Boggart Abroad

The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant. - Maximilien Robespierre.

Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Just When You Think We Had Reached Peak Crazy - Man Dressed As Bear Wrecks Rolls Royce In Insurance Scam

 

California has seen its share of insane behaviour and of bears breaking into cars (but usually only to steal picnic baskets, Boo Boo.) But the bears recently caught on camera entering luxury cars tipped off insurers that something wasn’t quite right.

In what has been dubbed “Operation Bear Claw,” the California Insurance Department said four Los Angeles residents were arrested on Wednesday (13 November 2024), ad charged with of defrauding insurance companies out of nearly $142,000 by claiming a bear had caused damage to their luxury vehicles.

The trio are accused of providing video recodings shot in the San Bernardino Mountains in January of a “bear” busy tearing apart the insides of a Rolls-Royce and two Mercedes to the insurance companies as part of their damage claims, the department said. Photos provided by the insurance department show what appeared to be scratches on the seats and doors.

On viewing video of the Rolls-Royce, an assessor for one of the insurance companies suspected that he was looking not at a mischievous bear, but a human in a fancy dress shop bear costume.

A biologist from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, sent by the state Insurance Department to review the three videos, concluded it was “clearly a human in a bear suit,” the insurance department said.

After executing a search warrant, detectives found the bear costume in the main suspects’ home, the department said. 

Watch video on LA Times website (best to go full screen)

 

MORE HUMOUR FROM ORIGINAL BOGGART BLOG 

 

 

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Mind Control: How It Works and how The Elite Use It
Mind control, the ability of science to deliver a completely compliant and uncomplaining population. It had been the goal of tyrants for over a hundred years, just as the abilty to comtrol human minds and turn us into humandroids has been the goal of mad scientists. But is such scientific advance getting uncomfortably close to reality? The idea of a scientific dictatorship able to subjugate individuality was born over a century ago by insane scientists and control freaks who saw human qualities like empathy and compassion as an obstriction to scientific progress. welcome to Dystoipia.

More Good News For UKIP As IDS Has Gone Down The Plug Hole
"Gloat all you like Farage, my dick is this big, nygh!" - IDS
It has been a good few days for Nigel Farage and his team. While some Labour and Conservative commentators are trying the anti EU Party did not do well in local elections, UKIP Candidates did better than expected in elections for local councils where in the majority of cases they were trying to ...

Civilisation Isn't Over 'Til The Bearded Lady Sings

Freak shows went out of fashion in the 1950s and rightly so in my not so humble opinion. Two headed dogs, a man with goat hooves, people who swallowed live animals (geeks) and bearded ladies were not anybody's idea of sophisticated entertainment. That being the case, why do Europe's media luvvies who think they are oh so sophisticated persist with the annual freak show that is the Eurovision song Contest?

Labour, the (very rich, elitist) People's party plans to ban your beer and pies
Are Labour still the peoples party or have they forgotten their core voters and working class roots and sold out to the metrpolitan left-wing intellectual media mafia. After the latest P R faux pas, few voters over 40 will be able to asociate the people's party with cloth caps and ciggies. Ed Miliband's proposed crackdown on tobbacco, alcohol and 'unhealthy eating' could well be the policy that loses the election.

Don't Worry If You Are A Barm Pot, Insane Is The New Normal
Have you noticed more and more people seem to be mentally ill these days. It isn't that we are getting crazier (the world is going insane, we are no more mad than our ancestors were), but that the bar people must jump to be diganosed bonkers is being set lower...

Technowanks for technowankers with Google Glass?
Almost every day we are reporting the latest 'breaktrhough in dehumanisation and a further step towards making us all slaves to technology. The scientists are out of control, semi - autistic nerds with no understanding of ethical boundaries are giving politicians with no scruples about reviving Naziism the tools to enslave us.

Mr. Hollande's Soap Opera
The bedroom antics of France's latest President would have brought down the government in most nations, particularly those tending to the protestant version of Christianity. So why has the exposure of a love affair betwen France's Francoise Hollande and a beautiful actress much younger than himself caused so little difficulty for the distinctly uncharismatic M. Hollande?

Oxbridge bias equals unfunny comedy says Bob Mortimer
If you don't know who Bob Mortimer is, you are either very young or an alien. He was half of the Reeeves and Mortimer team that made some hilariously surreal sketch shows throughout the 1990s and more recently co presenter (with Vic Reeves) of the bordertline insance panel game Shooting Stars.

Meat Will Only Be For The Elite If Leftie Scientists Get Their Way
A group of leading environmental scientists have tabled a report blaming cow farts for global warming and demanding punitive taxes on meat. Is there anything solid in their theory or are they all piss and wind?

Scientists Prove Science Is For The Terminally Insane
News coming out of the world of 'science' is getting crazier. But is that any wonder when the government and the BBC keep throwing money at idiots like Brian Cox who does a little come in his pants every time he uses the word science (which explains why he uses it six times a minute)

Haunted Vagina Star Opens Up For Boggart Blog
The latest music business Hollywood celebrity MK Ultra meltdown comes from bubble gum music act Ke$ha who is boasting about having a haunted vagina ...

Man Sues Wife Over Ugly Baby
Back to China for this nutty story. In the week the Chinese Renminbi replaced the US$ as the reserve currency it seems the Chinese are getting ready to replace Americans at the world's top nut jobs. According to a Local 10 news report Jian Feng sued his wife over their ugly baby recently. According to the lawsuit the "beautiful" couple could not ...

