All Architects Are Twats

Liverpools's Three Graces, The Liver Building (with its two famous Liver birds), The Cunard - White Star Line building and The Liverpool Port Authority building (Image source)

In school we used to have our own version of that old northern favourite On Ilkley Moor Baht ‘At. The refrain went “All Yorkshiremen are twats, all Yorkshiremen are twats…” There is no truth in that of course, Yorkshire is full of very nice people, no more twats per thousand head of population than anywhere else. I still sing the schoolyard version, with a slightly changed lyric whenever I visit a redeveloped area in one of our major cities:

All architects are twats, all architects are twats, all arch - i - tects are twats…”

That is not true either and would have remained a little private amusement had it not become necessary to write about one modernist architect whose outstanding twattery taints all other members of his profession. Just recently a row of epic proportions has erupted between HRH The Prince of Wales, defender of all that is traditional and worthy and fuddy duddy, patron of The Village Green Preservation Society and talker to trees and Prince of Architectural Darkness, Richard Rogers

Far from preserving the village green, Rogers would like to see the few that remain covered in concrete, glass and steel.

Regular readers will know by now that Boggart Blog is no fan of Royalty. We have often said Prince Big Ears is a twat. And we all know Prince Big Ears hates modern architects. That in itself however does not mean we like modern architects any more than he does. In his latest bust up with the monstrous carbuncle merchants however he has a point.

Many modern architects share a total disregard for the aesthetic tone of the areas that will surround their buildings. Their attitude can be summed up as "we are very clever people and have lots of bits of paper to prove it, therefore we are right and nobody else's opinion is worth listening to. It is exactly the same attitude as that displayed by the boy-scientists this blog has spent so much time berating for their hubris.

The latest architectural outrage to upset our future King is a plan to plonk a modern concrete, steel and glass legoland development in the middle of elegant low rise Regency and Victorian buildings. The building of such a development borders on vandalism. The ethos of modern architecture could be "if we can't replicate the beauty of traditional developments that employ styles dating back hundreds of years we will destroy beauty and replace it with ugliness. To know this is true we only have to look at the monstrosity known as The Gherkin in London's financial district. So badly designed and ill conceived a piece of ego tripping is it, it even looks out of place and ugly among the functional tower blocks like the Stock Exchange building, the NatWest tower (now Tower 42) 99 Bishopsgate and the Heron Building.

Fans of modernism will start talking bollocks about how those of us who do not appreciate The Gherkin (aka 30, St, Mary Axe, above) do not understand the theory or philosophy behind the building and thus do not know how to look at it. But how would we look at a dog turd rolled in sequins? Modernists among literature academics queue us to praise T.S. Eliot as the man who revolutionised twentieth century poetry. If anyone dares to point out that Eliot wrote pretentious, self - indulgent shite are dismissed as not being intelligent enough to understand Eliot. It was Eliot himself who first put forward this notion, elitist twat that he was. If it takes an academic longer to explain a poem than it took you to read it, the poem is shite. Sorted. Same rules apply with architecture. If someone has to talk bollocks about theory and philosophy explain why it is the right building to stand in a certain place then it is not the right building for that place.

Not all modernism is bad. It is largely a question of personal taste but Canary Wharf, the media village in Manchester Docklands and other brownfield developments look fine, the styles of buildings don't clash and the areas are well laid out. It is when modernism intrudes in a well established area the problems start. The most avant garde of modern buildings are seldom more than an ego wank for the architect and so blending in with the surroundings is not a consideration. The architect wants to stamp his ego on the surroundings thus the more his project resembles a boil on the nose the better he likes it.

"You fuckers will remember me," is the message. This is made very clear in the petulant attitude displayed by Richard Rogers when his project was derailed. He accused Prince Charles of single handedly wrecking it. Well Charles had used his influence but don't forget Rogers and his financial backers had ridden roughshod over the objections of many residents of the areas surrounding his projected development.

