Saturday, May 14, 2005

Dog Depression

The Brown Dog confronts its Black Dog

The once fashionable and prosperous ship-building centre of Dumbarton is the centre of an apparent spate of canine “suicides” after at least five dogs are said to have jumped from a historic bridge in the past six months.

Animal behaviourists are warning owners to keep their dogs on a strong leash when crossing Overtoun bridge.Canine social worker Jock McMutt said "Crivens, its no canine depression the wee duggies're sufferin' fra.

The lads are in fine fettle inside thur heids, theyse enthusiastic an' ready tae chase anything. The problem's cause by teenagers hoyin' thur empty carry - oots over the rail. The wee doggie thinks its a game and sets off tae fetch."

Rev. Jock McHolyjoe responded "the truth is the dugs' wee brains are addled. Dug owners should keep thur pets awa' frae the Ouiske an' Buckie. Dugs are nae meant tae booze."


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