A Dragon Flies Over Truro
Now I know some among you who have relied on your belief in reason, logic and order to protect yourselves from having to face the fact that we live in a a crazy, insane world in which nothing makes sense will be throwing a hissy fit at the notion that a dragon might have escape

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Monday, July 22, 2024

A Very American Coup

 We don't for one second blieve it, but we like it - The Boggart Bloggers

by Truth or Fiction, MoA (64)

Under the guise of removing Biden from the presidential race, a coup d'etat took place in the United States. On Thursday, July 18 at 01:14 New York time, US President Joe Biden died of coronavirus. Biden's body is still in the freezer at the White House. The medical personnel who were involved in the treatment and resuscitation of Biden were held for some time at the residence in Washington, but after the go-ahead from Vice President Kamala Harris, they were conditionally released under a non-disclosure agreement and are now at their place of permanent residence under a ban on leaving the District of Columbia. Biden's death turns out to be a state secret. Part of the late president’s family found themselves hostage to the situation and their fate is being decided by the current leadership of the country. Biden's wife Jill and his children are under the control of Secret Service people who are now subject to the orders and instructions of Harris. Certain compromises have been reached with the president’s children; they are ready to support the myth of Biden allegedly alive until the autumn US presidential elections, but at the same time they put forward a number of conditions that were accepted. Ashley Biden will become Secretary of Health and Human Services in the future Cabinet, and Hunter Biden will move to the US National Security Council.

The appearance of the president's double after Biden's death completed the coup d'etat and put an end to the implementation of these intentions. Kamala Harris communicates through several channels at once with the leadership of several countries privy to the situation, issuing guarantees of continuity of course and various promises. In particular, the start of deliveries of F-16s is the result of an agreement with Kamala Harris to contain America’s Russian expansion in the region. Zelensky, through the State Department, received the go-ahead from Harris for active peacekeeping activities, which he, in fact, immediately took up. The compromise and agreements rallied around Harris by the late Biden’s inner circle are shaky and fragile. Negotiations are currently ongoing on the final configuration of power in the United States on the eve of the elections. There will be decisions and big changes soon. The country is really led by Kamala Harris. US President Joe Biden is dead, his place is taken by an impostor double! We continue to inform you about everything that is happening in the US leadership, and soon there will be numerous confirmations of our information.

 

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A Fairer Format for TV election debates
Faced with the prospect of Jeremy or BoJo I have been following the TV debates and political programs, Question Time, Andrew Marr etc.
Having listened intently to a wide range of our politicians I would like to share my ideas on how political discussion and debate should be formatted in future. READ ALL >>>

Lord’ Sugar Sugar called ‘racist’ for Senegal World Cup team tweet (but it was funny)

Alan Sugar (one of Blair's dodgy 'lords' and front man of the UK version of ‘The Apprentice’ TV show, has come in for a shitstorm of criticism online after tweeting a typical market traders gag about the Senegal World Cup team. Sugar posted a photoshopped image of the Senegal players standing over a row fake designer sunglasses and handbags and gave it the caption “I recognise some of these guys ...”

The Children From Hell
Children are like farts, your own aren't so bad but anyone else's are horrible." How many times has that been said by people in my age group I wonder.

A Couple of Smiles Before It Gets Even More Painful
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A Seasonal Miracle
South African Mr. (got that, Mr.) Charles Sibindana has been fined ZA$140 for making a fraudulent claim for sick pay. Mr. Sibindana submitted a certificate from his wife’s gynaecologist to back up ... >

The Lazy Pupil's Examination Aid.
In my school days, admittedly more years ago than I care to remember, trying to justify the non - delivery of homework projects with the excuse "please Sir, the dog ate it," was not exactly fresh and original but [ ... ] Now of course, in an era of mass communication and advanced technology it is a tired and lame excuse used as a last resort only by the terminally dull - witted. Family pets have advanced in status so much they can actually make a positive contribution to academic achievement ...

Personal Irritation Claims - Professional claims service
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Evolution: Theory, Fact or Fiasco?
Much as I have faith in Charles Darwin's Theory Of Evolution as a feasible explanation of how diverse species originate (The Origin Of The Species) it annoys me when science fans insist "Evolution is not a theory, its a fact." Especially annoying of course is when they cite evolution to explain the origin of life on earth or the development of human intelligence. Even more annoying is their assumption that anyone questioning them is a young Earth creationist. Here are a few thoughts on some of evolution theory's inconsistencies ...

You Know You Live In A Country Run By Idiots If ...
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The Duchess Of Kate Baby Referendum Scam Exposed
... in walk the three stooges, Cameron, Clegg and Miliband. "Look Kate old girl," they say, "there's a bit of a constitutional crisis heading our way over this Scottish referendum whatsit. We've been too complacent and the plebs up there in chilly Jockoland have got wind we've been keeping schtumm about ...

Hollande's ex lover: Don't kick a man when he's down ... stamp on his bollocks
things just go from bad to worse for the hapless French President. With his UMP opponents in disarray (those who're not in prison) the Socialist leader should be having an easy ride. But the Front Nationale are topping the polls, their leader Marine Le Pen is an increasingly popular figure and Hollande's popularity rating is the lowest for any French leader since Louis XIV lost his head over bad polling figures ...

