The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant. - Maximilien Robespierre.

Showing posts with label harry potter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label harry potter. Show all posts

Sunday, January 09, 2022

UK School that ‘canceled’ JK Rowling as a role model over transgender views replaces her with ex - Olympic athlete who has even stronger views

 

Managers and senior teachers at the exclusive Boswell's School in Chelmsford, UK faced a wave of criticism after withdrawing from Harry Potter author JK Rowling the honour of having one of the school's houses named after her and have now shot themselves in the foot again by naming as Rowling's replacement a former Olympic athlete, Kelly Holmes, who won two gold medals and who has recently voiced some strong opinions on the policy of allowing formely male transgender athletes to compete in women's events, ever though the athletes involved still have their male wedding tackle.

School which ‘canceled’ JK Rowling faces new trans row over Olympian

The school came unfer fire from the trans lobby and the far left authoritarians of the woke brigage when they renames JK Rowling House as Kelly Holmes House only to learn Holmes has been branded 'trasphobic' after comments  she made about the inappropriateness of biologically male athletes who simply feel they are emotionally female being allowed to compete in top level women's events against biological women.

Rowling, one of the world's most successful authors, enraged the cancel culture mob in 2020 with tweets about the bullying, authortarian attitude of the transgender community and their supporters  when she publicly objected to use of the phrase 'people who menstruate' in place of the word 'women'.

That triggerd a tsunami of abuse with the writer being accused of hate crime and 'transphobia' and even led to the starts Harry Potter film series, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint, distancing themselves from the person responsible for making them multi - millionaires. But then it's long ben known that actors are such a pathetically needy, virtue signalling bunch of paskudniaks they are even ahead on school teachers in the race to devolve back into creatures that live under stones.

Well we will leave the Potter trio with a reminder that we have noticed none of them are getting much work these days, and focus on Boswell's school, for the sake of parents in Chelmsford and the surrounding area who migh be foolish enough to send their kids to this academy for losers. Here's a typical but of verbal diarrhea from Boswell's prospectus:

The prospectus also makes a big thing of its policy of inclusivity to provide a multi - ethnic, multi - cultural environment, and accompanies that with a lot of blether about  excellence and achievement, developing chracter and values and all the  usual schoolteacher crap. It would be impressive if they were not so keen to  show willing to sacrifce scientific fact and common sense to stave of criticism from a tiny minority of hairy - arsed, handbag swinging chicks-with-dicks. That's hardly going to encourage pupils to develop strong, independent characater and hold to positive values is it. Unless snivelling cowardice is considered a moral virtue in the 'woke' bubble of course.    

The school's replacement for Rowling, double-gold winning Olympian Kelly Holmes, was initially seen as a fireproof choice. A mixed race woman from a single parent family, Kelly had a successful military career and became a prominent athlete largely through her own determination and strength of character.

Having won an Olympic bronze medal at 1500 meters in 1996 she was kept out of the games in 2000 by a career threatening injury, but fought back to take gold in the 800m and 1500m in 2004. Since then she has devoted her life to supporting athletics and encouraging girls from poorer backgroundsd to raise their aspirations, an obvious choice of role model for any school top associate itself with one might think – but apparently not in today's insane atmosphere. The decision by Boswell's to opt for her has drawn further criticism after comments about trans athletes came to light in which Holmes described transgender people competing against women in sports as "a bloody joke".

Holmes is not alone in drawing attention to the absurdity of allowing biological males to compete against biological females. Another UK Olympic gold medallist, swimmer Sharron Davies wrote of a trans - woman weightlifter recently:

Holmes replied: "It's a bloody joke and all getting ready for biological women to boycott certain events.

Holmes reacted with pride at having a house named after her and praised Rowling as being a world-renowned author.

"I am always honored when a school names a house after me,

"I hope my name represents determination, strength in adversity and a never-give-up attitude.

"JK Rowling is a brilliant, world-renowned author and should be credited for all the good she has done in the literature world to help young people, in particular have vision, creativity, dreams and much more." the Olympic champion was quoted as saying by MailOnline. Comments under that story were overwhelmingly supportive of Holmes and Davies.

Other comments read:

"Seems like a weird decision given that Holmes has publicly stated the same views previously anyway," one wrote.

"Cancel culture at its finest. Utterly moronic and once again we see women's rights being eroded," said 

"So, following Boswells School’s decision to replace JK Rowling with Dame Kelly Holmes, it’s emerged that Dame Kelly’s trans views are even more controversial.