Some people may remember a few years ago a plan to enhance the view of Liverpool waterfront from the south bank of the Mersey. The existing buildings that form the famous skyline of the Pier Head, The Liver Building, Cunard Line headquarters and the Liverpool Port Authority offices are three Edwardian buildings in different but complementary styles ( picture ), "the three graces" . When Liverpool was bidding to be the City of Culture a plan to add a "fourth grace" were unveiled. This in itself was crass and uncultured and showed the bureaucrats running Liverpool's bid were ignorant and uncultured. There are tree graces in classical mythology, end of story. (Right: A Liver Bird, (legend) its hard to get both into one shot

As if this faux pas was not enough of the designs submitted the favourite to be chosen was a concrete structure that looked like one of those hamburger shaped diners we see in American films and TV shows. Fortunately the people of Liverpool had to good sense to set up a public outcry and stop that scheme going ahead. That a senior architect whose training includes (allegedly) aesthetic appreciation as well as the science and technology of structural engineering could not see why such a design would never fit in with the original buildings called three graces brings to mind this:

My name is Ozymandias king of kings,
look on my works ye mighty and despair.

And look how he ended up.

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UK Politicians Expenses Scandal

The most hilarious political scandal in years is the Expenses scandal currently responsible for meltdown of the British political system with the Government in total disarray and the opposition parties not much better.

Read the funniest reportin, opinion and comment by following links below.

From A Bag O’Shite To A Chandelier And Back. by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-12 – 16:57:01
Yesterday’s report on the Bag O’Shite MPs’ expenses scandal concluded with the promise we would bring you further and even more astounding revelations about the bizarre expenses claims made by Members of Parliament.

Today we honour our promise.

Sir Michael Spicer (Con, Rawtenborough South) successfully claimed the cost of having a chandelier hung at his Manor House which he insists is his second home despite its having been in the family...
CLICK HERE to read full post From A Bag O’Shite To A Chandelier And Back



UK Politicians Expenses Scandal Gives Glimpse Of What's To Come
Democracy is being strangled, it seems, by self interest and misplaced loyalties. Only months after the Blagojevic pay-for-power scandal and President Obama's own difficulty in finding people who were not crooks to fill various cabinet positions and other offices in his administration, we now have in Britain the budding scandal of Members of Parliament fiddling...
CLICK HERE to read full post UK Politicians Expenses Scandal




Lib Dems Expenses Claims Fail To Impress.

The fervid anticipation preceding the release of Liberal Democrats dodgy expenses claims turned into a sense of disappointment today as the embarrassing items we had hoped to see were absent. Where, for example, were the invoices for 5000 gallon tankers of Vodka delivered to Charlie Kennedy’s second home or the bill for supply of intravenous drip equipment so the former leaders could stay topped up while paralytic?
CLICK HERE to read full post Lib Dems Expenses Claims Fail To Impress.


Senior Conservative Claims Dog Food On Expenses. by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-11 – 18:15:50
The details of MP’s dodgy expenses claims continue to land on the Boggart Blog News Desk 24 hours a day. Our reporters are on round the clock alert to bring you up to the minute information. The latest expose we hear...
CLICK HERE to read full post Senior Conservative Claims Dog Food On Expenses.


Forget Pork Barrels, this is bag o’shite politics. by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-11 – 16:59:45
While we all sit back to watch the news and enjoy the witch hunt of Labour ministers over their eccies, from Jaqui Smith’s 89p bath plug to Barbara Follet’s £25k of security, we should not overlook some of the bizarre items that are turning up in Conservative MP’s claims...
CLICK HERE to read full post Forget Pork Barrels, this is bag o’shite politics.


Also check out these Greeneeth Multi Media pages:
The Daily Stirrer Hard hitting opinion and comment from the people who brought you Little Nicky Machiavelli.

