A Very American Coup

 We don't for one second blieve it, but we like it - The Boggart Bloggers

by Truth or Fiction, MoA (64)

Under the guise of removing Biden from the presidential race, a coup d'etat took place in the United States. On Thursday, July 18 at 01:14 New York time, US President Joe Biden died of coronavirus. Biden's body is still in the freezer at the White House. The medical personnel who were involved in the treatment and resuscitation of Biden were held for some time at the residence in Washington, but after the go-ahead from Vice President Kamala Harris, they were conditionally released under a non-disclosure agreement and are now at their place of permanent residence under a ban on leaving the District of Columbia. Biden's death turns out to be a state secret. Part of the late president’s family found themselves hostage to the situation and their fate is being decided by the current leadership of the country. Biden's wife Jill and his children are under the control of Secret Service people who are now subject to the orders and instructions of Harris. Certain compromises have been reached with the president’s children; they are ready to support the myth of Biden allegedly alive until the autumn US presidential elections, but at the same time they put forward a number of conditions that were accepted. Ashley Biden will become Secretary of Health and Human Services in the future Cabinet, and Hunter Biden will move to the US National Security Council.

The appearance of the president's double after Biden's death completed the coup d'etat and put an end to the implementation of these intentions. Kamala Harris communicates through several channels at once with the leadership of several countries privy to the situation, issuing guarantees of continuity of course and various promises. In particular, the start of deliveries of F-16s is the result of an agreement with Kamala Harris to contain America’s Russian expansion in the region. Zelensky, through the State Department, received the go-ahead from Harris for active peacekeeping activities, which he, in fact, immediately took up. The compromise and agreements rallied around Harris by the late Biden’s inner circle are shaky and fragile. Negotiations are currently ongoing on the final configuration of power in the United States on the eve of the elections. There will be decisions and big changes soon. The country is really led by Kamala Harris. US President Joe Biden is dead, his place is taken by an impostor double! We continue to inform you about everything that is happening in the US leadership, and soon there will be numerous confirmations of our information.

 

RELATED

Coronavirus: Something To Make Us Smile
Most of us are confused about the rules we’re supposed to follow during lockdown, and no one more so that the thick, blundering plod who seem to think they should be arresting people for buying non essential stuff like food, roughing up people who are sitting in their gardens, or kicking front doors down and busting up illicit social gatherings of one person sitting alone in his house. So here is a concise summary of the rules, which makes what you can and can’t do clear as mud

Germany’s Official State TV Channel Cheers Coronavirus For Killing Old People
Trawling around the weirder fringes of the web, as we bloggers and cyberjournalists are sometimes obliged to if we want to bring you the news the mainstream will not report, one occasionally comes across something important but disturbing – like being brought face – to – face with how sick and warped the far left ecopsychos really are. Take a sketch recently broadcast as part of a satirical show the title of which translates as Bohemian Browser Ballet, shown by German state broadcaster ARD.

A Fairer Format for TV election debates
Faced with the prospect of Jeremy or BoJo I have been following the TV debates and political programs, Question Time, Andrew Marr etc.
Having listened intently to a wide range of our politicians I would like to share my ideas on how political discussion and debate should be formatted in future. READ ALL >>>

Lord’ Sugar Sugar called ‘racist’ for Senegal World Cup team tweet (but it was funny)

Alan Sugar (one of Blair's dodgy 'lords' and front man of the UK version of ‘The Apprentice’ TV show, has come in for a shitstorm of criticism online after tweeting a typical market traders gag about the Senegal World Cup team. Sugar posted a photoshopped image of the Senegal players standing over a row fake designer sunglasses and handbags and gave it the caption “I recognise some of these guys ...”

The Children From Hell
Children are like farts, your own aren't so bad but anyone else's are horrible." How many times has that been said by people in my age group I wonder.

A Couple of Smiles Before It Gets Even More Painful
Almost at the end of a month of bad and sad news; Iraq, Afghanistan, the Financial Markets, the environment and the death of Desert Orchid being just a few topics, its nice to hear something jolly.

A Seasonal Miracle
South African Mr. (got that, Mr.) Charles Sibindana has been fined ZA$140 for making a fraudulent claim for sick pay. Mr. Sibindana submitted a certificate from his wife’s gynaecologist to back up ... >

The Lazy Pupil's Examination Aid.
In my school days, admittedly more years ago than I care to remember, trying to justify the non - delivery of homework projects with the excuse "please Sir, the dog ate it," was not exactly fresh and original but [ ... ] Now of course, in an era of mass communication and advanced technology it is a tired and lame excuse used as a last resort only by the terminally dull - witted. Family pets have advanced in status so much they can actually make a positive contribution to academic achievement ...

Personal Irritation Claims - Professional claims service
OMFG, we've had about ten calls yesterday and today about personal injury claims, mis - selling, unfair treatment at work, medical negligence, you name is, a bunch of shyster lawyers want to sue someone on your behalf for it.

Evolution: Theory, Fact or Fiasco?
Much as I have faith in Charles Darwin's Theory Of Evolution as a feasible explanation of how diverse species originate (The Origin Of The Species) it annoys me when science fans insist "Evolution is not a theory, its a fact." Especially annoying of course is when they cite evolution to explain the origin of life on earth or the development of human intelligence. Even more annoying is their assumption that anyone questioning them is a young Earth creationist. Here are a few thoughts on some of evolution theory's inconsistencies ...

You Know You Live In A Country Run By Idiots If ...
We all know our countries are run by idiots, but how do we prove it? One way is to observe someone and record how many times they do something that will undo something else they just did. Here are some examples:

The Duchess Of Kate Baby Referendum Scam Exposed
... in walk the three stooges, Cameron, Clegg and Miliband. "Look Kate old girl," they say, "there's a bit of a constitutional crisis heading our way over this Scottish referendum whatsit. We've been too complacent and the plebs up there in chilly Jockoland have got wind we've been keeping schtumm about ...

Hollande's ex lover: Don't kick a man when he's down ... stamp on his bollocks
things just go from bad to worse for the hapless French President. With his UMP opponents in disarray (those who're not in prison) the Socialist leader should be having an easy ride. But the Front Nationale are topping the polls, their leader Marine Le Pen is an increasingly popular figure and Hollande's popularity rating is the lowest for any French leader since Louis XIV lost his head over bad polling figures ...

Labour's bacon Sandwich Fail Show They Are Unfit To Govern Some people might think Boggart Blog has the same style of rabid hatred for all Labour politicians and Labour supporters and lefties reserve for Michael Gove. [ ... ] Take for your example the infamous bacon sandwich incident on the day before the European elections. Warned that Labour were losing votes to UKIP because working class people felt the party was elitist and out of touch, some out of touch elitist in the Labour Public Relations team decided Ed, who is not religious but is Jewish all the same, should be pictured eating a working class breakfast, a bacon sandwich.

