Friday, September 21, 2007

Squirrel Terror Squad

The hunt for the terrorists who didn't blow up ten jet airliners with two bottles of gatorade or even try to bring down a 747 with an underwear bomb but only succeed in blowing their own bollocks off, but are know to have tufty ears and fluffy tails has centred on a wood in High Wycombe, UK. Police will not say what they hope to find in the stretch of woodland for fear of compromising the investigation.

Squirrel Shit of Mass Destruction is what they are going to find of course.

Spiritual Squirrels

No time for a proper blog today so here's a joke someone sent me.

There were five country churches in a small Texas town;
the Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church, and the Jewish Synagogue. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were
not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But the Catholic Church came up with what was thought to be the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue but they took one squirrel and performed a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

High Flyin' Squirrels

by fatsally @ 2009-06-30 – 13:01:08

Cleo Hart tells us of the wallabies high on opium, but what are the sqirrels doing these days?
I don't know if anyone else has noticed but they do seem to be falling out of their trees onto busy roads rather a lot lately.
There were at least six on a two mile stretch of the A628 this morning. And they didn't appear to be squashed.
I suppose there could be some vigilantes cruising up and down the road, armed with air rifles taking pot-shots at the little buggers, but I don't really think that's the case.
Or perhaps the squirrels that don't make the leap from the trees on one side to the trees on the other are inferior in some way.
Seconds squirrels.
Myopic, dodgy knees, clawless.
A demonstration of Darwinism at work.
On the other hand, it's not that long ago that some walkers noticed a bit of a funny whiff in the air as they walked down a lane from the main road.
Police were called in and they found a substantial mound of marijuana plants dumped in a field...

"Wagwan! Rusty, how you goin'?"

"Hey Tufty, look what I've found.
A whole load of shit, man!
Give me a hand and we'll drag a couple of these plants back to the tree.
Wow, we is going to have us a good time!
Man!"

"Wow, like, crazy, man.
We gonna dry it or are we jus' gonna chew it?
It sure do smell good."

"Well I think we ought to test it out y'know.
Make sure it's okay.
Then we can sell it on to the brothers at, like, a few acorns a gram.
Hee hee, we is gonna be two rich squirrels."

Later....

"Oh, man, Tuft, this is just soooo gooood."

"Too right,Rustman, this stuff gives you wings.."

"Hey yeah, just like those flyin' squirrels man..."

"Yeah, flying squirrels.... I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

"Yo, man, I'm flyin... hey look at me fly... I'm flyinnnnnn..."
Thwack.

"Aw shit man, it look like you come down to earth with a bump. Watch meeee..."
Thwack.

Later still.

"Shame old Tuft and Rusty bought it. Funny how they both fell out of a tree.
Still best get on and clean out their nest.
Hmmm, wonder what this is, smells a bit funny.
Maybe it's one of those exotic herbs, they were into all that stuff, liked to spice up the acorn cutlet.
I'll just take some home and try it out, maybe put some on those old horse chestnuts..."

RELATED POSTS:

Back to Contents table

Drunken Moose
They're big, they're short sighted and they are inclined to turn nasty when they've had a drink. Drivers in Gothenburg were terrorised by a drunken moose blocking the road and challenging Volvos to "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough.

Getting Shrew Arsed Again
The Malayan Tree Shrew is not an agresive drunk but they are pissed for much of the time and they fall out of their tree a lot. You might find one sleeping it off in your hair.

Grey and White Peril
They're the chavs of the animal kingdom, aggressive, destructive and in your neighbourhood. ASBS for badgers have proved worthless as a deterrent, they tend to regard the punishment as a status symbol.

Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

Thursday, August 16, 2007

God's Shock Jock?

Those of you who read my articles or are aware of my relationship with religion of most kinds (I like Paganism and Hinduism / Buddhism) might be surprised to learn that earlier today I was guesting on a Chistian Radio show for London's Premier Radio station.

Even more strange, the producer Justin Brierley contacted me after following comment threads on some of my jousts with fundies here at Gather.

Well Justin's show "Unbelieveable" is a British production with a more moderate tone than U.S. evangelical Christianity, so after some discussion I decided the programme would be fun to do and managed to get my friend Jenni Hutchinson invited as my opponent, the Christian speaker. Did you know that satan is the Aramaic (ancient Assyrian language) word for opponent or adversary. Ha! Jenni is a little devil - she will love that.