Labour's bacon Sandwich Fail Show They Are Unfit To Govern Some people might think Boggart Blog has the same style of rabid hatred for all Labour politicians and Labour supporters and lefties reserve for Michael Gove. [ ... ] Take for your example the infamous bacon sandwich incident on the day before the European elections. Warned that Labour were losing votes to UKIP because working class people felt the party was elitist and out of touch, some out of touch elitist in the Labour Public Relations team decided Ed, who is not religious but is Jewish all the same, should be pictured eating a working class breakfast, a bacon sandwich.

Mind Control: How It Works and how The Elite Use It
Mind control, the ability of science to deliver a completely compliant and uncomplaining population. It had been the goal of tyrants for over a hundred years, just as the abilty to comtrol human minds and turn us into humandroids has been the goal of mad scientists. But is such scientific advance getting uncomfortably close to reality? The idea of a scientific dictatorship able to subjugate individuality was born over a century ago by insane scientists and control freaks who saw human qualities like empathy and compassion as an obstriction to scientific progress. welcome to Dystoipia.

More Good News For UKIP As IDS Has Gone Down The Plug Hole
"Gloat all you like Farage, my dick is this big, nygh!" - IDS
It has been a good few days for Nigel Farage and his team. While some Labour and Conservative commentators are trying the anti EU Party did not do well in local elections, UKIP Candidates did better than expected in elections for local councils where in the majority of cases they were trying to ...

Civilisation Isn't Over 'Til The Bearded Lady Sings

Freak shows went out of fashion in the 1950s and rightly so in my not so humble opinion. Two headed dogs, a man with goat hooves, people who swallowed live animals (geeks) and bearded ladies were not anybody's idea of sophisticated entertainment. That being the case, why do Europe's media luvvies who think they are oh so sophisticated persist with the annual freak show that is the Eurovision song Contest?

Labour, the (very rich, elitist) People's party plans to ban your beer and pies
Are Labour still the peoples party or have they forgotten their core voters and working class roots and sold out to the metrpolitan left-wing intellectual media mafia. After the latest P R faux pas, few voters over 40 will be able to asociate the people's party with cloth caps and ciggies. Ed Miliband's proposed crackdown on tobbacco, alcohol and 'unhealthy eating' could well be the policy that loses the election.

Don't Worry If You Are A Barm Pot, Insane Is The New Normal
Have you noticed more and more people seem to be mentally ill these days. It isn't that we are getting crazier (the world is going insane, we are no more mad than our ancestors were), but that the bar people must jump to be diganosed bonkers is being set lower...

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Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Roald Dahl Rewritten By Woke Censors

 

The kerfuffle this week triggered by a 'woke' publisher's decision to censor the works of children's author Roald Dahl, whose titles, including Matilda, The Witches, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, James and The Giant Peach and The Twits along with many others have been loved by children since the 1950s.

By removng many words which the 'woke' brigade consider 'insensitive' but are often important for their onomatopoeic value, the humourless, killjoy censors have also spoiled many passages which, as well as being funny in a childish way, also help young minds develop a love of language. 

Worse, in future there will be a patronising and moralistic message at the foot of the title page, which reads: “Words matter. The wonderful words of Roald Dahl can transport you to different worlds and introduce you to the most marvellous characters. This book was written many years ago, and so we regularly review the language to ensure that it can continue to be enjoyed by all today.”

Put simply this is telling readers or their parents, This is not the book that Roald  Dahl wrote.
 We, the woke elite' have decided that you, dear readers, are not intelligent enough to read the story as the author intended it to be read, so we have relocated it to a world where nobody is fat or ugly or skinny, stupid, dirty or poor and there are no men and boys or women and girls as the use of those words might offend fat and skinny, ugly, stupid, dirty, poor transexuals and non binary pansexuals.

In doing this the publishers have given themselves licence to edit any writer as they see fit, chopping, altering and adding where necessary to bring books in line with contemporary social and political sensibilities or, more likely, to ensure nothing is published that might prompt readers to question the narratives of the 'woke' agenda promoted by globalists.  Comparisons of the latest editions with earlier versions of the texts has identified hundreds of changes to Dahl’s stories.

Language related to weight, mental health, violence, gender and race has been cut and rewritten. The fat boy in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory is no longer fat but enormous despite the fact that his name, Gloop, suggests rolls of gloopy fat wobbling around when he moves. Remember the Cloud-Men in James and the Giant Peach? They are now the non binary Cloud-People. The Small Foxes in Fantastic Mr Fox are now female. In Matilda, a mention of Rudyard Kipling has been cut and Jane Austen added although while children could be familiar with The Jungle Book they are likely to be at least a decade away from wanting to read Pride and Prejudice.

Dahl, who died in 1990, has consistently been one of the most successful children’s authors of all time with  more than 250 million copies of his books, which include novels such as The Witches, The Twits and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, as well as his memoirs Boy and Going Solo sold worldwide. His stories are characterised by dark humour and unexpected twistlt so with an enormous sense of fun and the suggestion, loved by all children, that its OK to be outrageous in ways that their teachers would disapprove of. 