Mind Control: How It Works and how The Elite Use It
Mind control, the ability of science to deliver a completely compliant and uncomplaining population. It had been the goal of tyrants for over a hundred years, just as the abilty to comtrol human minds and turn us into humandroids has been the goal of mad scientists. But is such scientific advance getting uncomfortably close to reality? The idea of a scientific dictatorship able to subjugate individuality was born over a century ago by insane scientists and control freaks who saw human qualities like empathy and compassion as an obstriction to scientific progress. welcome to Dystoipia.

More Good News For UKIP As IDS Has Gone Down The Plug Hole
"Gloat all you like Farage, my dick is this big, nygh!" - IDS
It has been a good few days for Nigel Farage and his team. While some Labour and Conservative commentators are trying the anti EU Party did not do well in local elections, UKIP Candidates did better than expected in elections for local councils where in the majority of cases they were trying to ...

Civilisation Isn't Over 'Til The Bearded Lady Sings

Freak shows went out of fashion in the 1950s and rightly so in my not so humble opinion. Two headed dogs, a man with goat hooves, people who swallowed live animals (geeks) and bearded ladies were not anybody's idea of sophisticated entertainment. That being the case, why do Europe's media luvvies who think they are oh so sophisticated persist with the annual freak show that is the Eurovision song Contest?

Labour, the (very rich, elitist) People's party plans to ban your beer and pies
Are Labour still the peoples party or have they forgotten their core voters and working class roots and sold out to the metrpolitan left-wing intellectual media mafia. After the latest P R faux pas, few voters over 40 will be able to asociate the people's party with cloth caps and ciggies. Ed Miliband's proposed crackdown on tobbacco, alcohol and 'unhealthy eating' could well be the policy that loses the election.

Don't Worry If You Are A Barm Pot, Insane Is The New Normal
Have you noticed more and more people seem to be mentally ill these days. It isn't that we are getting crazier (the world is going insane, we are no more mad than our ancestors were), but that the bar people must jump to be diganosed bonkers is being set lower...

Facebook Blocking Magazine Cover Making Fun Of Joe Biden, Triggers Free Speech Row

                   Joe Biden and Spectator (Australia) cover mocking Biden's confusion, (SourceThe Sun )

As if intent on giving the finger to critics who have attacked its political bias and blatant interference in political matters, and to show that rebranding as META was nothing but a cynical PR exercise, Social Media giant FACEBOOK has once again upset Free Speech advocated by blocking an advert satirising Joe Biden in a depiction of a magazine cover.

Facebook bosses told editorial staff at The Spectator magazine that a cartoon image of the US President on the cover of this week's edition (below) was banned 'for beaching community rules.'

The Spectator featured the headline Six More Years but showed Mr Biden holding up only five fingers

The front cover featured the headline Six More Years but showed Mr Biden holding up only five fingers referencing the week's main article commenting on the unavoidably obvious evidence of the US Presidents mental decline..

Editor Fraser Nelson revealed he asked the Facebook to reconsider but the plea was rejected.

In response to the ban Nelson commented: “It seems satire directed at Biden is rejected by Facebook (or its bots) but when we mocked Trump, Boris, Truss that was all fine.” CUK Conservative MP David Jones hit out at Facebook's dictatorial action last night, saying: “Facebook really should understand that freedom of speech sometimes involves making fun of politicians.

“Nobody is beyond that and they shouldn’t be so precious.”

A typically humourless and robotic spokesperson for Facebook said last night: "Anyone who wants to run an ad that's political has to be authorised. If The Spectator resubmit this ad from an authorised person Page admin the ad will be approved." Which is almost as incoherent as the average Joe Biden sentence. Or to put it another way Facebook are saying, "You little people, the riff raff, the rabble, the proles, and anyone Mr. Zuckerberg does not like are not allowed to say or write anything Mark Zuckerberg's minions think The Master might not approve of.

Once again we have proof that the billionaire psychopaths who run corporations that, with the help and complicity of governments and supra - national bureaucracies have come to dominate the internet, behave as if they are above national law, natural law and the law of common decency, and though unelected (and unelectable to anything,) are determined to use the influence their internet near - monopolies to force on the public political agendas that serve only a small, wealthy and influential elite.

It seems our world is moving towards an era of deference and credulousness, the kind of society we left behind over 200 years ago when to criticise te Church or The King might easily result in a painpul and humiliating death and woulf certainly do one's social standing and career prospects no good at all. In modern times we have enthusiatically made use of our freedoms and civil rights to ridicule and satirise our leaders and although the questioning of authority and those who try to control opinion and suppress dissent has been reduced to a cottage industry, the tradition still lives on in online environments though it is now hardly seen or heard in the pervading authoritarian babble of mainstream media heard.

Why has the centre of politics collapsed in this way? I have a little anecdote. In the 1960s when I was a student studying economics and sociology, we were discussing the inter-war period and the rise of Hitler and Nazism in our History class. One day the lecturer, with a wry smile on his face, said “Hitler was a Liberal”. The whole class, who mostly identified as “liberal” or even “socialist”, howled with laughter at what they thought must be a joke. When peace returned, the teacher explained the close correlation between Liberalism and movements of the Far Right which had attracted among others, rational, well-educated Germans.

In short, Fascism and Nazism were in some ways similar to the kind of “Liberal Extremism” we are now encountering on social media and in the 'woke' cluture that has taken over our universities; it is the conviction that there is only one 'right' way of thinking and to utter any though or idea that does not conform to this is an offence of some kind, (hate crime is the currently fashionable term for examples of for non compliance. The decline of the Western liberal democracies and the type of degenerate crisis-politics we are seeing now is another example of this phenomenon. 

It is way beyond time that action was taken to break up the social media giants and deny the billionaire psychopaths the pernicious influence whatever deals they have made with corrupt politicians may have bought them.

RELATED:

Facebook index
Facebook fake news
Facebook privacy piracy
Fake news ministry
Google privacy
Google omnibus
Free speech catalogue
Facebooks Internets official censor
Free speech censoredEXPLORE:
[Daily Stirrer] ... [ Our Page on on Substack ]... [Boggart Aboad] ... [ Ian Thorpe at Quora ] ... [ Greenteeth Home ] ... [ Greenteeth on Minds.com ] ... [ Here Come The Russians ] ... [ Latest Posts ] ... [ Blog Bulletin ]

The End Of The Electric Car Owners Nightmare?

 

                     The G - Wiz Electrosport Deluxe GT (top speed 30 mph, range 20 miles)
 

Saw this short article in an online comment thread, the person who posted it acknowledged it was not original but did not provide a source reference. So apologies and a big thumbs up to the originated, whoever you are, you have given us a much needed belly laugh.

Own an EV?

Suffering from 'range anxiety'?

Not sure what to do?

Well JML have the answer!

The new JML GRETA (Gasoline Recharging Electrical Travel Accessory) is out now! An almost silent petrol driven generator, it's the answer to every EV owner's prayers.

Fitted in either a roof box or a small trailer, the new JML GRETA is simply connected with a short cable to your EV's charging socket and runs during your journey to constantly recharge your battery.