"She believes they should have their own separate category or even their own separate games. Couldn’t make it up," wrote a third, while another said that the situation was a stain on 'wokedom'.

"It's another side-splitter from the self cert progressive end of wokedom. It will be awkward if they can't find an admirable role model who shares their values. Doubt it will make them ponder those values, though,"

Another asked: "What are the chances of choosing two gender critical women? Anyone would think it was a generally held opinion instead of extreme bigotry."

Indeed, and one might think all those screeching accusations of "transphobia" hurled about by the woke mob when anyone tries to initiate a common sense dialogue about people who think they can become a different person simply by saying, "From now I identify as ..." are just bullying tactics aimed at shutting down discussion because they cannot offer any reasoned arguments in support of their position. 


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A group of left-wing extremists who have been active campaigners against democracy and free speech are attempting to use legal trickery to limit what newspapers report about immigration, Islam, and transgenderism. They have also been found to have successfully “bullied” business into withdrawing ads from publications that defy their diktat and published honest reports on … Continue reading 
 

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I will get hate mail now': Lord Robert Winston backs professor in trans row saying 'you can't change sex'
After making controversial comments on transgender issues during his appearance on BBC television's Question Time last night, biologist and science broadcasdter Lord Robert Winston said today he fears he will be the subject of hate attacks from trans activists and the 'woke' brigade. Winston, not for the fgirst time, publicly backed a fellow academic scientist who triggered the trans - hate mob last wek by saying people "can't change sex". Doctors Back NHS-Funded ‘Womb Transplants’ for Transgender People

Leading doctors working in the UK’s National Health Service have said they back taxpayer-funded womb transplants for biological males who identify as women and think a bit of surgery and a daily does of hormone tablets can turn them into real, child bearing women. Experts at parting the gullible and emotionally immature from their hard …

Transgenderism and The Left’s Stuggle Against Reality
‘People with penises are men’ – Lit Fic author Ian McEwan takes on The Politically Correct Though Police in the transgender debate. The much acclaimed and highly  respected British author was today facing calls to apologise to those precious little chick-with-dicks like Caitlyn Bruce Jenner after taking a sledgehammer to the politically correct left’s cause … Continue reading   

Gay Rights Lobby Calls for Ban on LGBT Therapy After Finding Hundreds of Health Workers Believe in a Cure The Daily Stirrer has noted many times that sheeple on the left of the political spectrum get very confused on finding not everybody agrees with their world view. but rather than accept they are bigots they turn on those who dissent. No surprise then that gay activist working in the NHS are turning on African, middle eastern and east Europan colleagues who believe homosexuality is a sin.

Bakery Sued For Refusing to Produce Pro-Gay Marriage Cake

A Belfast bakery has been threatened with legal action after its owners refused to accept an order for a cake with the words “support gay marriage” on it. Ashers Baking Company staff at first accepted the order but it was later reviewed by the owners who deemed the cake against their Christian beliefs.

Nonconformity and Freethinking Now Considered Mental Illnesses
We've been here before of course, shrinks and head quacks are now trying to say everything you do can be interpreted as a sign of mental illness. Its starange but the sickets, most dysfunctional people I've met have been psychatrists and psychologists - perhaps they want to make the rest of us as crazy as they are

I will get hate mail now': Lord Robert Winston backs professor in trans row saying 'you can't change sex'
After making controversial comments on transgender issues during his appearance on BBC television's Question Time last night, biologist and science broadcasdter Lord Robert Winston said today he fears he will be the subject of hate attacks from trans activists and the 'woke' brigade. Winston, not for the fgirst time, publicly backed a fellow academic scientist who triggered the trans - hate mob last wek by saying people "can't change sex".

Have You Committed Your Three Thought Crimes Today?
You're a criminal. So am I. We all are, according to some legal experts there are now so many crimes, a lot of them loosely defined, it is impossible to get through the day without committing at least three crimes. In fac it is often the case that by obeying one law you are breaking another.

Tim Stanley, Daily Telegraph, 20 September 2021:

The cultural elite says our new culture secretary is uncultured, yet I’d wager she’s the first best-selling author to hold the job, and the only one I know of to have eaten an ostrich anus on TV, which sounds positively French. The appointment of Nadine Dorries – an outspoken former nurse, businesswoman and star of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here – is not a two fingers up to the culture industry but the direction of travel. That’s what so terrifies the gatekeepers.

