Thursday, December 17, 2015

Cookie Dough Can Exoplodes In Woman's Vagina

NB: We cannot vouch for the reliability of our source on this story ...

The Pilsbury Doughboy. Not as scary as The StayPuft Marshmallow man but all the same you would not want him exploding inside you. (Image source)

A report coming in from North Carolina, USA, shows what a lot of bollocks the news of economic recovery we in the west are fed really is. Here is a story of a woman who was so hard up she shoved a can of dough up her chuff so her family could eat. And that terrorist loving, warmongering idiot Obama tells his country the economy is doing well and the USA can afford to wage wars on every little country that pisses him off? Don't believe it, Americans are starving. People are desperate (you have to be desperate to steal cookie dough, if someone can't afford to steal a family size pizza or Lasagne they are trult below the poverty line.

The 34-year-old mother of 3 is now under arrest after an alleged shoplifting incident turned tragic. Witnesses say Shatuanee Greene entered the North Carolina Walmart on Sunday with her three children ages 5, 7, and 8 when she grabbed a can of pre-made Christmas cookie dough. CCTV footage shows the young mother take the can to the toy aisle as her children crowded around her. Greene then lifted up her skirt and made the can of cookie dough “disappear.”

When Greene was approached by Walmart security, she told her children to go find their Aunt in the front of the store. “I told her to hand over the cookie dough,” said Timothy Reiner, a security guard at Walmart. “That’s when she turned around to run and I grabbed her by the arm. She put up a good fight, and that’s when I tackled her to the ground. Then I heard a loud pop and the lady started screaming. Gooey cookie dough was running down her leg. All hot and runny… it was so damn gross.”

According to eyewitnesses, the EMT that treated Greene on the scene said the Pillsbury cookie dough can exploded in Greene’s vagina during the fall causing her extreme pain. They removed the contents at the scene. The woman was treated then released into the custody of Greenville police. A police spokesperson said, "Greene told us she had just wanted to make some anchovy flavoured cookies for the kids dinner."

Read the full, gross out story of the coookie dough thief at:

MAIN TAGS: bizarre >> humor >> satire
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