No more worrying if you're going to get there. With the new GRETA from JML, you KNOW you will.

Your GRETA can be refuelled at any petrol station, so you'll be on your way again in minutes. No more hanging around for hours waiting for the wind to blow to run the charging point.

  Options include the basic pull start GRETA at just £349.99 or the electric start GRETA-E at £399.99, this is the future of Electric Motoring, new from JML.

Available from Tesco, Argos, B&Q, Asda and Wilko stores and online retailers... 

 

MORE POSTS on Green delusions

 

 

We Told You So - Government-funded Report Confirms World’s Largest offshore Wind Farm is UnprofitableA report commissioned by the Norwegian government has contradicted Boris Johnson’s recent claim that offshore wind costs have fallen by 70% in a decade. The report also blows a huge hole in Johnson's grandiose pledges to the COP26 conference that offshore wind power would propel Britain to its net - zero target for Carbon Dioxide emissions well before 2050, the target set by the climate conference for achieving that target.
Continue reading >>>

COP26 Climate Conference - Just Another Elitist Scam To Steal Your Money
If you are one of the people who still relies on mainstream media for information, the 'on - message' news reports coming from the COP26 Climate Conference in Glasgow this week, and during the build up to the conference, might have convinced you that the entire world (barring a few crazy conspiacy theorists,) is signed up to the 'net zero' agenda and believes that destroying the economies of the developed nations while exporting our jobs, business and prosperity to places like India and China is the only way to save the planet. Continue reading >>>

Green dreams of Heat Pumps Continue reading >>>
When Boris Johnson revealed the UK Government plans for achieving 'net zero' carbon emissions by 2050 it emerged the much teased clean, green replacement for gas boilers as our main source of domestic heating is to be heat pumps. The Daily Stirrer counters the pseudo-scientific bollocks and reveals this 'new technology has been around for a hundred years.

Extinction Rebellion Wants To Destroy Civilization, Not Just Fossil Fuels
Readers may find it hard to believe but while our attention has been focused on the coronavirus pandemic, other things have been happening. Recently the eco - crusties of EkSTIMKtion Rebellion have elbowed their way back into out consciousness and now, with Antifa and Black Lives Matter, form an unholy trinity of Marxist seditionist groups intent not only on destroying capitalism but destroying civilisation ...

Worst polluting coal and wood fires banned in fight to cut emissions
Domestic coal and certain types of wood are to be banned from sale from next year in a bid to cut air pollution, ministers will announce on Friday.

Is Hatred Of Greta Thunberg Justified?
As the backlash against the Greta Thunberg cult gathers momentum a lot of lefties are asking why the little Climate Warriorette is so hated by so many people. As usual with the left, they are asking the wrong question. Just as they asked, “Why can’t you believe the scientists, when in fact not only is it always legitimate (and scientific,) to question and challenge scientific theory, so it is perfectly rational and logical to challenge the Cult of Saint Greta ....

Ruling Elites support Extinction Rebellion plan for Marxist world to ‘fight climate change’
Climate change: Electrical industry’s ‘dirty secret’ boosts warming
Scaremongering IPCC Pushes Climate Hysteria with New Doomsday Report

Does Hausfrau - Volksfuhrer Merkel's Open Border Policy Break The Law

Opposition to the government of anti - European Islamophiliac German leader Angela Merkel is growing in Germany (Image source)

Back in October we reported that a group of concerned German citizens had launched a bid to impeach the German Chancellor Angela Merkel because her 'open doors' immigration policy and insistence that Germany should admit without question and welcome every person who arrives in the country without valid travel documents. Merkel's efforts to make German's change they lifestyle, and German women change the way they dress because some long established European traditions 'insult Islam' have gone down like a lead Zepplin too.

Since then the immigrant crisis in Germany has worsened and the mass rape and sexual assault of German women by Muslim males from north Africa and the middle east in Cologne and other cities at New Year have made the public mood very ugly and may prove to be a turning point in the efforts of European ruling elites to impose Islamic culture on secular and Christian nations.

In yesterday's news we learned that not only are more organisations calling for Merkel's impeachment and removal from office, but that a German federal judge has declared the increasingly dictatorial chancellor's immigration policy unlawful.

In a thread on that story and the anti social behaviour of Koranderthal immigrants Merkel's government has allowed to flood into Germany (which we will report fully later,) I found this little gem by a commenter using the name Dexy:

The nazi in her commie cape
Cried: My, don't I look splendid!
Hitler's joke and Marx's jape,
So skilfully I've blended.
Through ruthless robbery and rape,
All good folk I've offended.
But I'll sell 'em all to the mozlem ape
Before the year is ended.

Very funny, though I'm sure lefties will insist that Hitler, who called his party The German National Socialist Worker Party was not a socialist because socialists are cuddle and egalitarian. Poor lefties, they've never read any history, only propaganda, and thus are ignorant of the similarities between Hitler's regime ans those of Joe Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, Fidel Castro and Pol Pot.







RELATED POSTS:
Latest Fashion Trend: European Women in Hijab
Europe's Immigration Crisis (October / November / December 2015)

Mainstram Media Finally wake Up To Migrant Crisis

In a move that will leave many of its shocked and disoriented, The Sun, the tabloid of tits and trivia today woke up to the immigration crisis that is threatening the social stability of European nations and reported some real news.

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]... [ Ian's Authorsden Pages ]... [Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Original Boggart Blog] ... [ Authorsden blog ]

Cookie Dough Can Exoplodes In Woman's Vagina

NB: We cannot vouch for the reliability of our source on this story ...

The Pilsbury Doughboy. Not as scary as The StayPuft Marshmallow man but all the same you would not want him exploding inside you. (Image source)

A report coming in from North Carolina, USA, shows what a lot of bollocks the news of economic recovery we in the west are fed really is. Here is a story of a woman who was so hard up she shoved a can of dough up her chuff so her family could eat. And that terrorist loving, warmongering idiot Obama tells his country the economy is doing well and the USA can afford to wage wars on every little country that pisses him off? Don't believe it, Americans are starving. People are desperate (you have to be desperate to steal cookie dough, if someone can't afford to steal a family size pizza or Lasagne they are trult below the poverty line.

The 34-year-old mother of 3 is now under arrest after an alleged shoplifting incident turned tragic. Witnesses say Shatuanee Greene entered the North Carolina Walmart on Sunday with her three children ages 5, 7, and 8 when she grabbed a can of pre-made Christmas cookie dough. CCTV footage shows the young mother take the can to the toy aisle as her children crowded around her. Greene then lifted up her skirt and made the can of cookie dough “disappear.”

When Greene was approached by Walmart security, she told her children to go find their Aunt in the front of the store. “I told her to hand over the cookie dough,” said Timothy Reiner, a security guard at Walmart. “That’s when she turned around to run and I grabbed her by the arm. She put up a good fight, and that’s when I tackled her to the ground. Then I heard a loud pop and the lady started screaming. Gooey cookie dough was running down her leg. All hot and runny… it was so damn gross.”