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Doctors Back NHS-Funded ‘Womb Transplants’ for Transgender People

Leading doctors working in the UK’s National Health Service have said they back taxpayer-funded womb transplants for biological males who identify as women and think a bit of surgery and a daily does of hormone tablets can turn them into real, child bearing women. Experts at parting the gullible and emotionally immature from their hard …

Transgenderism and The Left’s Stuggle Against Reality

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Gay Rights Lobby Calls for Ban on LGBT Therapy After Finding Hundreds of Health Workers Believe in a Cure The Daily Stirrer has noted many times that sheeple on the left of the political spectrum get very confused on finding not everybody agrees with their world view. but rather than accept they are bigots they turn on those who dissent. No surprise then that gay activist working in the NHS are turning on African, middle eastern and east Europan colleagues who believe homosexuality is a sin.

Bakery Sued For Refusing to Produce Pro-Gay Marriage Cake

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Nonconformity and Freethinking Now Considered Mental Illnesses
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Do gooders, progressives and bleeding hearts hurl hatred at those who question gay mariage. But these politically correct fools have as usual wallowed in their own self righteousness too long without thinking of the social consequences of this law which will devalue mainstream society to set up the gay community as a precious little elite

Equality Institute: Don’t Say ‘Pregnant Women’ as ‘People of All Genders Can Fall Pregnant’

The politics of the left is the politics of insanity, we have been reporting on this for fifteen years (nine as The Daily Stirrer, before that as Little Nicky Machiavelli. And things are getting worse rather than improving. Every day we hear of some new politically correct idiocy from government or from NGOs set up … Continue reading   Frustrated Civil Rights Leaders Say Facebook’s Zuckerberg ‘Lacks The Ability To Understand’ Race Issues We must confess to not understanding this headline, how can any American lack the ability to understand the USA’s deep and destructive race problems when the key to understanding is so simple. If you are white you have no rights and it is your duty to kiss the arse of every black person you meet. … Continue reading Frustrated Civil Rights Leaders Say Facebook’s Zuckerberg ‘Lacks The Ability To Understand’ Race Issues Union of UK academics says you can identify as any race & sex from RT 18 Nov, 2019 Warwick University graduates on the day of their graduation ceremony in Warwick, Britain July 17, 2017 © Reuters / Russell Boyce Birth race and gender can be thrown out the window as far as the UK Universities and Colleges Union is concerned. The fact that you can just declare yourself … Continue reading  ‘White Racism’ January 27, 2017 For too long the neo – Fascist left have been allowed to get away with dividing all of humanity into two racial groups, black and white. This has allowed those extremists who support the idea of an authoritarian, global government to dub white people generally as racist, because we have (again generally)been more successful throughout … Continue reading 

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Only Whites Can Be Racist? Google Rewrites Dictionary As Well As History
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UK School that ‘canceled’ JK Rowling as a role model over transgender views replaces her with ex - Olympic athlete who has even stronger views
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I will get hate mail now': Lord Robert Winston backs professor in trans row saying 'you can't change sex'
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Have You Committed Your Three Thought Crimes Today?
You're a criminal. So am I. We all are, according to some legal experts there are now so many crimes, a lot of them loosely defined, it is impossible to get through the day without committing at least three crimes. In fac it is often the case that by obeying one law you are breaking another.

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Saturday, January 07, 2023

Facebook Blocking Magazine Cover Making Fun Of Joe Biden, Triggers Free Speech Row


                   Joe Biden and Spectator (Australia) cover mocking Biden's confusion, (SourceThe Sun )

As if intent on giving the finger to critics who have attacked its political bias and blatant interference in political matters, and to show that rebranding as META was nothing but a cynical PR exercise, Social Media giant FACEBOOK has once again upset Free Speech advocated by blocking an advert satirising Joe Biden in a depiction of a magazine cover.

Facebook bosses told editorial staff at The Spectator magazine that a cartoon image of the US President on the cover of this week's edition (below) was banned 'for beaching community rules.'

The Spectator featured the headline Six More Years but showed Mr Biden holding up only five fingers

The Spectator featured the headline Six More Years but showed Mr Biden holding up only five fingers

The front cover featured the headline Six More Years but showed Mr Biden holding up only five fingers referencing the week's main article commenting on the unavoidably obvious evidence of the US Presidents mental decline..

Editor Fraser Nelson revealed he asked the Facebook to reconsider but the plea was rejected.

In response to the ban Nelson commented: “It seems satire directed at Biden is rejected by Facebook (or its bots) but when we mocked Trump, Boris, Truss that was all fine.” CUK Conservative MP David Jones hit out at Facebook's dictatorial action last night, saying: “Facebook really should understand that freedom of speech sometimes involves making fun of politicians.

“Nobody is beyond that and they shouldn’t be so precious.”

A typically humourless and robotic spokesperson for Facebook said last night: "Anyone who wants to run an ad that's political has to be authorised. If The Spectator resubmit this ad from an authorised person Page admin the ad will be approved." Which is almost as incoherent as the average Joe Biden sentence. Or to put it another way Facebook are saying, "You little people, the riff raff, the rabble, the proles, and anyone Mr. Zuckerberg does not like are not allowed to say or write anything Mark Zuckerberg's minions think The Master might not approve of.

Once again we have proof that the billionaire psychopaths who run corporations that, with the help and complicity of governments and supra - national bureaucracies have come to dominate the internet, behave as if they are above national law, natural law and the law of common decency, and though unelected (and unelectable to anything,) are determined to use the influence their internet near - monopolies to force on the public political agendas that serve only a small, wealthy and influential elite.