Boggart Blog Central The main clearing house for Boggart Blog articles from the UK and world editions of what is probably the web's funniest satirical blog/

The Daily Stirrer

Six years have passed since we started publishing The Daily Stirrer, and what started out as three old gits who did not care anymore what people thought of them and so could say what many people thought but dare not articulate in public has grown somewhat.

With about three million visitors a year we are not in the big league of alternative news sites, but we have a following and are more interested in kicking arse and povoking thought that breaking records. And the Greenteeth Multi Media empire has continued to grow of course.

Why not get to know us by exploring this site. You will find plenty of links to our other pages.

(Image source)


Five Years Ago
The Greenteeth Multi Media Empire has moved on a lot since I was last here. Check out our newest feature The Daily Stirrer a page for the most controversial opinion on the web.

Also look in on the Greenteeth portal for comedy, fiction, articles, verse and more.

Olympic Humour at Boggart Blog - Britain's top comedy blog

Boggart Blog's best posts so far on the Olympic insanity.

Olympic synchronized diving proves it is possible for men to give themselves BJs (Image source)

The news from The Olympic Games as been providing the Boggart Bloggers with most of their material for the past few days. Check out our main blog, greenteeth.blog.co.uk for all the posts. Here are a few links to the stuff we found most amusing.

Britain won its first medal in the cycling road race, an event not lacking comic potential as it was held in a torrential downpour.

Controversy raged in the swimming arena over full length super slick body suits made of low friction material to reduce swimmer's drag effect through the water. We wanted to know what is wrong with the old back, crack and sack wax and what the official view on gimp masks was. Not quite in the Olympic spirit but there you go. We never suggested we are a politically correct publication.

Disaster for Britain's medal hopes in the water. After double triumph, in the cycling and thewomen's 400meters freestyle in the main pool our synchronized diving team blew... no - not each other, settle down at the back; blew their chance of a medal by having a row just before their final dive. 14 y.o. prodigy Thomas Daley threw a hissy fit when his 26 year old diving partner took a call from his Mum, poolside, on his cellphone. They boy apparently said, "How can you talk to your Mother? Parents never understand anything. What we want to know though is WTF is Synchronised Diving doing as an Olympic sport.

Biggest controversy of the Olympic pageant so far (well the drug test results have not started coming in yet) was the lip synching scandal at the opening ceremony.Seems like a lot of fuss about nothing, we say if its good enough for Madonna and The Spice Gilrs its good enough for the Olympic Games

Denying Lesbian Couples IVF Treatment Will Lead To More Pub Closures

All this week the issues surrounding human fertility and embryos, including stem cell research and abortion have been debated by out elected representatives. This has thrown up more potential for humour than any other topic I can remember. Take this clause on the availability of IVF treatment for lesbian couples.

Former conservative leader and front runner in the race to be the baldest politician in Britain, Ian Duncan Smith who is perhaps even better known because his initials are almost the same as an embarrassing medical problem has put himself back in the news. He thinks children need fathers and so has tabled an amendment to the Human Embryo and Fertilisation Bill requiring that fertility clinics be prevented from offering IVF treatment to lesbian couples who want to have a baby.

"Girls brought up by a traditional heterosexual couple are less likely to become pregnant in their teens because they learn from their fathers it is possible to have a loving relationship with a man without sex being involved," IDS said while speaking in support of his amendment. poor chap, he has never really been in touch with what is going on in the world and has obviously not heard about the bloke with in Austria who kept his daughter as a sex slave for thirty years.

Enough of poking fun at the ineptitude of former politicians though. You want to hear about pub closures.

Another Conservative, John Bercow, who does not belong to the party’s Not In My Back Yard tendency probably because he spends most of his time at his second home, a small farm in the country, and so does not care what is going on in his backyard, had this to say:
"I know of a lesbian couple who went to a clinic to ask about IVF and were told to go to a pub and find a man."