According to eyewitnesses, the EMT that treated Greene on the scene said the Pillsbury cookie dough can exploded in Greene’s vagina during the fall causing her extreme pain. They removed the contents at the scene. The woman was treated then released into the custody of Greenville police. A police spokesperson said, "Greene told us she had just wanted to make some anchovy flavoured cookies for the kids dinner."

Read the full, gross out story of the coookie dough thief at: Now8News.com

RELATED POSTS:
MAIN TAGS: bizarre >> humor >> satire
Back to Contents table


Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]... [ Ian's Authorsden Pages ]... [Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Original Boggart Blog]

Saudi Millionaire Who ‘Accidentally Tripped And Penetrated Teen’ Cleared Of Rape

Eshan Abdulaziz, often falls and lands with his penis inside youg women. 'Every Muslim man knows one of the reasons we tolerate women is so that we have somewhere soft to land when we fall, he told Boggart abroad

A court in London court has aquitted a rich Saudi Arabian businessman of raping an 18-year-old girl as she slept. Lawyers for Ehsan Abdulaziz told the jury that he accidentally tripped and landed on the bed where she was sleeping in such a way that his penis, which happened to be erect and had accidentally escaped from his pajama pants, accidentally slipped inside her vagina.

“I fell down but nothing ever happened, between me and this girl nothing ever happened” Abdulaziz , 46, told the court when cross examined.

The businessman, who is married and has a child, invited two women back to his flat after a night out. He had paid £1,000 for a private table in a nightclub and promised to drive the two women home in his Aston Martin sports car. Instead of taking the both women to their separate homes, he took both back to his apartment in an upmarket area of West London, where he offered them vodka before taking the older one, aged 24, into his bedroom for sex.

He told the court he had lived in London for twenty years but had never before had a one-night stand (we guess he means hired a prostitute). Talking about the friend who he slept with, he said: “She’s a very sweet girl, a very nice girl, I see her quite often, I see these girls, they go out quite often.”

The teenagee, who fell asleep on the sofa, claimed she woke in the early hours of the morning to find Mr. Abdulaziz on top of her, with his penis inside her.

Jonathan Davies, for the prosecution, told the court: “She said, ‘what are you doing?’ he said ‘it’s fine’ indicating that her friend was asleep. She got up to find her friend, tried to wake her but couldn’t, she then tried to get out of the flat as quickly as she could.

“She was very upset about what had happened to her and because she couldn’t wake her friend, she called two friends, she then called the police.”

Mr. Abdulaziz had said, “She’ll have to prove it”, when he was arrested, according to newspaper reports.

He argued before the court that the woman had pulled him down towards her, and traces of his DNA could have been found in her vagina because of the fall. Well it could happen to anyone I suppose, we all fall and land with our penis inside a total stranger from time to time don't we?

Defence lawyers, citing numerous precedents in which Muslim men who raped under age British girls in Oxford, Birmingham, Reading, Rochdale and Nottingham were not prosecuted because multiculturalism, argued that Abdulaziz could not be guilty because his skin is darker that that of his alleged victim.

“I’m fragile, I fell down but nothing ever happened, between me and this girl nothing ever happened”.

RELATED POSTS:
MAIN TAGS: Bizarre >> sex >> satire
Back to Contents table

Muslim Rape Gang Victim Talks: Girls Still Targeted Because Police Refuse to Act

Muslim men who groomed and violently abused young girls in a quiet English town have been left to carry on raping girls, despite being named to the police, one of their victims has revealed in an interview. Kaitlyn (not her real name) suffered years of abuse at the hands of hundreds of men in her home town, and in locations across the UK. Yet despite handing a list of more than 80 names to the police for investigation, her attackers are still working as taxi drivers, businessmen, and even on the local council.

Brazilian Pastor Arrested For Convincing Followers His Penis Contained Holy Milk

Can Muslim Culture Ever Integrete With Tolerant Western Socities?
Rape Horror In Swedish Muslim Ghetto

Sexual abuse of white girls by Muslims common in Britain
Rothrham abuse case: where it all started
Immigrant rapes

Afghan Migrants Abducted Woman And Gang Raped Her for a Week

EU Report Reveals Continent Being Changed By Migration
Merkel Hit By German Citizens Backlash As Her Anti - German, Pro - Immigration Policy Indtroduces Violence, Rape and Third World Lawlessness To Germny's Muslim Ghettos
Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]... [ Ian's Authorsden Pages ]... [Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Original Boggart Blog]

And Now For Something Completely Different

Blogging here for the past couple of months has been pretty bleak as events in Syria, Turkey andthe middle east have dominated the news. But the season to be jolly is almost upon us and it's time we all had a laugh, well all of us except the guy in this story:

Alligator Eats Florida Burglary Suspect Hiding From Cops

Never smile at a Crocodile (the picture is fake I'm assured) (Source)

Down in Florida, ABC 13 news reports, police have concluded that a man suspected of burglary and on the run from officers escaped justice in a rather novel way.

Matthew Riggins, 22, alleged to have been responsible for a string of burglaries in Brevard County in November 2015 was spotted with a likely accomplice by police officers on the morning of 13 November, but the crooks escaped on foot and hid in a swamp. Officers who set off in pursuit failed to find them

Police searching the area later reported hearing yelling but were unable to determine the source as night had fallen. Ten days later, human remain, identified by DNA tests as having once been attached to Riggins were found floating in Barefoot Bay lake.

Divers sent to recover the remains encountered an 11-foot alligator which had shreds of human flesh (later proved to be a DNA match with the bits of Riggins the 'gator had not swallowed) behaved aggressively towards them (or perhaps mistook them for the next meal). Florida authorities called sent an Alligator to capture the creature. Official reports say it was shot. Sources with the state police department say it was recruited and given the rank 'Termigator'.

A coroners report concluded Riggins was attacked by the 11-foot gator while hiding from authorities in the 'gator infested lake and recorded a verdict of death by stupidity.


RELATED POSTS:

Back to Contents table


Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]... [ Ian's Authorsden Pages ]... [Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Original Boggart Blog]

Autumn Gets More Interesting As Merkel Admits She May Have Caused New Balkans War.

The autumn of 2015 has been interesting with the escalation of the war against ISIS by Russian air Force jets and Iranian ground troops in Syria and Iraq, Europe's migrant crisis pushing prosperous north European nations towards civil unrest, and the downing of a Russian airliner over Sinai by as yet unknown causes though western intelligence reports suggest a terrorist bomb was planted on board before take off.

And it is set to get more interesting.

Border Security staff erect a fence in Hungary (source: Financial Times)

Merkel admits she may have just caused a second Balkans war

Hausfrau Volksfuhrer Angela Merkel admitted in a speech yesterday that reversal of her open doors immigration policy or going back on her pledge that all the world's three billion poor and disadvantaged people were welcome in Germany (she might not have used those exact words) may cause another war in the Balkans. Since not only federal German state, Bavaria but Hungary, Austria and, Croatia and Slovenia are rushing to erect razor wire barriers along their their borders before 2016 to stem the flood of illegal immigrants crossing europe's outer borders every day, Merkel's admission is an overdue acceptance of her role in causing an imminent second Balkans war. Is it now too late to avert such a disaster adding to Europes many problems?