Anyway we put together a really good programme, covering topics such as how the church may fulfil a role in modern society, the nature of faith, building bridges (we bridged the religious divide, the generation gap - Jenni is 24 I'm...not. OK, I'm yibblety-yibble. the geographical divide between north and south and the soccer supporters gap, Jenni follows high flying Arsenal, one of the big guns of European soccer - my loyalties are to lowly Accrington Stanley (the team that came back from the dead - reluctantly apparently.)

All in all we proved there can be dialogue between Christians and non believers.

It will be difficult to get the show on the air in America but there is an internet feed. Here are the details:

The programme airs at 2pm this Saturday here are the ways to listen "Live"1305, 1332, 1413 MW (Greater London) Sky Digital 0123 Virgin Media 968 Freeview 725 London DAB or online at http://www.premier.org.uk/
From (Usually) Monday you can listen to the archive edition of the programme online http://www.premier.org.uk/engine.cfm?i=680
Not of great spiritual interest to many of my gather friends maybe, as most share my attitude to organised religion, but a worthwhile demonstration of constructive dialogue between faith and non-faith, with some good points made on both sides.

OK, that's just a cynical ploy to boost the show in search engine listings of course. But you will excuse me one shameless self promotion item I'm sure. I promise to get back to more humour and controversy next time.

RELATED POSTS:

The Charge Of The Anti-enlightenment Brigade
I don’t know if many of you remember London's Atheist Bus a few years ago. It toured the city bearing adverts that read: ‘There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.’ and was a great success[ ... ] this demonstrates the Sheeple - like tendencies of those who claim they have reason on their side: the religious propagandist with the sandwich board saying ‘repent, the end is nigh' was always the subject of jokes. Why do the opposing side now feel the need to parade high tech sandwich boards saying, "no need to repent, the end isn't nigh'?

Monday, July 02, 2007

Blair's Last Audience

It is well known that H M Queen Elizabeth II, in common with other members of Britain's Royal family did not much like Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair. Whether it is true or not that she thought him an arse licking snivelling, slimy little git we shall never know, but ir is well know that Blair, more than any Prime Minister before him was as much in awe of rank and status as he was of power and money.

So you may form your own conclusions.

This post is for those of you who have wondered what was said between Blair and The Queen at their last weekly audience. If you find those stiffly formal official press releases unconvincing, click the LINK below to read an unofficial transcript of what was really said:

BLAIRS LAST AUDIENCE (audio file)

The Real Queen's Speech

by Jenny Greenteeth

The following text is a transcript of the final meeting between Prime Minister Tony Blair and HM The Queen befoire Blair left office. The way our voice to text interpreter has rendered Her Maj's mangled vowels is enough proof of its authenticity we think.

The Real Queens Speech
by Ian R Thorpe
2007-11-06
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: government,parliament, royal, royalty, queen, speech, state, humour, humor, satire, blog,boggart-blog, greenteeth

The Queen’s speech shown on television and in news bulletins is, like most things in politics, a fake. The Houses of Parliament is a set left over from those dramas Ian Richardson starred in, the MPs and Lords are extras – did you not notice someone looking suspiciously like Ricky Gervais trying to get in shot? And everybody knows the Queen is played by Helen Mirren.

There is a real Queen’s speech of course, but the Government in its wisdon decided a long time ago that us ordinary punters cannot cope with the reality of politics so its contents are kept from us. Soft Mick, the Boggart Blog invisible reporter managed to get into the House of Lords this year and send video of the proceedings to BBC Reporter’s mobile phone. So here, exclusive to Boggart Blof is The Real Queens Speech.

MY LORDS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HONOURABLE MEMBERS, THE QUEENS SPEECH.

Loyal subjects, mai Government and Ay hev pleasure in in annincing our plans for the coming year. Main Government intends to press ahead with its praygramme to make Britain the only European (hack – phut) Nation to obtain one hundred par cent of its electricity from wind. New technology to harness fart power will be unveiled earleah in 2008. All reseairch into anti – obesity dregs will be suspended as people who are too fat to wipe hev huge potential sources as sources of renewable enairgeah.

