Boggart Abroad: 2008

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Olympic Humour at Boggart Blog - Britain's top comedy blog

Boggart Blog's best posts so far on the Olympic insanity.

Olympic synchronized diving proves it is possible for men to give themselves BJs (Image source)

The news from The Olympic Games as been providing the Boggart Bloggers with most of their material for the past few days. Check out our main blog, greenteeth.blog.co.uk for all the posts. Here are a few links to the stuff we found most amusing.

Britain won its first medal in the cycling road race, an event not lacking comic potential as it was held in a torrential downpour.

Controversy raged in the swimming arena over full length super slick body suits made of low friction material to reduce swimmer's drag effect through the water. We wanted to know what is wrong with the old back, crack and sack wax and what the official view on gimp masks was. Not quite in the Olympic spirit but there you go. We never suggested we are a politically correct publication.

Disaster for Britain's medal hopes in the water. After double triumph, in the cycling and thewomen's 400meters freestyle in the main pool our synchronized diving team blew... no - not each other, settle down at the back; blew their chance of a medal by having a row just before their final dive. 14 y.o. prodigy Thomas Daley threw a hissy fit when his 26 year old diving partner took a call from his Mum, poolside, on his cellphone. They boy apparently said, "How can you talk to your Mother? Parents never understand anything. What we want to know though is WTF is Synchronised Diving doing as an Olympic sport.

Biggest controversy of the Olympic pageant so far (well the drug test results have not started coming in yet) was the lip synching scandal at the opening ceremony.Seems like a lot of fuss about nothing, we say if its good enough for Madonna and The Spice Gilrs its good enough for the Olympic Games

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Denying Lesbian Couples IVF Treatment Will Lead To More Pub Closures

All this week the issues surrounding human fertility and embryos, including stem cell research and abortion have been debated by out elected representatives. This has thrown up more potential for humour than any other topic I can remember. Take this clause on the availability of IVF treatment for lesbian couples.

Former conservative leader and front runner in the race to be the baldest politician in Britain, Ian Duncan Smith who is perhaps even better known because his initials are almost the same as an embarrassing medical problem has put himself back in the news. He thinks children need fathers and so has tabled an amendment to the Human Embryo and Fertilisation Bill requiring that fertility clinics be prevented from offering IVF treatment to lesbian couples who want to have a baby.

"Girls brought up by a traditional heterosexual couple are less likely to become pregnant in their teens because they learn from their fathers it is possible to have a loving relationship with a man without sex being involved," IDS said while speaking in support of his amendment. poor chap, he has never really been in touch with what is going on in the world and has obviously not heard about the bloke with in Austria who kept his daughter as a sex slave for thirty years.

Enough of poking fun at the ineptitude of former politicians though. You want to hear about pub closures.

Another Conservative, John Bercow, who does not belong to the party’s Not In My Back Yard tendency probably because he spends most of his time at his second home, a small farm in the country, and so does not care what is going on in his backyard, had this to say:
"I know of a lesbian couple who went to a clinic to ask about IVF and were told to go to a pub and find a man."

This demonstrates how important it is to grant lesbian couples access to IVF treatment as once in order to save the livelihoods of many pub landlords. What man in his right mind would want to drink in a pub if he was in constant fear of being molested by rampant lesbians intent on extracting a sperm sample.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Recommended reads:

MPs wrestle with embryology bill
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/2008/05/embryology_bill.html

They think its all over - well Obama does anyway
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/michael_tomasky/2008/05/they_think_its_all_over.html

Would you credit it? (credit crunch)http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/edward_pearce/2008/05/would_you_credit_it.html

The uses of unreason:
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/andrew_brown/2008/05/the_uses_of_unreason.htmlAndrew
Andrew Brown argues that logic and reason are not enough to save the planet, we need a quasi religious sense of community.

Creationism in US High Schoolshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/21/creationism-in-us-high-sc_n_102853.html

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Cheaper Drugs Now

Cheaper drugs now! David Threlfall as waster Frank Gallagher in the original UK comedy drama Shamesless

Regulators are increasingly concerned about the availability of cheap, unlicensed drugs from websites. Anyone who has an e-mail account will be sick of sales pitches for cheap off-prescription viagra replicas (which, we are reliably informed, taste like blue Tic Tac mints) and bigger dick pills.

These are harmless enough. The latest worry concerns the appearance in spam campaigns of ads for a miracle drugs, the makers of which claim it will cure cancer, Delhi belly, athlete’s foot, tennis elbow and any inclinations to vote for John McCain or Boris Johnson.
“Self medication should not be encouraged in any circumstances,” a spokesperson told Boggart Blog.

We disagree. Web pharmacists may have hit on a way to cure not only the aforementioned diseases plus preventing random attacks of nurdling, prestadigitation of the hypophothomus and addiction to Rick Astley, but also all the ills of the NHS.

Allowing patients to self medicate is a stroke of genius even though unlicensed drugs may trigger a stroke of another kind. Self medication will reduce the workload, achieve instant cost cuts and if enough patients manage to give themselves lethal overdoses, enable hospitals to hit their targets on shortening waiting lists.