It seems our world is moving towards an era of deference and credulousness, the kind of society we left behind over 200 years ago when to criticise te Church or The King might easily result in a painpul and humiliating death and woulf certainly do one's social standing and career prospects no good at all. In modern times we have enthusiatically made use of our freedoms and civil rights to ridicule and satirise our leaders and although the questioning of authority and those who try to control opinion and suppress dissent has been reduced to a cottage industry, the tradition still lives on in online environments though it is now hardly seen or heard in the pervading authoritarian babble of mainstream media heard.

Why has the centre of politics collapsed in this way? I have a little anecdote. In the 1960s when I was a student studying economics and sociology, we were discussing the inter-war period and the rise of Hitler and Nazism in our History class. One day the lecturer, with a wry smile on his face, said “Hitler was a Liberal”. The whole class, who mostly identified as “liberal” or even “socialist”, howled with laughter at what they thought must be a joke. When peace returned, the teacher explained the close correlation between Liberalism and movements of the Far Right which had attracted among others, rational, well-educated Germans.

In short, Fascism and Nazism were in some ways similar to the kind of “Liberal Extremism” we are now encountering on social media and in the 'woke' cluture that has taken over our universities; it is the conviction that there is only one 'right' way of thinking and to utter any though or idea that does not conform to this is an offence of some kind, (hate crime is the currently fashionable term for examples of for non compliance. The decline of the Western liberal democracies and the type of degenerate crisis-politics we are seeing now is another example of this phenomenon. 

It is way beyond time that action was taken to break up the social media giants and deny the billionaire psychopaths the pernicious influence whatever deals they have made with corrupt politicians may have bought them.

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Friday, September 16, 2016

Now This Is Really Invading People's Safe Space

Not the usual kind of post from Boggart Abroad but most news is so depressing at the moment we just had to share this hilariously scatalogical item.


WOMAN BANNED FOR LIFE ON BRADFORD BUSES


Yolande Pgoba - The Phantom raspberry blower of Lumb Lane

A woman has received a lifetime ban from a Bradford bus company after repeatedly breaking wind in their vehicles. On one occasion a driver was physically sick.

Bradford Magistrates Court heard how Yolande Pogba, aged 48 from Lumb Lane, Bradford revelled in what she was doing and on most occasions would bend over to create the maximum impact.

On 18th June 2016, Mrs Pogba (pictured) boarded a packed bus at Bradford Interchange and crouched next to an elderly gentleman. As the bus set off, she let off an excruciating sound from her bottom. Mrs Pogba, clearly impressed with her actions then shouted "Some bastard has squashed a Frog"

The bus company recorded 148 separate incidents. On the 22nd June, she boarded a bus in Holmewood and forced her way into the drivers cab, repeatedly breaking wind, cupping her hands and rubbing the atrocious smell into the drivers face until he was sick.

Solicitor Rick Head, representing Mrs Pogba asked for the court to be sympathetic "My client is addicted to Jamaican Rum and kidney beans and unfortunately this brings out the worst in her personality and makes her bottom talk"

The court fined Mrs Pogba £375 and ordered her to pay £20 compensation to the bus driver - Mr Bob Aloo Bhuna. She was also sentenced to 120 hours community service.


Was justice done? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.








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More posts on humour or humor as Amricans prefer
Fatberg: The Danger That Lurks Down Below.
Cookie Dough Can Exoplodes In Woman's Vagina
Cheesier than Stinking Bishop?
Sun, Sand and The Sweaty Feet Inspector
Blessed Are The Cheesemakers, But Not This Bunch
Athlete’s Feet Cheese Eeeuch and double Eeeeuch
Google and the Government Will Collect data On Your Farts
Is Farting A Crime Or A Basic Human Right?
Did A Fart Change The World


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Thursday, July 14, 2016

This Is Why Boris Johnson Is The Most Popular Politician In Britain

Over the coming months our ears will, no doubt, be assaulted by much wailing and gnashing of teeth from lefties over the appointment of Brois Johnson as foreign secretary, before the shock amd horropr gives way to the usual hate mob screeching. For the sake of balance in the political debate I'd like to offer a few reminders of why Boris is the most popular politician in Britain and who, alongside Nigel Farage, he inspired the people of Britain to stand up to the emotional bullying of the Politically Correct Though Police by voting LEAVE and thus save Europe from tyranny for the FOURTH time in two hundred years.

Over to Boris at his most diplomatic:

On Vladimir Putin:
Johnson compared the Russian president to a character straight out of the Harry Potter books, in a 2015 column for The Telegraph newspaper about working with Russia to remove Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"Despite looking a bit like Dobby the House Elf, he is a ruthless and manipulative tyrant"

On Hillary Clinton:
"She’s got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital; and as I snap out of my trance I slap my forehead in astonishment. How can I possibly want Hillary? I mean, she represents, on the face of it, everything I came into politics to oppose: not just a general desire to raise taxes and nationalise things, but an all-round purse-lipped political correctness."

On Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan:
When Angela Merkel permitted a criminal prosecution to proceed against Jan Böhmermann, a young German comedian, for the “crime” of insulting Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Douglas Murray editor or owner or something of The Spectator, offered a prize for the best insulting limerick about the Turkish tyrant. Here is Boris Johnson's winning entry:

There was a young fellow from Ankara
Who was a terrific wankerer
Till he sowed his wild oats
With the help of a goat
But he didn’t even stop to thankera.