My government will continue with its praygramme of taxing the pooah in order to reward the rich who give far more moneagh to politicians. Furtheagh more... oh poo, do I hev to say all this shite? who writes this nonsense. Renewable energeagh, tax cuts, its the same evereagh yeah and nothing changes. If this is mai Government like what it is supposed to be, I want something done abite the ban on fox hunting. And I don’t want that miserable fakker Brine as Prime Ministair, I quaite liked Bleagh, his ears were rartheagh amusing, they took on a life of their own when he became excited. But Brine is miserable, he hates Corgis and his wife does not hev a comedy mithe.

Nigh Ay’m the Queen and ay do not care for the way things are being done. Fairstleah, Ay want a proper Prime Ministair who owns a Grise Moor. We have not had a grice moor owning Prime Ministair since Lord Hume. It was traditional then that after ay got this poxy Queen’s Speech job, which I realleagh hate, ite of the way every year, the Prime Ministair would invite one’s husband and one to his grise moor for a few days shooting. It made all this worthwhile. Young Cameron has potential and he looks laike the right sort of fellow, I imagine somebody in his famileagh owns a grise moor. So in the coming year mai government will introduce a law banning anybodaigh who does not own a grise moor from becoming Prime Ministair. Then Ay shall sack all you commoners and hold an election in which the boy Cameron and his chums have all the votes.

Once we hev a Prime Ministair who owns a grise moor my government will repeal the legislation that bans foxhunting. Its jolly undemocratic you know, not one of my family agreed with it so how did it become law. Where is the democraseagh in that? I know a lot of you think foxes are rather cute and cuddly, so from consideration for your feelings we tried hunting chavs but they are neither so quick nor cunning as foxes. Nobody complained but it was just not the same.

Finally, we shall encourage servility. Now that the service industry is the largest source of employment again it is time the pooah we reminded of their obligation to be servile. Forelock tugging will be de-rigeur and talking back to one’s betters will be a capital offence. We shall also revive for Corporate CEOs the Droit de Siegneur, Primae Noctis. The CEO of aneagh corporation worth more than ten billion pinds will hev the right to deflower any attractive totty to join his organisation on the evening of the day she starts work. Our entrepreneurs must be given incentives if the nation is top prospair.

Raight, that’s it, you can all fack orf, I’m gaying hame to watch Helen Mirren doing the official version of this to see what bullshit my loyal servants have cooked up for the punters this yeagh.

RELATED POSTS:
Black Racists Slam Lack of ‘Diversity’ in Dictionary of People who Shaped Britain
The Queen's Speech (review) The Return Of Freedom?
Blair's Last Audience With The Queen
Inspirational Old Queen. The Dear Old Queen Mother Could Drink For England
The Queen's Birthday ( play Audio )
Queen Vic's Knicks Go To Auction

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Bad News For Dwarf Throwers.

The killjoy army seems to be unstoppable at the moment, the Politically Correct Thought Police are everywhere.

Following news that the government plans to crackdown on "in the home drinking" because a civilised glass of wine with dinner might turn one into an alcoholic, we now learn that the government pokenoses have intervened to force the cancellation of the UK Dwarf Throwing Championship in London’s Egg club.
,
Apparently there were ‘elf and safety’ concerns

(For those who don’t know, in Australian Rules dwarf throwing, dwarves clad in velcro are thrown at a felt covered board and the winner is the person whose dwarf sticks longest. The sport originated in Australia. In the UK we only invent sports that involve molesting small furry animals.) Our pictures shows an international dwarf throwing event in the UK between England and USA played under Texas / Yorkshire rules, where the thrower whose dwarf travels the greatest distance wins.

RELATED POSTS:

Posts tagged with Humour, Humor
Latest Posts

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

THE THIRD WORLD WAR

This blog was posted ten years ago. How little has changed other than the labels we stick on the bad guys. As you read this blog, whenever you counter the word Iran, substitute Syria and when you read Bush, make it Obama. Round and round we go on the propaganda carousel.

A headline in one of today's papers, over a picture of an overturned and burned out tank in which six U.S. soldiers and an interpreter told us that Iran is orchestrating an offensive aimed at driving the Americans and British out of Iraq.The story that followed reported that new alliances have been forged between Sunni insurrectionists (they're not insurgents, OK, they'e bloody insurrectionists) and Shia militia, Al Quaeda terror groups and Syrian geurillas have increased the strike capabilities of the Iraqis.