Compare to that the medical objections seem like self interest. Millions of people have been self medicating for years and they are not dead.
What do doctors have against death anyway? They behave as if dying is some kind of crime yet if we consider a future of rising inflation, an increasingly hostile climate, food shortages, house repossessions, old age, decrepitude and higher taxes, death starts to look like an attractive lifestyle option.

Governments of the market forces tendency come to power by promising freedom of choice yet in recent years they have taken away our freedom to smoke ourselves to death, made it more expensive to drink ourselves to death, lectured us on the irresponsibility of eating ourselves to death or starving ourselves to death and now they want to deny us the right to self medicate ourselves with unlicensed and untested drugs.
What kind of democracy is that eh? Where is the freedom of choice?

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First Post: Sweet and Sour, The Miracle Berry
Way back in the 1970s in Africa a berry was discovered that while having little food value in itself had a property that fooled the taste buds into interpreting bitter or bland tastes as sweet. The berry was tested, found to be safe, economical to farm and it did what it said on the box. The active ingredient was isolated, extracted and was all set to be launched as a product. Then a number of very strange things happened culminating in the withdrawal of licenses granted by the U.S. food and drug administration (FDA).
In the light of the current obesity pandemic the berry would be of enormous value. So why can we find out little about it, in whose interests is it to keep this potential life savers out of the public domain. We don't think you will need three guesses.

Ebola and the Absent “Humanitarians”

When the FUKUS axis leaders, France, United Kingdom and the Unites States of America were calling for approval to intervene in Libya, Yemen, Syria and Ukraine, they justified their lust for war by claiming that bombing the crap out of those counties was necessary on humanitarian grounds. And the member of the FUKUS axis and their allies spent billions of $£€ on humanitarian bombs that wreaked hiumanitarian havoc among the innocent poor and middle class citizens of those nations. Now they have work out their 'The Jihad Is Coming' scare but have a new weapon Ebola ...

Why Does The US Government Hold A Patent On The Ebola Virus? Just Askin'

The outbreak of Ebola fever in west Africa has been making headlines since January this year, but as usual we are only being told half the story by mainstream media. It took a lot of digging by myself and colleagues in the blogosphere to dig up this pile of dirt which suggests the "new strain" of Ebola faver that has killed far more people than previous outbreaks may have resulted from attempts to weaponise the virus. And guess which national government is allegedly responsible.

A Message For Nanny State

Nanny State is on the warpath, admonishing finger wagging furiously, lips compressed into a thin line, she is launching another determined effort to make sure we are all too scared to think for ourselves or make our own choices, Nanny is now warning, with the usual threats of early and painful death is we disobey, that we should ...

What are US biowar researchers doing in the Ebola zone?

What are US biowar researchers doing in the Ebola zone? That is a question being asked around the cyberosphere as the Ebola outbreak in Africa continues to spread and alarm grows in the western nations. The Tulane University researchers [and colleagues] in the US biowarfare research community, have been operating in West Africa for some time. What exactly have they been doing? Exactly what diagnostic tests have they been performing on citizens of Sierra Leone?

Real People Are Dying because Drug Companies Publish Fake Statistics

Our National Health Service is run by big Pharma for Big Pharma. The drug companies have the politicians, civil servants, medical professions and media in their pockets. We have reported on how Big Pharma money has corrupted healthcare before and the criminality of the corporate enterpises whose aim is to make us all patients for life. Now we throw more light on the way these crooks and liars work

CDC Admits as Many as 30 Million Americans Could be at Risk for Cancer Due to Polio Vaccine

Vaccine, that great profit driver for the pharmaceutical corporations, are under the spotlight again. This time it is a link between polio vaccine and cancer which makers and medical science has denied for fifty years that has finally been admitted by the US Centre for Disease control. How ironic they have owned up just weelks after the Obama administration granted Pharma corporations immunity from legal actions.

Sodium Bicarbonate: Can something so mundane really cure cancer and treat diabetes?

A cure for cancer has been the holy grail of medical research for decades. Or perhaps it would be truer to say a treatment for cancer that is moderately effective for patients and highly effective as a profit driver for the healthcare indusry. Because reports keep emerging that a simple, effective and cheap has been suppress by big business and scientists for a long time now

Prominent Oncologists says Expensive Cancer Thrapies Are About Profit Not Cures

Prominent Oncologists says Expensive Cancer Thrapies Are About Profit Not Cures

Tullio Simoncini (1951) is a doctor based in Rome who specialises in oncology, diabetology and in metabolic disorders (cancer research and treatments to us laymen). Dr. Simoncini has a track record for opposing the type of intellectual conformity demanded by the academic community and enforced by the media, which, he says, is often based on suppositions without foundation or worse, on lies and falsities.

Statins? Our Welfare Or Corporate Profits, Which Side Is Medical Science On?

The propaganda aimed at convincing us that if we throw enough money at medical science the boffins can provide drugs to prevent death is not about the greatest good of the greatest number, it is about corporate profit and political power. The latest scam is to swing public opinion into accepting mass medication with drugs most do not need. It is just a scam to sell a drug the scientists and manufacturers know is no good.

Science for Sale, Autism, VCaccines And Government Intervention

The propaganda aimed at convincing us medical science can provide a vaccine to immunise us against death is not about the greatest good of the greatest number, it is about corporate profit and political power. But not all scientists can bee bought. Here is one vaccine specialist who won his personal battle, the wider war goes on.