Economic migrants housed in the UK military base in Cyprus, meanwhile, imagined they could blackmail the UK into giving them fast-track entry into Britain, were told to eff off and threw a hissy fit, burning the tents supplied by the UK authorities yesterday as the base commanders stood firm and reiterated the choices on offer: claiming asylum in Cyprus, or being returning them to the Lebanon. One even pretended to hang himself yesterday - but in a carefully non lethal way and very theatrically for news cameras.

These poor, victimised refugees and asylum seekers are suffering from a shortage of dead infants, crying babies and doe - eyed teenage beauties who can cry at will, all of which are essential to attract the attention of news crews. We hear that the annual Pusey Bear schlockfest is to carry a special appeal from the Cyprus refugees for donations of unwanted babies, dead infants or doe eyed teenage girls (cute kittens and sad looking puppies will also be acceptable.

The United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) is reported to have responded to a wave of criticism over mismanagement and squandering funds by headhunting a New York PR firm to 're image' the organisation; the contract could include a multi-million pound TV ad campaign together with celebrity endorsements for the embattled Agency's senior managers.

Merkel is also beginning to realise that with France's precipitous economic decline into sick man of the Eurozone status, only Germany and the UK are rich enough to subsidise the rest of Europe - and if we leave, Germany will have to pick up the tab alone. Given the scores of billions at stake, expect a covert onslaught of secretly funded publicity from Berlin for the 'stay' campaign - and explicit support for Cameron from Merkel, for as long as she remains in power.

Winter is set to be even more interesting ...

RELATED POSTS:

Immigration - Europe's burden
Immigration: the plight of the Mediterranean boat people
Is Sweden's immigration policy national suicide
Immigration: there is no promised land
Immigration marginalising the white working classes
The impact of immigration on hospitals and schools
Germany's Immigration Crisis
Latest Posts

Merkel Hit By German Citizens Backlash As Her Anti - German, Pro - Immigration Policy Indtroduces Violence, Rape and Third World Lawlessness To Germny's Muslim Ghettos

As the lawless criminal scum imported by Merkel in her efforts to suck up to Obama threaten to turn Germany into a third world human cespit, it seems public opinion in European is waking up.

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

Hillary Clinton Supporting Feminists Demand Sharia Law For USA

How the Sharia Religious Police punish a woman who disobeys her husband. Yes she is buried up to her neck, and yes those are the stones that were thrown at her head.(Image source)

On a scale of 'completely and utterly idiotic' to 'brain dead' how stupid are American liberals, particularly the female ones? Who would think anybody who supports gender and racial quality and is repulsed by systems that enshrine the oppression of women by men and make it a criminal offence punishable by public stoning or whipping for women to ..... well do anything that resembles fun, without the permission of their husband or father.

Yet some of the feminist supporters of the Democratic Party Presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton (who is qualified for the job of running the world's most powerful nation by virtue of having been married to a previous President - still that's more relevant experience than Obama brought to the role,), shown in the video below have been getting their tits out in support of their demand that Islamic Sharia law be recognised in the USA.

You don't actually see any bared tits in the video, it being a clip from a mainstream news channel, but you do see the beyond stupid supporters of Hillary's run, dutifully agreeing that America needs sharia law even though it would mean homosexuality, sex before or outside marriage and most or the 'rights' of women and gays won by equal rights campaigners would become criminalised.

This video is frightening. OK we know that such reports are edited and people who knew what Sharia law is about or asked for more information before offering an opinion would not make the cut, but that these young women don't even know what Sharia law is, but they bob their heads in unison, as ready to worship The blessed Hillary (The Butcher Of Benghazi) as they were to follow The Obamessiah speaks volumes about why the USA is in such deep shit as a nation.

Don't the silly tarts know that under Sharia law, a woman who shows her tits in a bikini or cutaway T shirt (or even goes out in public with her hair uncovered) is looking to be stoned to death.

The really frightening thing however is idiots like these have a vote in a democratic election.



RELATED POSTS:

Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

Putin Isolated? What about his new best mates France and Germany

Putin, Holland, Merkel - No Obama or Cameron, wassup? (image source)

Last summer I had a bit of a kerfuffle here with someone who tried to give himself authority by mentioning that he worked in a university. Well lots of people work in universities of course, janiors, mainteance staff, gardeners, porters, catering people and so on.

Given the knack this guy possessed for being wrong about everything he could have been a lecturer, or even a Professor, he was certainly crazy enough.

What I had done to piss him off was see the brewing Black Sea crisis from a Russian point of view rather than simply parroting the White House / Whitehall / NATO propaganda demonising Putin and Russia and claiming Russia was isolated in the international community and the leaders of all other nations were queuing up to have their cock's sucked by the Rent Boy President Barack Husein Obama.

It wasn't true then and it is less true now. While it might seem obvious to note that Angela Merkel has chosen to pass on that dubious privilege, the absence of China, Iran and half the African nations from the Obama fan club is also signigicant.

Since the election of Syriza last week Greece has pivoted towards Russia, Egypt, Turkey, India and Brazil have all been cuddling the bear too.

Isolated, I think not. In fact it seems our friend from Dumedown University is the last one to wake up to the fact that Obama's US Administration is the real warmonger, the aggressor state, the power that likes to meddle in the domestic politics of small nations.

And now we see France and Germany openly dismissive of Obama's eagerness to arm the neo Nazi thugs who were shoehorned into power in Ukraine after last years CIA engineered coup.

Well here's something to help him get a better grip on reality.

Caption Contest: "Isolated" Russia Edition

Following yesterday's summary of the utter farce that the Minsk Summit/Ukraine "peace" deal talks have become, the various parties involved appear to be fracturing even faster today. The headlines are coming thick and fast but most prescient appears to be: Despite John Kerry's denial of any split between Germany and US over arms deliveries to Ukraine, German Foreign Minister Steinmeier slammed Washington's strategy for being "not just risky but counterproductive."

But perhaps most significantly is France's continued apparent pivot towards Russia... Following Francois Hollande's calls for greater autonomy for Eastern Ukraine, former French President Nicolas Sarkozy has come out in apparent support of Russia (and specifically against the US), "we are part of a common civilization with Russia,” adding, "the interests of the Americans with the Russians are not the interests of Europe and Russia."

Even NATO appears to have given up hope of peace as Stoltenberg's statements show little optimism and the decision by Cyprus to allow Russia to use its soil for military facilities suggests all is not at all well in the European 'union'.

With France pivoting and Merkel turning her back on Obama's arms-for-Ukraine proposals, perhaps Vladimir Putin can be forgiven for an impromptu exhibition of "jazz hands" at yesterday's Minsk Summit preparations...