This demonstrates how important it is to grant lesbian couples access to IVF treatment as once in order to save the livelihoods of many pub landlords. What man in his right mind would want to drink in a pub if he was in constant fear of being molested by rampant lesbians intent on extracting a sperm sample.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Recommended reads:

MPs wrestle with embryology bill
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/2008/05/embryology_bill.html

They think its all over - well Obama does anyway
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/michael_tomasky/2008/05/they_think_its_all_over.html

Would you credit it? (credit crunch)http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/edward_pearce/2008/05/would_you_credit_it.html

The uses of unreason:
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/andrew_brown/2008/05/the_uses_of_unreason.htmlAndrew
Andrew Brown argues that logic and reason are not enough to save the planet, we need a quasi religious sense of community.

Creationism in US High Schoolshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/21/creationism-in-us-high-sc_n_102853.html


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Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

Cheaper Drugs Now

Cheaper drugs now! David Threlfall as waster Frank Gallagher in the original UK comedy drama Shamesless

Regulators are increasingly concerned about the availability of cheap, unlicensed drugs from websites. Anyone who has an e-mail account will be sick of sales pitches for cheap off-prescription viagra replicas (which, we are reliably informed, taste like blue Tic Tac mints) and bigger dick pills.

These are harmless enough. The latest worry concerns the appearance in spam campaigns of ads for a miracle drugs, the makers of which claim it will cure cancer, Delhi belly, athlete’s foot, tennis elbow and any inclinations to vote for John McCain or Boris Johnson.
“Self medication should not be encouraged in any circumstances,” a spokesperson told Boggart Blog.

We disagree. Web pharmacists may have hit on a way to cure not only the aforementioned diseases plus preventing random attacks of nurdling, prestadigitation of the hypophothomus and addiction to Rick Astley, but also all the ills of the NHS.

Allowing patients to self medicate is a stroke of genius even though unlicensed drugs may trigger a stroke of another kind. Self medication will reduce the workload, achieve instant cost cuts and if enough patients manage to give themselves lethal overdoses, enable hospitals to hit their targets on shortening waiting lists.

Compare to that the medical objections seem like self interest. Millions of people have been self medicating for years and they are not dead.
What do doctors have against death anyway? They behave as if dying is some kind of crime yet if we consider a future of rising inflation, an increasingly hostile climate, food shortages, house repossessions, old age, decrepitude and higher taxes, death starts to look like an attractive lifestyle option.

Governments of the market forces tendency come to power by promising freedom of choice yet in recent years they have taken away our freedom to smoke ourselves to death, made it more expensive to drink ourselves to death, lectured us on the irresponsibility of eating ourselves to death or starving ourselves to death and now they want to deny us the right to self medicate ourselves with unlicensed and untested drugs.
What kind of democracy is that eh? Where is the freedom of choice?

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First Post: Sweet and Sour, The Miracle Berry
Way back in the 1970s in Africa a berry was discovered that while having little food value in itself had a property that fooled the taste buds into interpreting bitter or bland tastes as sweet. The berry was tested, found to be safe, economical to farm and it did what it said on the box. The active ingredient was isolated, extracted and was all set to be launched as a product. Then a number of very strange things happened culminating in the withdrawal of licenses granted by the U.S. food and drug administration (FDA).
In the light of the current obesity pandemic the berry would be of enormous value. So why can we find out little about it, in whose interests is it to keep this potential life savers out of the public domain. We don't think you will need three guesses.

Ebola and the Absent “Humanitarians”

When the FUKUS axis leaders, France, United Kingdom and the Unites States of America were calling for approval to intervene in Libya, Yemen, Syria and Ukraine, they justified their lust for war by claiming that bombing the crap out of those counties was necessary on humanitarian grounds. And the member of the FUKUS axis and their allies spent billions of $£€ on humanitarian bombs that wreaked hiumanitarian havoc among the innocent poor and middle class citizens of those nations. Now they have work out their 'The Jihad Is Coming' scare but have a new weapon Ebola ...