This is the response to Bush's surge of course.

Loyal readers of Boggart Blog and Little Nicky Machiavelli blog will recall we predicted about a year ago that the conflict would escalate towards full scale war in late 2007 or early 2008 as defeat for the religious right in the U.S. Presidential elections started to look certain.

Earlier this year we reported that U.S. and British troops had been carrying out covert operations inside Iran with the aim of stirring up unrest.

Now our discredited and deluded politicians are trying to fool us by crying foul when the Iranians retaliate.
It is time we took to the streets to put an end to this insanity before we are counting our dead in hundreds rather than tens each week.

PALS
Song Of War

Friday, March 16, 2007

Tridentine Folly

One of Britain's Trident Submarines - a bit useless against suicide bombers on the London Underground

Whatever else we may think of recently elected Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, he has certainly livened up politics.

Last time the UK Parliament had to consider renewing the contract by which Britain agrees to pay the USA a huge sum for the privilege of being Uncle Sam's nuclear base in Europe and thus first in the firing line if anything kicks off between America and Russia, David Cameron was leader of the opposition and the traitor and war criminal Tony Blair was Prime Minister.

There was never any chance that Parliament would vote down the diktat of His Excellency Fuhrergeneralissimo, President for Eternity Blair. Presented with an opportunity to "do the right thing" the Conservatives showed, as we knew they would, that they are mealy mouthed, wet-arsed cowards who whimperingly yearn for another dominatrix to do their thinking for them.

They cite tactics as an excuse for their yellow bellied cowardice. What tactics? If Trident had been rejected (in modern warfare, against a nutter with a rucksack full of bleach and acetone on a rush hour tube train, it would be about as much use as the proverbial chocolate teapot) Blair would have faced a vote of confidence. Which he would have won.

Had that happened Blair would truly have been a lame duck Prime Minister, his political potency castrated and his legacy in ruins he would have had to stand by and watch his party polarise as the Tories did after the fall of Thatcher.

Now that would have been tactics.

Unfortunately Boy - boobs Cameron did not have the balls. Now, we are happy to say, Jeremy Corbyn does, he will oppose Trident (for the wrong reasons but a result is a result) and with the backing on SNP MPs couls severely damage Camero's credibility, if not defeat him and force a vote of confidence in the Prime Minister on this issue.

Because of intemperate remarks allegedly made on Andrew Marr’s Sunday morning television news magazine by Gen Sir Nicholas Houghton, the chief of the defence staff (“Pacifist Jezza not fit to be PM,”) a row has erupted about whether serving army officers are allowed to have an opinion.

What Houghton had actually said to Marr and realised that the senior soldier had tiptoed, not through the tlips, but through the Trident debate more deftly than print media had reported overnight.

I don’t think Sir Nick (as we should all think of him) poses any kind of threat. He seems emollient and sensibly bland; perhaps his appointment in 2013 was a reaction to his feisty predecessor, Gen Sir David (now Lord) Richards, who was inclined to launch surface to Ivory Tower missiles at government bean counters over budget cuts or David Cameron’s cadet corps’ strategic thinking.

But don’t think this sort of trouble will now melt away, for several reasons. Like most public servants, the military is pretty cross these days about the political class, Tory as well as Labour, for asking the soldiers (mostly), sailors and aircrews to do more for less, with less pay and fewer perks too. Even on Remembrance Day, it’s fair to point out that more pensioners have met an early death because of the cuts than soldiers, but their grievance is also legitimate.

So Cameron got it in the neck from Richards over Libya, as Gordon Brown and Tony Blair once did from the pyrotechnic former SAS man Lord Guthrie.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Cannabis and Common Sense

11 November, 2015

The cannabis cadeuceus (image source)

This is a story from the British courts (back in 2005), it should concern us all however. It is not particularly about the rights and wrongs of cannabis, it is about the exculsion of compassion and common sense from the legal process. When the law is managed by bureaucrats we will soon lose our freedoms. I update because only last week a similar case came before a US court, with a similarly bureaucratic and compassionless outcome.