RELATED POSTS:
American dollar being dumped as world turns on bully superstate
America's failure of leadership point to global conflict
America's Empire collapsing
Europe and America - parting of ways
Europe unglued
NWO plan to annex Ukraine
Obama and Putin. Balls Out boys
Obama and Putin square up over petrodollar
Ukraine coup engineered by American agents

Bring Back Our Hummer, ISIS Mocks Obamas’ ‘Hashtag Diplomacy’

The ISIS forces fighting for the cause of an Islamic caliphate in Iraq and Syria are being demonised by western mainstream media but reports say people living in the occupied areas of iraq are quite comfortable with the new rulers, and the mocking by ISIS of Barack and Michelle Obama’s hashtag diplomacy shows they have a sense of humour.

Read the full post on Barry and Michelle’s hashtag diplomacy and lots more irreverent, politically incorrect and gleefully evil satirical posts at our long running home Boggart Blog. Everybody is fair game, we do not discriminate on grounds of colour, ethnic origin, religion, sexual orientation or social status, if you’re in the news, you’re in our sights.

Bring Back Our Hummer, ISIS Mocks Obamas’ ‘Hashtag Diplomacy’

Labour’s bacon Sandwich Fail Show They Are Unfit To Govern

Some people might think Boggart Blog has the same style of rabid hatred for all Labour politicians and Labour supporters and lefties reserve for Michael Gove.
WRONG! All politicians are wankers and Labour politicians tend to be more hypocritical than others, and are actually posher and more elitist than Conservatives, Lib Dems and UKIPpers but one should hate them all equally, not for who they are but for what they represent.
Sadly the leftist mindset is not up to the job of multitasking so hatred as to be directed at specific things, Gove, The Daily Mail, Rupert Murdoch and Jeremy Clarkson are all objects of left wing hate.
[ ... ]
Take for your example the infamous bacon sandwich incident on the day before the European elections. Warned that Labour were losing votes to UKIP because working class people felt the party was elitist and out of touch, some out of touch elitist in the Labour Public Relations team decided Ed, who is not religious but is Jewish all the same, should be pictured eating a working class breakfast, a bacon sandwich.
Read all
Labour’s bacon Sandwich Fail Show They Are Unfit To Govern RELATED POSTS:

UK General Election, 2015: David Cameron Hugged A Hoodie but Nobody Wants To Hug A Tory.
So far, no matter what the political leaders do, the public are not responding to electioneering. The biggest losers from this disengagement with establishment politics are likely to be David Cameron's Conservatives who ned a five point lead over Labour to be un with a chance. So are the polls being distorted by the UKIP effect or is something more significant going on?

The Party Of Working People


RELATED POSTS:
AFTER DEFEAT IN THE GENERAL ELECTION lABOUR HAVE LEARNED NOTHING AND ARE EVEN MORE UNFIT TO GOVERN

Labour Leadeship Contest, Corbyn Comedy Caper

When Labour elected Ed Miliband as their leader in 2010 it was clear the party had a death wish. The 'broad church' Prime Minister Harold Wilson spoke of in the 1960s, the alliance of intellectuals and socially conservative industrial workers who made up the party's core vote managed to coexist. Then came feminism, politically correct thinking, New Labour factions as the party started to tear itself apart. It looks as if we are in the endgame.

Miss Whiplash Call Girl Agency Owner has compromising picture of Cameron and Osborned, People's voice alleges

David Icke's People's Voice internet radio and television channel has quite an exclusive on another massive cover up my the media and the establishment of a scandal that should have derailed the careers of several top politicians long ago.
The allegations of senior members of the coalition government having been involved in activities involving drugs, prostitutes, gay sado masochism and sniffing bicycle seats while members of the elitist Bullingdon Club at Oxfor University should have been enough to consign them to obscurity. But the new ruling elite seem to think such degeneracy is a qualification for leadership.

Read all and see video of People's Voice contributor Sonia Poulton interviewing "Miss Whiplash" Natalie Rowe. 

 The Daily Stirrer - coalition politicians whiplash injury

Global Warming Was A Money Making Scam - But Is Global Cooling A Serious Threat?

We would love to say that for years we were the lone voice of sanity crying out against the climate change madness, but the truth is that despite all that "the science is settled" bullshit there were always armies of ethical researchers, environmentalists and media commentator who saw the tax raising scam for what it was. Now the AGW scaremongers are in full retreat and every week new evidence of their fraud emerges.

The latest has been the extent of Arctic ice which we were told would disappear completely by 2012. Well in case you hadn't noticed, last year was 2012 and the Arctic ice sheet staged a modest recovery. And this year it has expanded with a vengence.

Read full article:
Global Warming Was A Money Making Scam - But Is Global Cooling A Serious Threat?

RELATED POSTS:

Back to Contents table

Global Warming Is Not Causing Any Polar Ice Cap Meltdown Says NASA

Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog]

UK Politicians Expenses Scandal

The most hilarious political scandal in years is the Expenses scandal currently responsible for meltdown of the British political system with the Government in total disarray and the opposition parties not much better.

Read the funniest reportin, opinion and comment by following links below.

From A Bag O’Shite To A Chandelier And Back. by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-12 – 16:57:01
Yesterday’s report on the Bag O’Shite MPs’ expenses scandal concluded with the promise we would bring you further and even more astounding revelations about the bizarre expenses claims made by Members of Parliament.

Today we honour our promise.

Sir Michael Spicer (Con, Rawtenborough South) successfully claimed the cost of having a chandelier hung at his Manor House which he insists is his second home despite its having been in the family...
CLICK HERE to read full post From A Bag O’Shite To A Chandelier And Back



UK Politicians Expenses Scandal Gives Glimpse Of What's To Come
Democracy is being strangled, it seems, by self interest and misplaced loyalties. Only months after the Blagojevic pay-for-power scandal and President Obama's own difficulty in finding people who were not crooks to fill various cabinet positions and other offices in his administration, we now have in Britain the budding scandal of Members of Parliament fiddling...
CLICK HERE to read full post UK Politicians Expenses Scandal




Lib Dems Expenses Claims Fail To Impress.

The fervid anticipation preceding the release of Liberal Democrats dodgy expenses claims turned into a sense of disappointment today as the embarrassing items we had hoped to see were absent. Where, for example, were the invoices for 5000 gallon tankers of Vodka delivered to Charlie Kennedy’s second home or the bill for supply of intravenous drip equipment so the former leaders could stay topped up while paralytic?
CLICK HERE to read full post Lib Dems Expenses Claims Fail To Impress.


Senior Conservative Claims Dog Food On Expenses. by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-11 – 18:15:50
The details of MP’s dodgy expenses claims continue to land on the Boggart Blog News Desk 24 hours a day. Our reporters are on round the clock alert to bring you up to the minute information. The latest expose we hear...
CLICK HERE to read full post Senior Conservative Claims Dog Food On Expenses.