Why Does The US Government Hold A Patent On The Ebola Virus? Just Askin'

The outbreak of Ebola fever in west Africa has been making headlines since January this year, but as usual we are only being told half the story by mainstream media. It took a lot of digging by myself and colleagues in the blogosphere to dig up this pile of dirt which suggests the "new strain" of Ebola faver that has killed far more people than previous outbreaks may have resulted from attempts to weaponise the virus. And guess which national government is allegedly responsible.

A Message For Nanny State

Nanny State is on the warpath, admonishing finger wagging furiously, lips compressed into a thin line, she is launching another determined effort to make sure we are all too scared to think for ourselves or make our own choices, Nanny is now warning, with the usual threats of early and painful death is we disobey, that we should ...

What are US biowar researchers doing in the Ebola zone?

What are US biowar researchers doing in the Ebola zone? That is a question being asked around the cyberosphere as the Ebola outbreak in Africa continues to spread and alarm grows in the western nations. The Tulane University researchers [and colleagues] in the US biowarfare research community, have been operating in West Africa for some time. What exactly have they been doing? Exactly what diagnostic tests have they been performing on citizens of Sierra Leone?

Real People Are Dying because Drug Companies Publish Fake Statistics

Our National Health Service is run by big Pharma for Big Pharma. The drug companies have the politicians, civil servants, medical professions and media in their pockets. We have reported on how Big Pharma money has corrupted healthcare before and the criminality of the corporate enterpises whose aim is to make us all patients for life. Now we throw more light on the way these crooks and liars work

CDC Admits as Many as 30 Million Americans Could be at Risk for Cancer Due to Polio Vaccine

Vaccine, that great profit driver for the pharmaceutical corporations, are under the spotlight again. This time it is a link between polio vaccine and cancer which makers and medical science has denied for fifty years that has finally been admitted by the US Centre for Disease control. How ironic they have owned up just weelks after the Obama administration granted Pharma corporations immunity from legal actions.

Sodium Bicarbonate: Can something so mundane really cure cancer and treat diabetes?

A cure for cancer has been the holy grail of medical research for decades. Or perhaps it would be truer to say a treatment for cancer that is moderately effective for patients and highly effective as a profit driver for the healthcare indusry. Because reports keep emerging that a simple, effective and cheap has been suppress by big business and scientists for a long time now

Prominent Oncologists says Expensive Cancer Thrapies Are About Profit Not Cures

Prominent Oncologists says Expensive Cancer Thrapies Are About Profit Not Cures

Tullio Simoncini (1951) is a doctor based in Rome who specialises in oncology, diabetology and in metabolic disorders (cancer research and treatments to us laymen). Dr. Simoncini has a track record for opposing the type of intellectual conformity demanded by the academic community and enforced by the media, which, he says, is often based on suppositions without foundation or worse, on lies and falsities.

Statins? Our Welfare Or Corporate Profits, Which Side Is Medical Science On?

The propaganda aimed at convincing us that if we throw enough money at medical science the boffins can provide drugs to prevent death is not about the greatest good of the greatest number, it is about corporate profit and political power. The latest scam is to swing public opinion into accepting mass medication with drugs most do not need. It is just a scam to sell a drug the scientists and manufacturers know is no good.

Science for Sale, Autism, VCaccines And Government Intervention

The propaganda aimed at convincing us medical science can provide a vaccine to immunise us against death is not about the greatest good of the greatest number, it is about corporate profit and political power. But not all scientists can bee bought. Here is one vaccine specialist who won his personal battle, the wider war goes on.

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Last year's Class Photo

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

The Education of an Oil Reporter
Oil industry pundits are expressing shock at the seemingly unstoppable rise in the price of oil. Buy why should anybody be surprised?Chief Boggart Ian Thorpe
predicted this sequence of events five years ago. The link following takes you to his archive article: How Saddam May Yet Win The War

Eating The Amazon
How much harm is the destruction of the rainforest in order to grow food for cloned beff cattle doing to the planet. And how crazy is the intensive farming that is driving this policy?