Sixty - Eight year old Patricia Tabram of Hemshaugh, Northumbria was convicted at Carlisle Crown Court yesterday of possessing cannabis. She had admitted growing three plants in her wardrobe for self medication purposes. Mrs Tabram, who suffers from depression and arthritis mixes the dried, ground laves with various foods to lift her depression and give her respite from the chronic pain in her joints. She claims cannabis it the only therapy which works on her symptoms without causing debilitating side effects. A cup of hot chocolate containing a little cannabis gives her five hours relief from pain, the court was told.

Now this person who does not have much quality of life left nor much to look forward to in her remaining years is faced with the prospect of having to do 250 hours community service (with crippling arthritis, yeah right!) and pay £1000 legal costs. Because of the conviction her home in a sheltered unit provided by a Housing Association is also at risk.
In passing sentence Judge Barbara Forrester said she understood Mrs. Tabram only used the drug for self medication and had no intent to supply others but the law limited the scope for leniency.

It has always been a principle of Western justice since the Ancient Greeks gave us the basis of our civilisation (though it is too rarely observed in recent centuries when vengeance and retribution seem to be the only principles that matter) that justice should be tempered with compassion. If ever there was a case for a judge set a precedent in the interests of justice this was it.

Sadly, under the bureaucratic dictatorship that economic liberalism has imposed on us in the past three decades, common sense is always overridden by rules and regulations. Judges seem ever more reluctant to give verdicts that challenge a bad law because the government, which is jealous of the power of an independent judiciary, may use it as an excuse to further undermine that independence. This has led to many deplorable decisions by the dispensers of justice.

Another social commentator at an American website wrote last week of a "social recession" in the free world. It is hardly surprising. When those with the authority to do so are afraid to challenge bad laws, respect for the law breaks down. And when respect for the law breaks down we cease to be a society and become a rat pack.

Ian Thorpe at Authorsden

RELATED POSTS:
Red Meat Causes Cancer Says World Health Org. Scientists. They Are Lying Of Course

Science was ever fascism's whore; it has become a catchphrase of The Daily Stirrer over the years as week after week we report instances of scientists whoring themselves for research grants, produce results that serve the vested inerests of the organisations which provide their funding.

Simple Tips for Boosting Immunity Everyone Should be Doing To Improve Resistance Against Diseases Like Cancer.

While medical science, funded by research grants from Big Pharma and corporate health care pushes to find ever more costly (i.e. profitable) therapies for the diseses that threaten us, the body is its own best doctor, as our ancestors knew. All we need do in many cases is give it the right support.

Mother jailed for child cruelty after rejecting NHS care to seek treatment at foreign clinic for teenager’s hormone therapy

from: The Ledbury Reporter:

"A MOTHER took her daughter for medical tests for conditions she didn't have and gave her medication that would not have been prescribed by doctors in the UK, a jury has been told. Health professionals, police and social services became involved after an article written by the girl's mother was seen by her father, Worcester Crown Court heard.

NHS Money Wasting Machine And The One Budget That Is Never Cut

After the usual empty promises made at the annual conferences of the three main political parties - all three party leaders swore that only their party can save the National Heath Service (NHS) eternally a key isue in UK politics, we decided it was time our we too a close look at why NHS finances are always in a mess. We assigned the task to our team of old gits with a vast store of business experience behind them and no fears of suffering career damage as the Politically Correct Thought Police exact retribution for the crime of being 'off message'.

Evil Labour Government Helped Private Companies Profit From NHS

If you live in Heywood and Middleton and were thinking of voting for the greedy, paedophile loving, elitists' party, Labour because you have been taken in by the lies peddled at the Labour conference that the wicked Tories plan to privatize the NHS, think again.

UK Health Watchdog: Studies Show Mobile Phones Cause Brain Tumours
Over the past last two years, following publication of metastudies like World Health Organisation's International Agency For Research On Cancer report on the effects of radio frequency electromagnetic waves, there is new evidence that mobile phones use can be dangerous to our health. A less technical summary of that is available from Cancer Research UK. Wireless phones, even those DECT systems you use with your landline so you can wander around with the handset, emit radio-frequency electromagnetic fields (RF-EMFs) when in use...

India To Prosecute Bill Gates For His Vaccine Crimes

It's about time someone prosecuted him, every version of Windows has been a crime against humanity. The man who made "Not fit for purpose" marketable quality, the man who made it possible for the NSA to spy on us all, has been protected for far to long by the US Government. Someyhing to do with his father having been a director of the CIA perhaps? ...You may say that, I couldn'r possibly comment.