Forget Pork Barrels, this is bag o’shite politics. by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-11 – 16:59:45
While we all sit back to watch the news and enjoy the witch hunt of Labour ministers over their eccies, from Jaqui Smith’s 89p bath plug to Barbara Follet’s £25k of security, we should not overlook some of the bizarre items that are turning up in Conservative MP’s claims...
CLICK HERE to read full post Forget Pork Barrels, this is bag o’shite politics.


Also check out these Greeneeth Multi Media pages:
The Daily Stirrer Hard hitting opinion and comment from the people who brought you Little Nicky Machiavelli.

Boggart Blog Central The main clearing house for Boggart Blog articles from the UK and world editions of what is probably the web's funniest satirical blog/

Squirrel Terror Squad

The hunt for the terrorists who didn't blow up ten jet airliners with two bottles of gatorade or even try to bring down a 747 with an underwear bomb but only succeed in blowing their own bollocks off, but are know to have tufty ears and fluffy tails has centred on a wood in High Wycombe, UK. Police will not say what they hope to find in the stretch of woodland for fear of compromising the investigation.

Squirrel Shit of Mass Destruction is what they are going to find of course.

Spiritual Squirrels

No time for a proper blog today so here's a joke someone sent me.

There were five country churches in a small Texas town;
the Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church, and the Jewish Synagogue. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were
not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But the Catholic Church came up with what was thought to be the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue but they took one squirrel and performed a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

High Flyin' Squirrels

by fatsally @ 2009-06-30 – 13:01:08

Cleo Hart tells us of the wallabies high on opium, but what are the sqirrels doing these days?
I don't know if anyone else has noticed but they do seem to be falling out of their trees onto busy roads rather a lot lately.
There were at least six on a two mile stretch of the A628 this morning. And they didn't appear to be squashed.
I suppose there could be some vigilantes cruising up and down the road, armed with air rifles taking pot-shots at the little buggers, but I don't really think that's the case.
Or perhaps the squirrels that don't make the leap from the trees on one side to the trees on the other are inferior in some way.
Seconds squirrels.
Myopic, dodgy knees, clawless.
A demonstration of Darwinism at work.
On the other hand, it's not that long ago that some walkers noticed a bit of a funny whiff in the air as they walked down a lane from the main road.
Police were called in and they found a substantial mound of marijuana plants dumped in a field...

"Wagwan! Rusty, how you goin'?"

"Hey Tufty, look what I've found.
A whole load of shit, man!
Give me a hand and we'll drag a couple of these plants back to the tree.
Wow, we is going to have us a good time!
Man!"

"Wow, like, crazy, man.
We gonna dry it or are we jus' gonna chew it?
It sure do smell good."

"Well I think we ought to test it out y'know.
Make sure it's okay.
Then we can sell it on to the brothers at, like, a few acorns a gram.
Hee hee, we is gonna be two rich squirrels."

Later....

"Oh, man, Tuft, this is just soooo gooood."

"Too right,Rustman, this stuff gives you wings.."

"Hey yeah, just like those flyin' squirrels man..."

"Yeah, flying squirrels.... I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

"Yo, man, I'm flyin... hey look at me fly... I'm flyinnnnnn..."
Thwack.

"Aw shit man, it look like you come down to earth with a bump. Watch meeee..."
Thwack.

Later still.

"Shame old Tuft and Rusty bought it. Funny how they both fell out of a tree.
Still best get on and clean out their nest.
Hmmm, wonder what this is, smells a bit funny.
Maybe it's one of those exotic herbs, they were into all that stuff, liked to spice up the acorn cutlet.
I'll just take some home and try it out, maybe put some on those old horse chestnuts..."

RELATED POSTS:

Back to Contents table

Drunken Moose
They're big, they're short sighted and they are inclined to turn nasty when they've had a drink. Drivers in Gothenburg were terrorised by a drunken moose blocking the road and challenging Volvos to "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough.

Getting Shrew Arsed Again
The Malayan Tree Shrew is not an agresive drunk but they are pissed for much of the time and they fall out of their tree a lot. You might find one sleeping it off in your hair.

Grey and White Peril
They're the chavs of the animal kingdom, aggressive, destructive and in your neighbourhood. ASBS for badgers have proved worthless as a deterrent, they tend to regard the punishment as a status symbol.

Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

Blair's Last Audience

It is well known that H M Queen Elizabeth II, in common with other members of Britain's Royal family did not much like Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair. Whether it is true or not that she thought him an arse licking snivelling, slimy little git we shall never know, but ir is well know that Blair, more than any Prime Minister before him was as much in awe of rank and status as he was of power and money.

So you may form your own conclusions.

This post is for those of you who have wondered what was said between Blair and The Queen at their last weekly audience. If you find those stiffly formal official press releases unconvincing, click the LINK below to read an unofficial transcript of what was really said:

BLAIRS LAST AUDIENCE (audio file)

The Real Queen's Speech

by Jenny Greenteeth

The following text is a transcript of the final meeting between Prime Minister Tony Blair and HM The Queen befoire Blair left office. The way our voice to text interpreter has rendered Her Maj's mangled vowels is enough proof of its authenticity we think.

The Real Queens Speech
by Ian R Thorpe
2007-11-06
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: government,parliament, royal, royalty, queen, speech, state, humour, humor, satire, blog,boggart-blog, greenteeth

The Queen’s speech shown on television and in news bulletins is, like most things in politics, a fake. The Houses of Parliament is a set left over from those dramas Ian Richardson starred in, the MPs and Lords are extras – did you not notice someone looking suspiciously like Ricky Gervais trying to get in shot? And everybody knows the Queen is played by Helen Mirren.

There is a real Queen’s speech of course, but the Government in its wisdon decided a long time ago that us ordinary punters cannot cope with the reality of politics so its contents are kept from us. Soft Mick, the Boggart Blog invisible reporter managed to get into the House of Lords this year and send video of the proceedings to BBC Reporter’s mobile phone. So here, exclusive to Boggart Blof is The Real Queens Speech.

MY LORDS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HONOURABLE MEMBERS, THE QUEENS SPEECH.

Loyal subjects, mai Government and Ay hev pleasure in in annincing our plans for the coming year. Main Government intends to press ahead with its praygramme to make Britain the only European (hack – phut) Nation to obtain one hundred par cent of its electricity from wind. New technology to harness fart power will be unveiled earleah in 2008. All reseairch into anti – obesity dregs will be suspended as people who are too fat to wipe hev huge potential sources as sources of renewable enairgeah.

My government will continue with its praygramme of taxing the pooah in order to reward the rich who give far more moneagh to politicians. Furtheagh more... oh poo, do I hev to say all this shite? who writes this nonsense. Renewable energeagh, tax cuts, its the same evereagh yeah and nothing changes. If this is mai Government like what it is supposed to be, I want something done abite the ban on fox hunting. And I don’t want that miserable fakker Brine as Prime Ministair, I quaite liked Bleagh, his ears were rartheagh amusing, they took on a life of their own when he became excited. But Brine is miserable, he hates Corgis and his wife does not hev a comedy mithe.