Squirrel Terror Squad

The hunt for the terrorists who didn't blow up ten jet airliners with two bottles of gatorade or even try to bring down a 747 with an underwear bomb but only succeed in blowing their own bollocks off, but are know to have tufty ears and fluffy tails has centred on a wood in High Wycombe, UK. Police will not say what they hope to find in the stretch of woodland for fear of compromising the investigation.

Squirrel Shit of Mass Destruction is what they are going to find of course.

Spiritual Squirrels

No time for a proper blog today so here's a joke someone sent me.

There were five country churches in a small Texas town;
the Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church, and the Jewish Synagogue. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were
not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But the Catholic Church came up with what was thought to be the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue but they took one squirrel and performed a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

High Flyin' Squirrels

by fatsally @ 2009-06-30 – 13:01:08

Cleo Hart tells us of the wallabies high on opium, but what are the sqirrels doing these days?
I don't know if anyone else has noticed but they do seem to be falling out of their trees onto busy roads rather a lot lately.
There were at least six on a two mile stretch of the A628 this morning. And they didn't appear to be squashed.
I suppose there could be some vigilantes cruising up and down the road, armed with air rifles taking pot-shots at the little buggers, but I don't really think that's the case.
Or perhaps the squirrels that don't make the leap from the trees on one side to the trees on the other are inferior in some way.
Seconds squirrels.
Myopic, dodgy knees, clawless.
A demonstration of Darwinism at work.
On the other hand, it's not that long ago that some walkers noticed a bit of a funny whiff in the air as they walked down a lane from the main road.
Police were called in and they found a substantial mound of marijuana plants dumped in a field...

"Wagwan! Rusty, how you goin'?"

"Hey Tufty, look what I've found.
A whole load of shit, man!
Give me a hand and we'll drag a couple of these plants back to the tree.
Wow, we is going to have us a good time!
Man!"

"Wow, like, crazy, man.
We gonna dry it or are we jus' gonna chew it?
It sure do smell good."

"Well I think we ought to test it out y'know.
Make sure it's okay.
Then we can sell it on to the brothers at, like, a few acorns a gram.
Hee hee, we is gonna be two rich squirrels."

Later....

"Oh, man, Tuft, this is just soooo gooood."

"Too right,Rustman, this stuff gives you wings.."

"Hey yeah, just like those flyin' squirrels man..."

"Yeah, flying squirrels.... I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

"Yo, man, I'm flyin... hey look at me fly... I'm flyinnnnnn..."
Thwack.

"Aw shit man, it look like you come down to earth with a bump. Watch meeee..."
Thwack.

Later still.

"Shame old Tuft and Rusty bought it. Funny how they both fell out of a tree.
Still best get on and clean out their nest.
Hmmm, wonder what this is, smells a bit funny.
Maybe it's one of those exotic herbs, they were into all that stuff, liked to spice up the acorn cutlet.
I'll just take some home and try it out, maybe put some on those old horse chestnuts..."

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Drunken Moose
They're big, they're short sighted and they are inclined to turn nasty when they've had a drink. Drivers in Gothenburg were terrorised by a drunken moose blocking the road and challenging Volvos to "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough.

Getting Shrew Arsed Again
The Malayan Tree Shrew is not an agresive drunk but they are pissed for much of the time and they fall out of their tree a lot. You might find one sleeping it off in your hair.

Grey and White Peril
They're the chavs of the animal kingdom, aggressive, destructive and in your neighbourhood. ASBS for badgers have proved worthless as a deterrent, they tend to regard the punishment as a status symbol.

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Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

God's Shock Jock?

Those of you who read my articles or are aware of my relationship with religion of most kinds (I like Paganism and Hinduism / Buddhism) might be surprised to learn that earlier today I was guesting on a Chistian Radio show for London's Premier Radio station.