On the EU:
“First they make us pay in our taxes for Greek olive groves, many of which probably don’t exist. Then they say we can’t dip our bread in olive oil in restaurants. We didn’t join the Common Market – betraying the New Zealanders and their butter – in order to be told when, where and how we must eat the olive oil we have been forced to subsidize.”

On China
“Virtually every single one of our international sports were invented or codified by the British. And I say this respectfully to our Chinese hosts, who have excelled so magnificently at Ping-pong. Ping-pong was invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th century and it was called Wiff-waff!”




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Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Does Hausfrau - Volksfuhrer Merkel's Open Border Policy Break The Law



Opposition to the government of anti - European Islamophiliac German leader Angela Merkel is growing in Germany (Image source)

Back in October we reported that a group of concerned German citizens had launched a bid to impeach the German Chancellor Angela Merkel because her 'open doors' immigration policy and insistence that Germany should admit without question and welcome every person who arrives in the country without valid travel documents. Merkel's efforts to make German's change they lifestyle, and German women change the way they dress because some long established European traditions 'insult Islam' have gone down like a lead Zepplin too.

Since then the immigrant crisis in Germany has worsened and the mass rape and sexual assault of German women by Muslim males from north Africa and the middle east in Cologne and other cities at New Year have made the public mood very ugly and may prove to be a turning point in the efforts of European ruling elites to impose Islamic culture on secular and Christian nations.

In yesterday's news we learned that not only are more organisations calling for Merkel's impeachment and removal from office, but that a German federal judge has declared the increasingly dictatorial chancellor's immigration policy unlawful.

In a thread on that story and the anti social behaviour of Koranderthal immigrants Merkel's government has allowed to flood into Germany (which we will report fully later,) I found this little gem by a commenter using the name Dexy:

The nazi in her commie cape
Cried: My, don't I look splendid!
Hitler's joke and Marx's jape,
So skilfully I've blended.
Through ruthless robbery and rape,
All good folk I've offended.
But I'll sell 'em all to the mozlem ape
Before the year is ended.


Very funny, though I'm sure lefties will insist that Hitler, who called his party The German National Socialist Worker Party was not a socialist because socialists are cuddle and egalitarian. Poor lefties, they've never read any history, only propaganda, and thus are ignorant of the similarities between Hitler's regime ans those of Joe Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, Fidel Castro and Pol Pot.







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Latest Fashion Trend: European Women in Hijab
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Mainstram Media Finally wake Up To Migrant Crisis

In a move that will leave many of its shocked and disoriented, The Sun, the tabloid of tits and trivia today woke up to the immigration crisis that is threatening the social stability of European nations and reported some real news.

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Friday, December 25, 2015

Fatberg: The Danger That Lurks Down Below.

As I started reading a story on Russia Today's UK News page, at the end of paragraph two something struck a chord in my memory.

from Russia Today:

A giant “fatberg” found in a London sewer could have put houses at risk of flooding over the festive period, Thames Water has warned.

The huge mass of waste products, made up of grease, fat, and items which do not break down in sewage water such as face wipes and diapers, was found underneath Leather Lane in Clerkenwell.

Thames Water said if the fatberg had not been discovered, it could well have caused sewage pipes to burst and flood homes.

Following the discovery on December 19, teams of specialist engineers have worked throughout the week to break down the mass into smaller pieces and get rid of the numerous items that had become stuck in the grease.


And then it came to me, this is why the story stirred my memory:

DOWN BELOW by Sidney Carter
(tune: Sam Hall)

When you're working in the dark, down below
Underneath St James Park, down below
When you're working in the dark
Underneath St James park
It isn't half a lark, down below

Now it isn't hard to tell,down below
If it's Bow or Clerkenwell, down below
Cos Bow and Clerkenwell
Has a different kind of smell
And you knows it pretty well, down below

.

Come down Covent Garden way, down below
in the merry month of May, down below
The fragrance of the flowers
Gives us many happy hours
And we sing a roundelay, down below

When to Billingsgate you come, down below
When to Billingsgate you come, down below
When to Billingsgate you come
Then things really start to hum
And the smell will knock you dumb, down below

And the objects that you find, down below
Serve to exercise the mind, down below
There are watches that wont wind
All wrapped up in bacon rind
And that isn't all you find, down below

Yes there's something in a sewer, down below
What must have a strange allure, down below
The magic of the drains
Is a thing I can't explain
But it's calling me again, down below
Yes it's calling me again, down below


Not a suitable subject for humour (or humor) at Christmas you may think, but people need top be aware of all the many existential treats to our civilization that are out there. Who knows what monstrous life form may evolve from the fatbergs. Obviously there is human and other types on DNA 'Down Below' along with all sorts of dodgy chemicals. Was there an X Files episode about it once?

The London Fatberg (below, image source: The Daily Mail ) is still growing.

The London Fatberg is growing

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Thursday, December 17, 2015

Cookie Dough Can Exoplodes In Woman's Vagina

NB: We cannot vouch for the reliability of our source on this story ...


The Pilsbury Doughboy. Not as scary as The StayPuft Marshmallow man but all the same you would not want him exploding inside you. (Image source)

A report coming in from North Carolina, USA, shows what a lot of bollocks the news of economic recovery we in the west are fed really is. Here is a story of a woman who was so hard up she shoved a can of dough up her chuff so her family could eat. And that terrorist loving, warmongering idiot Obama tells his country the economy is doing well and the USA can afford to wage wars on every little country that pisses him off? Don't believe it, Americans are starving. People are desperate (you have to be desperate to steal cookie dough, if someone can't afford to steal a family size pizza or Lasagne they are trult below the poverty line.