US Centre for Disease Control Opposes Blocking Air Travel from West Africa to Stop Ebola
Right of return and gender dimension more important than stopping spread of disease? Well that sounds about right for the admistration of The Rent Boy President. Always put acting in a politically correct way before common sense. How about this for a totally fickwitted attempt to deal with a crisis (or mayve a smart but totally evil way to create a crisis.

The science of saturated fat: A big fat surprise about nutrition?

After years of being told saturated fat is a killer and we should avoid it in favour of Big Food products that are the nearest modern chemistry can get to packaging arterial plaque, yet another scientific meta analysis shows the sat fat scare was based of fraudulent science and there is no evidence your steak is harming you.

Ebola and the Absent “Humanitarians”

When the FUKUS axis leaders, France, United Kingdom and the Unites States of America were calling for approval to intervene in Libya, Yemen, Syria and Ukraine, they justified their lust for war by claiming that bombing the crap out of those counties was necessary on humanitarian grounds. And the member of the FUKUS axis and their allies spent billions of $£€ on humanitarian bombs that wreaked hiumanitarian havoc among the innocent poor and middle class citizens of those nations. Now they have work out their 'The Jihad Is Coming' scare but have a new weapon Ebola ...

Why Does The US Government Hold A Patent On The Ebola Virus? Just Askin'

The outbreak of Ebola fever in west Africa has been making headlines since January this year, but as usual we are only being told half the story by mainstream media. It took a lot of digging by myself and colleagues in the blogosphere to dig up this pile of dirt which suggests the "new strain" of Ebola faver that has killed far more people than previous outbreaks may have resulted from attempts to weaponise the virus. And guess which national government is allegedly responsible.

A Message For Nanny State

Nanny State is on the warpath, admonishing finger wagging furiously, lips compressed into a thin line, she is launching another determined effort to make sure we are all too scared to think for ourselves or make our own choices, Nanny is now warning, with the usual threats of early and painful death is we disobey, that we should ...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

A Stick With Which To Beat Dick

by Xavier Conolly

The Carbon cucle of a tree (Image source)

Billionaire self - publicist Richard Branson has offered a $25million prize for the first scientist to come up with a machine that will suck carbon dioxide out of air.

Sorry to be the one to break the bad news folks but such a machine already exists, it called a tree and a lady named Mother Nature has been growing them for millions of years.

Ma. N. is unlikely to claim Dick’s money however, she is an old hippy and has never had any interest in money. On the up side she will be happy to keep providing us with as many tress as we need free of charge so long as we promise to stop cutting them down to make room for more houses, offices, factories, roads and shopping malls.

So the answer is simple and the Branson prize for reinventing the wheel is just another publicity stunt.
But Mother Nature is no meanie, she tells me if we all start being nicer to her she will ask her trees to provide each of us with a stick with which to beat Branson for being a Dick.

When we get down to the fine detail, the billionaires who suddenly develop an interest in saving the planet can always be linked to schemes to suck CO2 (an essential trace gas without which carbon based life forms cannot exist) out of the air, or clean up the oceans, and pocket vast profits in the process.

Electric cars are another scam that control freak technology billionaires are trying to hype as an alternative to reality:

from The Tap:
VW scandal opens up the way for electric cars.

Automobile research analyst at Bernstein Research, Max Warburton believes that the VW scandal could mark the beginning of the end for the global diesel car market, In an interview on the subject he stated that: “The move against VW is going to act as a catalyst to speed up the fall in diesel market share in Europe and halt it in the US.” Diesel cars already have a bad reputation amongst those consumers with an environmental interest, because of the high levels of emissions that they produce, and diesel cars are already around 10-15% more expensive to insure than petrol cars (with adequate car insurance coverage being a legal requirement in most markets) making them generally more expensive for consumers to run. This is devastating news for Europe, which has seen billions of euros extensively invested in diesel technology over the last decade, in a bid to find a cleaner and more environmentally friendly diesel engine. The fraudulent activity of the region’s largest manufacturer means that this money has been, effectively, wasted. No doubt because on of their biggest exports sits at the heart of the scandal, the German government has raised its concerns over the lack of regulation within the car industry, and costly new regulations are sure to be implemented in the short term.

