Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Michael Cohen and Inspector Clouseau: Separated At Birth>

Top of the news for many of us this week has been the Trump 'Stormy Daniels hush money' trial in which former US President Donal J Trump is charged with false accounting, apparently because one of Trump's book keepers entered a payment made to bent lawyer Michael Cohen as being for legal expenses when the payment was in fact for ......... ahem .......... legal expenses.

Cohen (pictured below) has been in the witness box most of the week, evading questions and telling lies as one might expect from a man already doing jail time for perjury.

Every time I saw his face in a photograph or video clip this annoying feeling that I recognised him from somewhere would bug me for hours. Where did I recognise that face from?
Then it struck me, he featured in the famous Fart In The Lift scene from the Blake Edwards comedy Revenge Of The Pink Panther (watch the full clip)


Try to convince me it isn't the same guy.



Coronavirus: Something To Make Us Smile
Most of us are confused about the rules we’re supposed to follow during lockdown, and no one more so that the thick, blundering plod who seem to think they should be arresting people for buying non essential stuff like food, roughing up people who are sitting in their gardens, or kicking front doors down and busting up illicit social gatherings of one person sitting alone in his house. So here is a concise summary of the rules, which makes what you can and can’t do clear as mud

Germany’s Official State TV Channel Cheers Coronavirus For Killing Old People
Trawling around the weirder fringes of the web, as we bloggers and cyberjournalists are sometimes obliged to if we want to bring you the news the mainstream will not report, one occasionally comes across something important but disturbing – like being brought face – to – face with how sick and warped the far left ecopsychos really are. Take a sketch recently broadcast as part of a satirical show the title of which translates as Bohemian Browser Ballet, shown by German state broadcaster ARD.

Roald Dahl Rewritten By Woke Censors
The kerfuffle this week triggered by a 'woke' publisher's decision to censor the works of Roald Dahl, whose titles, including Matilda, The Witches, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, James and The Giant Peach and The Twits along with many others have been loved by children since the 1950s. By removng many words which the 'woke' brigade consider 'insensitive' but are often important for their onomatopoeic value, the humourless, killjoy censors have also spoiled ...

Facebook Blocking Magazine Cover Making Fun Of Joe Biden, Triggers Free Speech Row
>As if intent on giving the finger to critics who have attacked its political bias and blatant interference in political matters, and to show that rebranding as META was nothing but a cynical PR exercise, Social Media giant FACEBOOK has once again upset Free Speech advocated by blocking an advert satirising Joe Biden in a depiction of a magazine cover.

A Fairer Format for TV election debatesFaced with the prospect of Jeremy or BoJo I have been following the TV debates and political programs, Question Time, Andrew Marr etc.
Having listened intently to a wide range of our politicians I would like to share my ideas on how political discussion and debate should be formatted in future.

Lord’ Sugar Sugar called ‘racist’ for Senegal World Cup team tweet (but it was funny)

Alan Sugar (one of Blair's dodgy 'lords' and front man of the UK version of ‘The Apprentice’ TV show, has come in for a shitstorm of criticism online after tweeting a typical market traders gag about the Senegal World Cup team. Sugar posted a photoshopped image of the Senegal players standing over a row fake designer sunglasses and handbags and gave it the caption “I recognise some of these guys ...”

The Children From Hell
Children are like farts, your own aren't so bad but anyone else's are horrible." How many times has that been said by people in my age group I wonder.

A Couple of Smiles Before It Gets Even More Painful
Almost at the end of a month of bad and sad news; Iraq, Afghanistan, the Financial Markets, the environment and the death of Desert Orchid being just a few topics, its nice to hear something jolly.

For the sake of balance in the political debate I'd like to offer a few reminders of why Boris is the most popular politician in Britain and who, alongside Nigel Farage, he inspired the people of Britain to stand up to the emotional bullying of the Politically Correct Though Police by voting LEAVE and thus save Europe from tyranny for the FOURTH time in two hundred years. Over to Boris at his most diplomatic:

Cookie Dough Can Exoplodes In Woman's Vagina
Here is a story of a woman who was so hard up she shoved a can of dough up her chuff so her family could eat. And that terrorist loving, warmongering idiot Obama tells his country the economy is doing well and the USA can afford to wage wars on every little country that pisses him off? Don't believe it, Americans are starving. People are desperate (you have to be desperate to steal cookie dough, if someone can't afford to steal a family size pizza or Lasagne they are trult below the poverty line.

A Seasonal Miracle
South African Mr. (got that, Mr.) Charles Sibindana has been fined ZA$140 for making a fraudulent claim for sick pay. Mr. Sibindana submitted a certificate from his wife’s gynaecologist to back up ... >

The Lazy Pupil's Examination Aid.
In my school days, admittedly more years ago than I care to remember, trying to justify the non - delivery of homework projects with the excuse "please Sir, the dog ate it," was not exactly fresh and original but [ ... ] Now of course, in an era of mass communication and advanced technology it is a tired and lame excuse used as a last resort only by the terminally dull - witted. Family pets have advanced in status so much they can actually make a positive contribution to academic achievement ...

Personal Irritation Claims - Professional claims service
OMFG, we've had about ten calls yesterday and today about personal injury claims, mis - selling, unfair treatment at work, medical negligence, you name is, a bunch of shyster lawyers want to sue someone on your behalf for it.

Evolution: Theory, Fact or Fiasco?
Much as I have faith in Charles Darwin's Theory Of Evolution as a feasible explanation of how diverse species originate (The Origin Of The Species) it annoys me when science fans insist "Evolution is not a theory, its a fact." Especially annoying of course is when they cite evolution to explain the origin of life on earth or the development of human intelligence. Even more annoying is their assumption that anyone questioning them is a young Earth creationist. Here are a few thoughts on some of evolution theory's inconsistencies ...

You Know You Live In A Country Run By Idiots If ...
We all know our countries are run by idiots, but how do we prove it? One way is to observe someone and record how many times they do something that will undo something else they just did. Here are some examples:

The Duchess Of Kate Baby Referendum Scam Exposed
... in walk the three stooges, Cameron, Clegg and Miliband. "Look Kate old girl," they say, "there's a bit of a constitutional crisis heading our way over this Scottish referendum whatsit. We've been too complacent and the plebs up there in chilly Jockoland have got wind we've been keeping schtumm about ...