The 34-year-old mother of 3 is now under arrest after an alleged shoplifting incident turned tragic. Witnesses say Shatuanee Greene entered the North Carolina Walmart on Sunday with her three children ages 5, 7, and 8 when she grabbed a can of pre-made Christmas cookie dough. CCTV footage shows the young mother take the can to the toy aisle as her children crowded around her. Greene then lifted up her skirt and made the can of cookie dough “disappear.”

When Greene was approached by Walmart security, she told her children to go find their Aunt in the front of the store. “I told her to hand over the cookie dough,” said Timothy Reiner, a security guard at Walmart. “That’s when she turned around to run and I grabbed her by the arm. She put up a good fight, and that’s when I tackled her to the ground. Then I heard a loud pop and the lady started screaming. Gooey cookie dough was running down her leg. All hot and runny… it was so damn gross.”

According to eyewitnesses, the EMT that treated Greene on the scene said the Pillsbury cookie dough can exploded in Greene’s vagina during the fall causing her extreme pain. They removed the contents at the scene. The woman was treated then released into the custody of Greenville police. A police spokesperson said, "Greene told us she had just wanted to make some anchovy flavoured cookies for the kids dinner."

Read the full, gross out story of the coookie dough thief at: Now8News.com



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MAIN TAGS: bizarre >> humor >> satire
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Saturday, December 12, 2015

And Now For Something Completely Different

Blogging here for the past couple of months has been pretty bleak as events in Syria, Turkey andthe middle east have dominated the news. But the season to be jolly is almost upon us and it's time we all had a laugh, well all of us except the guy in this story:

Alligator Eats Florida Burglary Suspect Hiding From Cops

Never smile at a Crocodile (the picture is fake I'm assured) (Source)

Down in Florida, ABC 13 news reports, police have concluded that a man suspected of burglary and on the run from officers escaped justice in a rather novel way.

Matthew Riggins, 22, alleged to have been responsible for a string of burglaries in Brevard County in November 2015 was spotted with a likely accomplice by police officers on the morning of 13 November, but the crooks escaped on foot and hid in a swamp. Officers who set off in pursuit failed to find them

Police searching the area later reported hearing yelling but were unable to determine the source as night had fallen. Ten days later, human remain, identified by DNA tests as having once been attached to Riggins were found floating in Barefoot Bay lake.

Divers sent to recover the remains encountered an 11-foot alligator which had shreds of human flesh (later proved to be a DNA match with the bits of Riggins the 'gator had not swallowed) behaved aggressively towards them (or perhaps mistook them for the next meal). Florida authorities called sent an Alligator to capture the creature. Official reports say it was shot. Sources with the state police department say it was recruited and given the rank 'Termigator'.

A coroners report concluded Riggins was attacked by the 11-foot gator while hiding from authorities in the 'gator infested lake and recorded a verdict of death by stupidity.


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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Mosquitos, Mad Scientists and Ethics


Scientists are talking about using genetically modified mosquitos to deliver vaccines. Vaccines and diseases at the same time? I suppose it is efficient at least.
Mad scientists are a fictional stereotype you might think, they exist in Bond films, pulp fiction anf B movies. Think again. A group of mad scientists have come up with a scheme to use genetically modified mosquitos with antigens in their saliva to eradicate illness by vaccinating the world by biting everybody.
Mad Japanese scientists have reaffirmed my faith in human collective insanity. Rather than world domination they are pursuing the goal of world vaccination. These nuts, as reported in the April issue of “Insect Molecular Biology”, claim they have developed a method of making mosquitoes into flying syringes full of vaccine.

The project involved adding an antigen (a compound that triggers an immune response) to a mosquito’s saliva. In theory when the new, antigen enriched mosquitoes select a tasty human for lunch, instead of infecting their dinner with malaria, yellow fever or a number of other diseases ranging from lethal to mildly inconvenient, the pesky insects will be inoculating the people they are dining on against those or other diseases.

Only a scientists would be unable to see at least a million of the flaws in this idea.

Read more:Mad Scientists, Mosquitos and Ethics

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Dr. Offit, Vaccine Pusher in Chief is exposed as a liar.
Some time ago my editor-in-chief was the target of hate attacks by left wing sheeple for questioning the effectiveness of vaccines as anything but profit drivers for Big Pharma. Well Ian has thick skin so he was quite pleased to have provoked a few death threats. One of his targets howver was Dr. Offit who had famously said new born babies could have 10,000 vaccines at the same time without suffering harm. He has not fared so well, having become an object of ridicule.


Vaccinate the World: Gates, Rockefeller Seek Global Population Reduction

Vaccinate the World: Gates, Rockefeller Seek Global Population Reduction. Being a former computer professional from back when we had to know how the things worked to program them, Bill Gates was always the incompetent amateur who got a big leg up because of his CIA connections and then made 'not fit for purpose' acceptable quality. Now this half witted shyster is playing a big role in formulating United Nations eugenics policy



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Lead Developer Of HPV Vaccines Comes Clean, Warns Parents & Young Girls It’s All A Giant Deadly Scam

Dr. Diane Harper was a leading expert responsible for the safety and effectiveness studies of the human papilloma virus (HPV) vaccines, Gardasil™ and Cervarix™. Dr. Harper also authored many scholarly papers about the vaccines. She is now the latest in a long string of experts who are pressing the red alert button on the consequences and irrelevancy of these vaccines.