Even more strange, the producer Justin Brierley contacted me after following comment threads on some of my jousts with fundies here at Gather.

Well Justin's show "Unbelieveable" is a British production with a more moderate tone than U.S. evangelical Christianity, so after some discussion I decided the programme would be fun to do and managed to get my friend Jenni Hutchinson invited as my opponent, the Christian speaker. Did you know that satan is the Aramaic (ancient Assyrian language) word for opponent or adversary. Ha! Jenni is a little devil - she will love that.

Anyway we put together a really good programme, covering topics such as how the church may fulfil a role in modern society, the nature of faith, building bridges (we bridged the religious divide, the generation gap - Jenni is 24 I'm...not. OK, I'm yibblety-yibble. the geographical divide between north and south and the soccer supporters gap, Jenni follows high flying Arsenal, one of the big guns of European soccer - my loyalties are to lowly Accrington Stanley (the team that came back from the dead - reluctantly apparently.)

All in all we proved there can be dialogue between Christians and non believers.

It will be difficult to get the show on the air in America but there is an internet feed. Here are the details:

The programme airs at 2pm this Saturday here are the ways to listen "Live"1305, 1332, 1413 MW (Greater London) Sky Digital 0123 Virgin Media 968 Freeview 725 London DAB or online at http://www.premier.org.uk/
From (Usually) Monday you can listen to the archive edition of the programme online http://www.premier.org.uk/engine.cfm?i=680
Not of great spiritual interest to many of my gather friends maybe, as most share my attitude to organised religion, but a worthwhile demonstration of constructive dialogue between faith and non-faith, with some good points made on both sides.

OK, that's just a cynical ploy to boost the show in search engine listings of course. But you will excuse me one shameless self promotion item I'm sure. I promise to get back to more humour and controversy next time.



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The Charge Of The Anti-enlightenment Brigade
I don’t know if many of you remember London's Atheist Bus a few years ago. It toured the city bearing adverts that read: ‘There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.’ and was a great success[ ... ] this demonstrates the Sheeple - like tendencies of those who claim they have reason on their side: the religious propagandist with the sandwich board saying ‘repent, the end is nigh' was always the subject of jokes. Why do the opposing side now feel the need to parade high tech sandwich boards saying, "no need to repent, the end isn't nigh'?

Blair's Last Audience

It is well known that H M Queen Elizabeth II, in common with other members of Britain's Royal family did not much like Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair. Whether it is true or not that she thought him an arse licking snivelling, slimy little git we shall never know, but ir is well know that Blair, more than any Prime Minister before him was as much in awe of rank and status as he was of power and money.

So you may form your own conclusions.

This post is for those of you who have wondered what was said between Blair and The Queen at their last weekly audience. If you find those stiffly formal official press releases unconvincing, click the LINK below to read an unofficial transcript of what was really said:

BLAIRS LAST AUDIENCE (audio file)

The Real Queen's Speech

by Jenny Greenteeth

The following text is a transcript of the final meeting between Prime Minister Tony Blair and HM The Queen befoire Blair left office. The way our voice to text interpreter has rendered Her Maj's mangled vowels is enough proof of its authenticity we think.

The Real Queens Speech
by Ian R Thorpe
2007-11-06
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: government,parliament, royal, royalty, queen, speech, state, humour, humor, satire, blog,boggart-blog, greenteeth

The Queen’s speech shown on television and in news bulletins is, like most things in politics, a fake. The Houses of Parliament is a set left over from those dramas Ian Richardson starred in, the MPs and Lords are extras – did you not notice someone looking suspiciously like Ricky Gervais trying to get in shot? And everybody knows the Queen is played by Helen Mirren.

There is a real Queen’s speech of course, but the Government in its wisdon decided a long time ago that us ordinary punters cannot cope with the reality of politics so its contents are kept from us. Soft Mick, the Boggart Blog invisible reporter managed to get into the House of Lords this year and send video of the proceedings to BBC Reporter’s mobile phone. So here, exclusive to Boggart Blof is The Real Queens Speech.