Not the first electric car this has happened to while the batteries were charging (Image source)

The VW scandal will open nothing. The case is electric cars simply do not work adequately to be a realistic replacement for the internal combustion engine. Performance drops of quickly as the batteries discharge, the range is poor, recharging takes too long and they are too expensive to be an affordable choice for most people. And they are not clean, they simply move the pollution (far nastier stuff than CO2) away from the street to the mines, smelting plants, battery factories etc.

And as for Googles driverless joke, who would pay £20k to be ferried around in a pimped up mobility scooter that doesn’t work in bad weather. Ignore the hype, electic cars are a pipe dream.

And even if they did work you would have to prise the keys to my Alfa Romeo out of my cold, dead fingers to take that car away from me.

https://originalboggartblog.wordpress.com/2016/01/01/car-barbie-tesla-supercar-bursts-into-flames-while-charging/

RELATED POSTS:

Back to Contents table

Latest Posts

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]... [ Ian's Authorsden Pages ]... [Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Original Boggart Blog]

Friday, February 09, 2007

Cold Comforts #1 - Shepherd's Pie

I could not bear to think of my American friends shivering through another winter of arctic conditions without the comfort of some traditional dishes from the North of England. So here we go with the first of a series of recipes that add a new dimension to the phrase "hot and substantial." Now Shepherd's Pie is confusing on two counts, first it is not truly a pie, there being no pastry involved and secondly a lot of people mistake it for cottage pie (it is Shepherd's Pie if made with lamb or mutton and Cottage Pie if made with beef.

Traditional Shepherd's Pie can be bland and dull so we will be zapping this up with a few additions to the basic "school dinners" recipe.

Now, as the famous Mrs. Beeton might have said, "first catch your shepherd..."

Ingredients (to serve 6 to 8)
2 lbs. Potatoes (mashed with a little milk or butter)
1 medium onion
2 carrots
1 stick celery
1 to 1½ lbs. minced (ground?) lamb or mutton
a small clove of garlic
2 tablespoons (2 Ounces) tomato puree
equal amount of water
Salt, Black Pepper to taste
½ teaspoon each, Thyme & Cumin
A shake of Worcestershire or Soy sauce.

Method:
Heat your oven to 200 Celsius, 400 Fahrenheit

Peel, the potatoes and set them boiling. There will be plenty of time to prepare the rest prepare before they are ready to mash.

Mince or finely chop the onion, carrot and celery and gently fry them in a little of your favourite oil or fat.

Once the onion is translucent set the vegetables aside and fry the lamb with the garlic until it is brown (traditional British chefs would recommend not doing this, but if you don’t the meat will look grey and unappetising.)

When the meat is browned stir the tomato puree and Worcester / Soy sauce into the water and add it to the lamb.

Add the thyme, cumin, salt and pepper and return the vegetables to the pan.

About now the potatoes should be ready to mash with the milk and butter.

Let the meat simmer while you do that.

Put the meat and vegetables in an oval baking dish (it doesn’t have to be oval, but somehow it looks better) Now lightly spread the mashed potatoes on top and fork the surface into a "ploughed field" pattern (kids of all ages like it like that) and bake at the top of the oven for 30 minutes.

British cooking has a reputation for blandness. It was not always so - before the Protestant reformation enjoying one’s food was not considered sinful. Do not skip on frying the vegetables and meat here, it improves the flavour immensely and follows the method described in Elizabethan cookery books.

To make Cottage Pie simply substitute beef for lamb.

A very tasty vegetarian version can be made with a soya based meat substitute

Saturday, January 27, 2007

How do you stop a Rhinoceros feeling horny?

There's no stopping a horny Rhinosceros (Image source)

German animal rights activists launched a campaign against plans for a giant ferris wheel in Berlin, saying it would disturb the sex lives of rhinos in a nearby zoo.

Investors unveiled plans for a 175 metre wheel, 40 metreshigher than the London Eye, hoping to attract millions of visitors from 2008. Activists say moving lights on the wheel would disturb the
rhinos daily routine and threaten breeding.

Normally I find animal rights campaigns a bit bonkers but I'm right behind this one coz I know how I used to feel when somebody disturbed my mating rituals.

RELATED POSTS:

Latest Posts