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Thursday, August 05, 2010

The Boggart Blog Secret UFO Files

Today the UK the Ministry of Defence released its annual batch of secret investigation files files I thought we would reprise some reports of Boggart Blog's secret UFO investigations:


Unidentified Flying Turd sighted hovering over western England in 2009 (Image source)

Life On Mars After rubbishing reports of UFOs and alien visitations for years scientists got very excited when they thought they had found water (ice) on the surface of Mars. This indicates that other planets in our solar system miht just be able to support life. Not as good as seeing a flying saucer in your back garden though is it?

Life On Mars ConspiracyThe American Military have long dreamed of putting a men on Mars, landing a manned space craft on the surface of the Red Planet. Martians are such stuff as dreams are made of but reality suggests that as with the moon landing all the astronauts would find is rocks. Unless there is a conspiracy of silence to keep us from finding our Mars is home to a race of three breasted alien nymphomaniacs and the military and political elite want to keep this to themselves...

Life On Mars - The TruthScientists have sighed, UFO spotters have uffed and theorists have theed about whether life could exist on Mars. In spite of numerous UFO sightings, alien encounters and serious but ultimately futile research we were no nearer to knowing the truth about life on mars. Until now. UFO investigator and whirling dervish Adrian Tantric Spoon tells all.

Turd Nine From Outer SpaceWhat are the mysterious turn shaped brown unidentified flying objects that have been filmed hovering over Southern England. Are they alien craft on a mission, giant intergalactic jobbies from monsters that live in black holes or are they a message, harbingers of doom?

The Return Of Turd Nine From Outer SpaceSci - Fi B movie classic Plan Nine From Outer Space, Edward D Wood's masterpiece of incompetence has inspired many parodies. But has it also inspired an alien race to visit earth in their turd shaped space craft.

<strong>MORE FROM THE GREENTEETH STABLE</strong>

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I have never understood why we invest so much money in theoretical physics, which basically means blokes with pointy heads sitting around having intellectual wanks as they dream up constantly whackier theories to explain how our universe works. One idea they cling to fondly which I find crazy, is that time is somehow material than can be stretched, compressed, kicked around like a football and made to disappear.


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The role of cosmic electric currents in earth’s climate

If you’ve been following the growth of the Electric Universe movement, you know that this growth is due largely to the power of a new paradigm to explain things left unexplained by conventional theory. The greatest surprises of the space age are not surprises to researchers exploring the role of the electric force across the cosmos. Nor is it surprising to see the electric force at work close to home, both in the sculpting of planetary surfaces and in the evolution of life on earth ...

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We are not the only web site to take exception to accusations of being anti - science and all the other pejorative terms used by the Church Of Scienceology disciples to deflect criticism from independent minded people who are smart anough to ask Cui Bono? Which corporate business benefits.

TThe Idea Of An Infinite Universe Is Fashionable Again

The now little discussed (due to the witch hunt tactics employed by the scientific consensus gangsters) idea of an infinite, eternal, self renewing universe makes a lot more sense than a point at which everything suddenly materialises out of nothing.

Eugenics by any other name: Scientists call for ban on editing human genome.

Mention eugenics and the idiotic screechers of the left will start going on about Naziism, although the science of Eugenics would not be a bad idea if scientists, businesses and politicians could be trusted with such power. Power however always tempts the holder to abuse it, and the power to create a master raceby genetic modification of human DNA cannot be entristed to three professions that have always been deficient in ethical awareness.


Arrogance, Intolerance, Snobbishness and Corrupt, Self Interested Practices. It's modern science.
The world sems to be waking up the the fact that while in the past scientists tended to be rather detached, slightly obsessive people not driven by material goals, the modern science academy has been very largely corrupted by political patronage and corporate money. The academic field of climate science it especially notable for this.

Was CERN A False Prophet - Laugh, I Nearly Shat

Some of you may remember the stick we have taken from The Church Of Scienceology Cult member when in taking the piss out of the over educated idiots at CERN, who are looking for "The Answer To Life, The Universe and Everything," by comparing their quest for The Higgs Boson to someone looking for a needle in a haystack when ...


Mainstream Media Myths and The Power Of Belief

Years ago, an elderly, frail Japanese martial arts master once boasted a 200-0 record against his opponents. He claimed to have a unique power that allowed him to inflict serious injury on people without actually laying a finger on them. Was it Chi? Magic? None of the above. It was a total scam. But that didn't matter.

Docors, Scientists Greased by Big Pharma? Told You So.

The Physician Payments Sunshine Act, which was passed by the US Senate with the help of an extensive investigation led by Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA), provisions that doctors who receive payoffs from drug or vaccine companies must disclose this when pushing new therapies or medical procedures from what would otherwise appear to be unbiased intentions. (It happens in Europe too, see links in article)

New Physics Theory Proposes Time Is Disappearing From Our Universe.

I have never understood why we invest so much money in theoretical physics, which basically means blokes with pointy heads sitting around having intellectual wanks as they dream up constantly whackier theories to explain how our universe works. One idea they cling to fondly which I find crazy, is that time is somehow material than can be stretched, compressed, kicked around like a football and made to disappear.


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Elsewhere: [ The Original Boggart Blog] ... [ Daily

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