White Privilege Now Inculdes The Privilege Of Being Fired For being White
Its should be obvious by now that the politically correct left, insaniac sociopaths that they are, have only one emotion at their disposal; hate. Bizarrely the hatered of these predominantly white, middle class people, while of themselves, is mostly racist in nature but directed at members of their own race.

Ugly Marxist Lesbians Demand Right To Menstruate In Public
The story of the militant femists munter who ran a marathon on the first day of her 'monthlies' without using a tampon or sanitary towel (they're a sexist symbol or the oppressive patriarchy donchakow) is not new. The London Marathon was run back in April and the story of Kiran Gandhi's brave stance against male oppression (along with pitures of the dark stain speading across the croth of her leggings) was ignored by mainsteam and alternative media alike.

Social Science Degrees Make Great Leaders? More Junk Science.
We've had junk science on climate change, genetically modified seeds, many types of medicines and social engineering. The junkiest of junk science however is always commissioned by public service organisations and is aimed at convincing the public that our public servants are doing a good job. Fortunately the public are not as gullible as our leaders suppose.

Adolescent Girl Raped By 60 Men In Asian Grooming Gang
A trial jury atThe Old Bailey, London, heard yesterday the harrowing ddetails of how two schoolgirls were groomed and raped by an paedophile gang based in Aylesbury, Bucks, while aged just 12 and 13. Eleven gang members, accused of carrying out the crimes between 2006 and 2012 face 49 criminal charges between them including statutory rape, child prostitution and creating child pornography, The Daily Mirror reports.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #4

Not fan fiction but satirical parody, these posts don't make much sense unless read in order: Perevious 1 ... 2 ...3


When Don Beesley had heard of the private single room he has thrown a hissy fit. The privileges that came Garry's way simply because he was the son of someone people said would have been the greatest wizard that ever lived irritated everybody from time to time, but particularly Don because the two boy wizards were best mates and you just didn't abandon your mates.

"Remember in the first year we made a pact that we would stick together right through school, soon forgot that didn't you. We made a deal we would share a double study. Soon left me behind when you got a single because you are Humblebore's pet didn't you?"

"I'm not Humblebore's pet," Garry sounded hurt. The school and the whole world of white wizard and witching had great hopes of Garry because he had defeated Volauvent and banished him to the dark dimensions, but such a burden of expectation lay heavily on a boy's shoulders.

"Only senior get singles, you are not entitled," Don whined.

"It isn't my fault, I didn't ask for a single," Garry protested. "Anyway I wanted to know if you fancy coming up for tea and crumpets later."

"Oh yeah. Not good enough to share your room but I can come up for tea and crumpets." Don was struggling to hide the fact that he was thrilled to be asked. "Well I'll have to see if I have anything better to do. Batto Bellfry had been awfully friendly since you moved out of the dorm and he lays on cream cakes for people who go to tea."

"Don, it wasn't my idea to move to a single. Humblebore made me. Because…well because something is happening to me and it might be dangerous. And it is happening to Briony too."

"Briony, so she's going to share your room?"

Garry's magic wand filled up with cosmic energy at the thought. "No! Well nobody has said anything. I suppose they want to keep it secret."

"Humblebore's pet, nygh nygh na nygh nygh," Don mocked.

"Listen Don, I didn't want any of this. All I want is to be an ordinary boy wizard and not get noticed everywhere I go and just be able to have a laugh with my mates and play Futtox for Wyverntail house."

"No, you never asked for it Garry, but you never say no when it comes along do you? You just manipulate people coz they are useful to you, you're a user, Garry Trotter."

Garry's eyes filled up with tears as Don stomped off.

A secret is not worth having unless it is shared and Don's hostility had to be tolerated because Garry needed to share his secret with somebody. Later that afternoon Don went to the single study as arranged.

"I wanted to show you something," the boy wizard said as his friend scoffed dozens of hot buttered crumpets.
"What, something else Humblebore has given you, teachers pet."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well a user is the lowest form of friend."

"Just look at what I have to show you then and perhaps you will understand." Garry had invited Don at this for afternoon tea because it was the time Briony took her daily shower. Lessons were over and there was usually the residue of exploding toads, leaky skunks or some form of ectoplasm to be washed off. Girls were naturally more particular about this than boys.

"What is it, a new spell? Cool, is Briony coming up?"

"Briony will erm…sort of be involved…sort of."