Nigh Ay’m the Queen and ay do not care for the way things are being done. Fairstleah, Ay want a proper Prime Ministair who owns a Grise Moor. We have not had a grice moor owning Prime Ministair since Lord Hume. It was traditional then that after ay got this poxy Queen’s Speech job, which I realleagh hate, ite of the way every year, the Prime Ministair would invite one’s husband and one to his grise moor for a few days shooting. It made all this worthwhile. Young Cameron has potential and he looks laike the right sort of fellow, I imagine somebody in his famileagh owns a grise moor. So in the coming year mai government will introduce a law banning anybodaigh who does not own a grise moor from becoming Prime Ministair. Then Ay shall sack all you commoners and hold an election in which the boy Cameron and his chums have all the votes.

Once we hev a Prime Ministair who owns a grise moor my government will repeal the legislation that bans foxhunting. Its jolly undemocratic you know, not one of my family agreed with it so how did it become law. Where is the democraseagh in that? I know a lot of you think foxes are rather cute and cuddly, so from consideration for your feelings we tried hunting chavs but they are neither so quick nor cunning as foxes. Nobody complained but it was just not the same.

Finally, we shall encourage servility. Now that the service industry is the largest source of employment again it is time the pooah we reminded of their obligation to be servile. Forelock tugging will be de-rigeur and talking back to one’s betters will be a capital offence. We shall also revive for Corporate CEOs the Droit de Siegneur, Primae Noctis. The CEO of aneagh corporation worth more than ten billion pinds will hev the right to deflower any attractive totty to join his organisation on the evening of the day she starts work. Our entrepreneurs must be given incentives if the nation is top prospair.

Raight, that’s it, you can all fack orf, I’m gaying hame to watch Helen Mirren doing the official version of this to see what bullshit my loyal servants have cooked up for the punters this yeagh.

RELATED POSTS:
Black Racists Slam Lack of ‘Diversity’ in Dictionary of People who Shaped Britain
The Queen's Speech (review) The Return Of Freedom?
Blair's Last Audience With The Queen
Inspirational Old Queen. The Dear Old Queen Mother Could Drink For England
The Queen's Birthday ( play Audio )
Queen Vic's Knicks Go To Auction

DeadHamsterPhone - the latest Must Have...

Hamster Phone - not quite as we imagined but close

I guess you would have to be some kind of idiot genius to buy a dead hamster thinking it was a 3G phone movie player, internet access, a million ring tones and various hands free, ears free, brain free gizmos. But there's a small time criminal down in South Wales currently looking for such a punter.

So how did this crim. come to confuse such a phone with a dead hamster? Well the hamster was all packed up in a nice Eriksson box on the back seat of a parked car.

The hamster's owner is understandably distraught and is getting grief counselling because having been unable to bury his pet he needs to find closure so he can move on.

I can't help thinking however the dead hamster thief could be a struggling taxidermist looking for a way to boost trade. After all a hamster is just the right size to have a modern cellphone inserted in its furry little tummy and what better way to preserve the memory of a beloved pet could there be?

So if you are down in South Wales and you see people walking along the street chatting into a hamster's arse you will know what's going on.

RELATED POSTS:
Tagged with Pets


Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #5 (adult humour)

This 7 part  parody really has to be read in order [1] ... [2] ... [3] ... [4]...5 ... [Next]

Hormones are rampant at Swimemole Academy for chav wizards. Garry Trotter finds his fascination with Briony's bumps is leading him to take too many risks ...

 

At last Garry had managed to get Briony alone. "Hi Bri," he said, blushing deeply, "I - er - I - er - I sneaked into Wiz - Mart yesterday and got you something. Er - some special soap, not that you whiff or anything but - er - but - er - but I know girls like that sort of thing and - er - you take a lot of showers so I thought you would like some magic soap. When you are in the shower you just say blither - blather - let's have lather and the soap levitates and rubs itself all over you. Smells nice too."

Briony sniffed the bar of soap that Garry was holding towards her. "Mmm, lavender and dragonmusk, my favourite. Thank you Garry, that's sweet of you. I'll use it today, perhaps it will keep the ghost heavy - breather away."

"The what?"

"There's a ghost in the girls shower. I can hear him breathing somewhere above me. I'm going to complain to Prof. Philtre."

"Yeah you should," Garry mumbled and hurried off.

As the bell rang to signal the end of lessons later that afternoon the boy wizard raced upstairs, changed out of classroom clothes into his swimming shorts and then he put on his cloak of invisibility. Carefully he crept out of his room, down the stairs and along the dormitory corridors to the girls showers. It would have been disastrous to bump into anybody but he made it, let himself into the shower room and just had time to take up position in Briony's favoured cubicle before she arrived and started to undress. As she took off her shirt and singlet, revealing the pert breasts he could not suppress a gasp of delight. Briony looked upwards , slightly apprehensive as Garry though what a good word "pert" was. He had learned it from one of his muggle books. Muggles had some great names for dirty stuff.

Now Briony was taking off her skirt and panties. At last he had a close up view of the Portal of Pleasure. It was a bit disappointing really, just a triangle of hair. He had expected something so magical to shimmer or change shape or do something though he did not know what.

The naked girl stepped towards him, this was the moment. Garry had a sudden impulse to run away but there could be no getting past Briony without being noticed. Then she turned on the shower, let the warm water run over her for a few seconds and said " blither - blather - let's have lather."

Again Garry wished he had not done this. He hesitated and the wet girl repeated the phrase. Excitement, fear, confusion and a host of other emotions paralysed him for a second.

"Useless soap," Briony said, reaching out. In a panic Garry grabbed the soap, lifted it and started to rub it on the naked skin that was only inches from him. He soon overcame his nervousness and got more enthusiastic about his task.

"Soap, I don't think we need quite so much lather there." The soap moved away from those oh so desirable breasts and a few seconds later moved again in response to "nor down there thank you."

When all the great masses of bubbles had been rinsed away and Briony had towelled herself dry she looked up at the ceiling again and said, "you're just getting too forward Mister. I'm going to have you exorcised."
"A dirty old man ghost?" said Prof Philtre, "are you sure someone was not playing a trick? Ghosts do not generally have a libido, of if they do it is reserved for ladies of negotiable affection who have been dead for several hundred years. Now tell me about this soap Trotter gave you."

Briony handed over the perfectly ordinary muggle soap and told the teacher how if you said blither - blather - let's have lather, it levitated and washed you.

"Smells fishy to me," the professor of potions said.

"That's probably because it spent too long around you - know - where," said Briony. "That was what made me suspicious."

"I think you were right to be suspicious," the professor said, "but I really do not think the culprit is a randy ghost. Do you mind leaving this with me?"

WILL HARRY BE FOUND OUT AND EXPELLED FROM SWINEMOLES OR WILL HE MANAGE TO TRICK HIS WAY OUT OF ANOTHER DODGY SITUATION. YOU CAN FIND OUT TOMORROW.