MY LORDS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HONOURABLE MEMBERS, THE QUEENS SPEECH.

Loyal subjects, mai Government and Ay hev pleasure in in annincing our plans for the coming year. Main Government intends to press ahead with its praygramme to make Britain the only European (hack – phut) Nation to obtain one hundred par cent of its electricity from wind. New technology to harness fart power will be unveiled earleah in 2008. All reseairch into anti – obesity dregs will be suspended as people who are too fat to wipe hev huge potential sources as sources of renewable enairgeah.

My government will continue with its praygramme of taxing the pooah in order to reward the rich who give far more moneagh to politicians. Furtheagh more... oh poo, do I hev to say all this shite? who writes this nonsense. Renewable energeagh, tax cuts, its the same evereagh yeah and nothing changes. If this is mai Government like what it is supposed to be, I want something done abite the ban on fox hunting. And I don’t want that miserable fakker Brine as Prime Ministair, I quaite liked Bleagh, his ears were rartheagh amusing, they took on a life of their own when he became excited. But Brine is miserable, he hates Corgis and his wife does not hev a comedy mithe.

Nigh Ay’m the Queen and ay do not care for the way things are being done. Fairstleah, Ay want a proper Prime Ministair who owns a Grise Moor. We have not had a grice moor owning Prime Ministair since Lord Hume. It was traditional then that after ay got this poxy Queen’s Speech job, which I realleagh hate, ite of the way every year, the Prime Ministair would invite one’s husband and one to his grise moor for a few days shooting. It made all this worthwhile. Young Cameron has potential and he looks laike the right sort of fellow, I imagine somebody in his famileagh owns a grise moor. So in the coming year mai government will introduce a law banning anybodaigh who does not own a grise moor from becoming Prime Ministair. Then Ay shall sack all you commoners and hold an election in which the boy Cameron and his chums have all the votes.

Once we hev a Prime Ministair who owns a grise moor my government will repeal the legislation that bans foxhunting. Its jolly undemocratic you know, not one of my family agreed with it so how did it become law. Where is the democraseagh in that? I know a lot of you think foxes are rather cute and cuddly, so from consideration for your feelings we tried hunting chavs but they are neither so quick nor cunning as foxes. Nobody complained but it was just not the same.

Finally, we shall encourage servility. Now that the service industry is the largest source of employment again it is time the pooah we reminded of their obligation to be servile. Forelock tugging will be de-rigeur and talking back to one’s betters will be a capital offence. We shall also revive for Corporate CEOs the Droit de Siegneur, Primae Noctis. The CEO of aneagh corporation worth more than ten billion pinds will hev the right to deflower any attractive totty to join his organisation on the evening of the day she starts work. Our entrepreneurs must be given incentives if the nation is top prospair.

Raight, that’s it, you can all fack orf, I’m gaying hame to watch Helen Mirren doing the official version of this to see what bullshit my loyal servants have cooked up for the punters this yeagh.

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Bad News For Dwarf Throwers.

The killjoy army seems to be unstoppable at the moment, the Politically Correct Thought Police are everywhere.

Following news that the government plans to crackdown on "in the home drinking" because a civilised glass of wine with dinner might turn one into an alcoholic, we now learn that the government pokenoses have intervened to force the cancellation of the UK Dwarf Throwing Championship in London’s Egg club.
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Apparently there were ‘elf and safety’ concerns

(For those who don’t know, in Australian Rules dwarf throwing, dwarves clad in velcro are thrown at a felt covered board and the winner is the person whose dwarf sticks longest. The sport originated in Australia. In the UK we only invent sports that involve molesting small furry animals.) Our pictures shows an international dwarf throwing event in the UK between England and USA played under Texas / Yorkshire rules, where the thrower whose dwarf travels the greatest distance wins.

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