"Sort of, you haven't made her invisible have you pig foot. You've made her invisible and you don't know how to get her back. Hahahahahaaa. We're not supposed to do invisible spells until after our AS levels Hahahahaa. The great wizard and you can't even uninvisible someone."

"Oh she will be totally visible Don, just not actually here. Look," Garry felt control shifting back his way a little as he pulled the rug aside.

Don put his eye to the knothole in the floor. "WOW, its Bri. and she's got no kit on. Is it some kind of video device? Hey, she is in the shower. Is it a 3D version of psycho. Garry! We have to help Briony, someone is going to knife her."

"She isn't in any danger," Garry said, his voice shrill with tension, "move over its my turn."

"No, I've seen the film Garry, this guy stabs her through the shower curtain."

"Don, its not a horror film, just Briony taking a shower."

"With no kit on."

"How else do you take a shower?"

"I don't think we should be watching Garry."

"You have sisters Don, what do you reckon of the way Bri. looks? Look closely around the top of her legs."

"She's… she's… yeuch, there a great big hairy wart where her twinkle should be. What is it? Is that the dark magic you were telling me about?"

"That, Don, is something muggles know more about than us. I had to go to a muggle shop to find any useful stuff about it. That is the Portal of Pleasure. Sometimes known as the Gateway to Heaven, the Delta of Venus and the Fountain of Ecstasy. Its something very special."

"Bollocks," said Don, "it looks like a Badgers arse."

Garry felt all alone and confused as he realised he could not share his amazingly brilliant plan with his best friend.

WILL GARRY'S CUNNING PLAN BRING HIM WITHIN REACH OF WHAT HE DESIRES SO MUCH. READ THE NEXT THRILLING EPISODE.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3



These stories make no sense unless you read them in order - Links to previous chapeters [#1] ... [#2]

It was almost exam time and Garry was supposed to be revising in his room. Instead of concentrating on The History of Wart Cures he was thinking about Briony and his wand was demanding attention. Throwing off his clothes Garry was about to get down to some serious work when he was distracted by a scratching, scuffing noise coming from beyond the end of the bed. Strange noises were not a strange occurrence in Swinlemoles and Garry tried to ignore it. But the noise got more persistent and was accompanied by a lot of huffing and puffing and grunting.
"What on Earth is going on?" the boy wizard asked nobody in particular and was surprised to get an answer.
"Just - puff - moving the - grunt - rung a bit Mr. - arrrrrooooogahoof - Garry," said the voice of Dobber the domestic gnome whose job was to look after the private room and its occupant.
That occupant now sat up to see what was really going on. Dobber's capacity for misunderstanding was legendary.
"Dobber, why are you moving the rug?"
"Dobber 'as found somefink what 'onerable Mr Garry will find interessin."
"Not now Dobber, I'm busy."
Dobber looked as if he was about to burst into tears. "Oh woe is Dobber, Dobber has been bad gnome and disturbed 'onerable Mr Garry just as great wizard was about to spank the monkey. But Dobber only wanted 'elp Mr Garry get a peep at Miss Briny wivvout clotheses."
"What!" said Garry, leaping forward to help the gnome. Together they pulled the rug aside and Dobber pointed proudly to a knothole in the floor and indicated that Garry should look through it. When he did so he was treated to a view of Briony naked and about to step into the shower.
Later in the girls dormitory Briony confided to Titania Hemlock that she thought there was a heavy breather ghost in the girls' showers.
It was a while before Garry understood what had been revealed. There was nothing in the school library of volumes on wizardry, witchcraft, potions and enchantments about young wizards getting hair around their private bits. Just as he was growing a patch of hair around his willie, Briony, who did not have a willie of course, sported a dark triangle at the place where her body joined her legs. Eventually Garry had had to use the Cloak of Invisibility left for him by his parents to slip out of school and into the dimension of reality. Once there he had visited a muggle shop that had the windows painted so nobody could see inside and a sign that said "Adult Book Shop" before he found anything useful.
Inside the shop were thousands of books showing male and female muggles without clothes. All of them had the strange hair that he and Briony now sported. He also noticed that the men all had moustaches. Horror of Horrors, he and Briony were turning into Muggles. They would be expelled from school and have to give back their broomsticks and get jobs in fast food restaurants. Who could possibly hate them enough to have done this.
Despite the spotty young man behind the counter becoming very panicky when he saw his stock lifting itself off the shelves, thumbing through its own pages and then disappearing as Garry slipped books that he fancied under the cloak of invisibility, nothing was done to stop him and he strolled out of the shop with a lot of valuable research material.
Later in his room Garry had time to study the literature properly. All the muggle ladies had hair, but some just had a little tuft called a Brazilian and others had narrow line called a landing strip. Garry supposed it was where muggle men tried to land their broomsticks. One woman whose pictures were in several books had a heart shaped patch of pink hair. Garry thought that was quite artistic and then decided that Briony had chosen a triangle because it was a powerful magical symbol. Briony was great at defensive magic, she would have been quick to realise something was going on and protect herself. But how could Garry ask for her help. He could not even talk to her without blushing these days. It was impossible to get near the girl wizard without feeling embarrassed so mentioning such a delicate subject was out of the question.
And then, as he studied the muggle books he though of how he had acquired them and a brilliant idea came to him.


