The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant. - Maximilien Robespierre.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Oo-er missis; its the tree hugging cannibals

In last night's episode of Torchwood (yes, I like Torchwood, after a dodgy first episode it has me suspending disbelief with great enthusiasm) the story was set around a remote farm in the Brecon Beacons. The locals had a very quaint tradition. Every ten years they would round up strangers in the area and eat them (shades if I'm the only cannibal in the village there I thought.)

When the Torchwood statutory pretty girl asked the chief cannibal why they did this he replied "because it makes me happy." A chilling reminder there that among all the humandroids, shapeshifters, pan dimensional fart creatures and orgasm - eating aliens that pass through Cardiff's rip in the time - space continuum, good old human evil still has a lot to answer for.

Well that was how I saw it last night.

In this morning's paper I read that the nation's most famous tree hugger, Prince Charles, has just bought a run down farm in the Brecon Beacons.

Oo-er missis, is that coincidence or are sinister forces at work here?


Check out this poem about the consequences of messing with stuff we don't understand ...



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Sunday, November 12, 2006

I Just Met A Girl Named Maria

From time to time something happens that makes me feel I am once more young and attractive to the opposite sex. Such an instance was the e-mail I received this week from Maria. She wrote:
"Hello Mr. Thorp. I am dark hair Russian, age 26, attractive professional lady and working in marketing structure selling cosmetic (ooh that accent sends chills up and down my spine.).I read your details on world wide web and find you interesting, attractive man (Isn't she wonderful?) I am intelligent, mature woman who is ready for creating family with good man. (ah - erm, creating family? As in making babies? She obviously didn't read the bit about the vasectomy...) Even if this is not your searching for in the future it would be fine if we can meet and do friendship (friendship, bugger! I thought I'd scored) or maybe do more than just friendship (I have scored!)
Mail me,
yours with love and many kisses, (now hang on girl, we haven't been properly introduced)
Maria.
Needless to say I'm all of a flutter wondering does she have green eyes and those classic Russian cheekbones, is her accent really that cute and will the overdraft stretch to an hour of her time or just a quickie?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Lightning Exits Woman's Bottom

It must be the greatest newspaper headline of all time or the ultimate in anal eroticism and so long as there are such stories the traditional media has nothing to fear from us miserable rabble of bloggers.
But can this story from The Australian possibly be true?
Well yes, it is actual actuality actually.

Mrs Natasha Tomarovic told The Australian's reporter, "I was brushing my teeth and had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse when the bolt must have struck the building. I don't remember much else.
After treating Mrs. Tomarovic for burns to the mouth and anus a doctor said, "its a bizarre occurrence but not impossible: she was wearing rubber bath shoes at the time so instead of earthing through her feet the electricity shot out of her backside."

Its not quite the same as the sun shining out of someone's arse but is probably as near as anyone will get in this realm of reality.



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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Sewer Thing



Belgium, where the sretts are paved with ......... cast iron (image source)

The Belgian city of Charleroi has been hit by a spate of drain-cover thefts because of rising metal prices. About 70 sewer lids made from cast iron have vanished since Thursday of last week, an official at the town hall said. A 40kg sewer lid can be sold on the black market for roughly e6 (£4), the official said. "We have put pressure on resellers of metals and warned them they will be prosecuted if they are found with lid covers," he said.

As they say in my part of the world "where there's muck there's money."

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Shot Through The Foot Again

by Little Nicky Machiavelli:


American Civil War (image source)

We should never underestimate the ability of Americans to shoot themselves in the foot. The hymn chosen for yesterday's wrath laying ceremony at Ground Zero was the unsurpassably inappropriate " The Son Of God Goes Forth To War."

The lyric starts off like this:

The Son of God goes forth to war,
A kingly crown to gain,
His blood red banner streams afar,
Who follows in his train.

It then goes on in the same vein for several mote verses. Now call Little Nick an namby - pamby appeaser if you like but I would have thought that is just asking for trouble. Its a bit like slapping your enemy's face with your golve and then unzipping your pants and pissing on his boots.

So are we surprised to hear on this morning's news that the USA stands accused of faking its eforts to oppose ISIS in Syria because the real agenda all the time was to overthrow Assad, and that now ISIS fighters are firing on US non - combatant troops with weapons supplied to them by the USA?

All together now, The son of God goes off to war ....


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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Our Debt to Islam




A Zoroastrian symbol for wisdom. (source)

The extremism and religious fundamentalism we associate with Islam is quite a modern phenomenon, the religion, like Judaeism and Christianity grew out of middle eastern belief systems such as Zoroastrianism and Brahminism, although the so - called Abrahamic religions also incorporate quite a lot of Hellenic and Egyptian paganism. Untangling the development of human societies from the earliest civilisations is a complex task however. and the extremist fundamentalism of modern Muslims does not make it any easier for the western mindset to understand the Islamic point of view.

As right wing politicians and commentators ramp up the rhetoric about fundamentalist Islamic ideology and the left grow ever more desperate in their efforts to defend Muslims against accusations of brutality and medievalism, I decided that the western world forgets too easily what we have to thank for our modern civilisation. During the "dark ages" it was Christianity, not the Muslims, pagans of northern Europe or Hindus that tried to eradicate learning and knowledge and the sciences we now depend on so much were only preserved by those pagans and in the Jewish and Islamic world.

A good example is during the Crusades, the barber - surgeons who travelled with Christian armies were known as 'sawbones' because what yhey mostly did was amputate limbs that had become infected when the physician priests had treated open wounds with a poultice of dung and urine, "to draw out evil humours from the flesh" and presecribed prayer. Some of the soldiers however chose to be treated by Jewish or Muslim physicians, who would bathe an oen wound with warm wine, close it by stitching with sterilized (boiled) sinew and bind it with cloths soaked in antiseptic herbs such as lavender. The Jews and Arabs got much better results than the Christian priest physicians with their poop and piety therapy and so the barber surgeons learned the techniques, brought them to Europe and were burned or beheaded for heresy if caught using them.

Northern Europe also had healers who used similar techniques and obtained amazingly good results, from the complex surgery carried out with primitive tools and techniques by Druids, to some herbal cures used by the village 'wise women' some of which are to the present day equalling the results of Big Pharma's expensive products.

It was not just medicine and health in which the east was ahead of Christians. Mathematics, building, engineering, horticulture, astronomy and map making (geography) were fields in which they excelled.

Not that I would ever suggest the world of Islam was responsible for the development of the arts and sciences. Their contribution was that, unlike the fanatical, obsessive early Christians, they did not kill people for valuing and teaching the things we had inherited from the learned scholars of Zoroastrianism (The Magi of the New Testament), the Brahmins of India, and the aristocratic castes of Hellenic and Egyptian pagan cultures.

The scholars of the Islamic world were instrumental in preserving that knowledge and taking it forward. They were a bridge between the Magi and modern science.

Read my article Our Debt To Islam at Greenteethmm.com or at Authorsden.com


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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Ed Butt Is Back

After taking a long break from verbally nutting celebrity, political and corportate two faced bastards bastards and helping consolidate the position of my friend Little Nicky Machiavelli I, Ed Butt am back.

Chck out these stories and the accompanying comments to get a taster of what you are in for

The troubles of and teachers with boobs

Is Big Business The Baddie

You can also see more of the most irreverent, funniest writing on the web at
Machiavelli hard hitting political and social comment
Boggart Blog from the surreal to the ridiculous, you will not find a finnier blog.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Pals (In Memoriam)

Today is the 90th anniversary of the battle of the Somme in which over a million men died. My hometown, Accrington was badly affected. Young conscripts had all been assigned to the same battalion of the East Lancashire regiment and went "over the top" together. In a few minutes an entire generation of the town's men had been wiped out.

As America looks with incresing belligerence towards Iran and the slughter continues in Afghanistan and Iraq, remember with me The Accrington Pals and join the movement to stop this insanity repeating again and again.

More anti - war and anti oppression poems by Ian Thorpe
Songs of Glory
western monkeys
Afghan Woman

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The World Cup


The World Cup

Once every four years the world unites and America stands on the sidelines affecting diffident superiority but really seething because the world's premier sporting fixture is taking place (forget the Olympics, what has synchronised swimming to do with sport) and neither America's money nor military might can ensure success.

To find out more about The World Cup and why America's most gallant sportsmen and best ambassadors with once more be ignored in their own country, go to Welcome To Our World Cup

One of the great traditions of the world cup is the crappy songs supporters sing. As America does not have one of these because the American media have as usual, remained oblivious to the fact there is a world outside America, I revampred an old England song for them. check out the lyric for Vindaloo, with links to audio and video

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Before We Forget How To Be



Have you forgotten how to be? Not do, just be. We are all encouraged to identify ourselves by what we are doing but I think that's what is driving us crazy. Spirituality to be is being connected. The English writer D H Lawrence summed it up when he penned this line: Mankind needs to get back in touch with the rhythms of the universe.

before we can do that I believe we have to stop frenetically 'doing' and learn once more how to enjoy simply being. Unless we can break out of the cycle of doing we risk losing our freedom to make choices.

Read Before We Forget How To Be and maybe you will find out how to get a different perspective on life.

And as that is a tad serious by my standards why not check out What The Dickens, a surreal comedy tale in the style of Charles Dickens.

The secret of invisibility A poem about a different state of being.


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A Song Of Servitude (poem)

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