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Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #2 (adult humour)

Garry Trotter and the Portal Of Pleasure - chapter 2


These spoofs make no sense unless you read them in order. Go to Chapter 1

A few days after the evil enchantment had fallen upon Garry Mrs Vorbis the school housekeeper was complaining to the headmaster.

"Bedsheets stuck fast together again this morning Professor. It just isn't good enough, you know how much extra laundry that sort of thing causes. Everything has to be done by hand, you have to take care with Wizard's jiz; can't just go waving a wand."

"Unfortunately that is what young Trotter has been doing."

Mrs Vorbis was one of those humourless women who did not see the funny side of anything, especially if it concerned boy's underwear or bedlinen. "I can't just go zapping semen, into another dimension you know, its not like seamen, they are always disappearing into the triangle, but semen you have to be careful with. If I was to banish wizard seed into another dimension just like that we should have hidden forests full of pregnant nymphs and fairies."

"Oh come now Mrs Vorbis," Humblebore said without thinking.

"Come now? Young Trotter has been doing enough of that for the whole school, staff included I should say."

"I merely meant to ask you to show a little tolerance. Boys will be boys."

"Not on my clean bed linen they won't. That sort of thing needs to be trodden on before it gets out of hand. We shall have pregnant fairies turning up on the Tricia show before we know where we are."

Humblebore tried to recall if he had seen a pregnant fairy on the Tricia show but could not. Jerry Springer maybe, but that was America. "I shall see Trotter today before he shoots off to Futtox practice," the Headmaster promised.

Professor Rebus Humblebore adjusted his spectacles and looked in a stern but not unkind way at Garry.

"Hmm. It seems young Trotter that you have reached a point…"

"That is SO UNFAIR! Nobody understands me, I get the blame for everything around here. You spread stories about me and make everybody hate me…"

"Trotter! That is quite enough, now as I was saying…"

"I don't care what you were saying. I don't want to listen to you, I didn't ask to come to this stupid school. Witches and Wizards, that's kids stuff."

"As I was saying Garry, we feel you have reached the point at which you might welcome the privacy of a single room."

"What? Do you think I'm Billy No Mates saddo or something? Do you think I want to sit on my own studying every night? You don't want me to have any friends, you are destroying my life."

"Now listen Garry," Humblebore said patiently, "we just want to do what is best for you. I have heard that certain things are happening that indicate you are ready for a more - er - grown up environment. At some time every young man's body begins to change, certain things happen and he gets urges that may be quite upsetting."

Garry blushed deeply. How had Humblebore known the embarrassing nature of his problem.

"I just want to stay in the dorm and be one of the chaps."

"As you wish, but if you change your mind I'll be happy to arrange a private room for you."

As Garry left the Professor sighed. Things were going to get difficult.

A few days later Garry was alone in his private room. He lay naked on top of the bedcovers, head propped up with extra pillows so that he could look down at his body which had become a source of fascination. Garry was frightened and embarrassed at what was happening to him, but also excited. Something dark and powerful had entered his life and was working its enchantment on him. His magic wand, as the Swinemoles boys liked to call their todger, was getting longer and thicker, also there was a dark smudge of curly hair growing around its base.

As he looked at his magic wand it became suffused with cosmic energy again. Absent - mindedly he began to stroke it so that it would relax, as he did so his thoughts turned to Briony.

Suddenly the school swat had ceased to be just a girl, a good sort though far more sensible than was necessary and absolutely hopeless at the school sport Futtox. Since the spell had first manifested itself Garry had started to find her interesting in different ways. He no longer wanted to talk to her about spells and potions, if fact he could hardly talk to her at all, he just blushed and got an erection. But he had started to find her interesting in strange ways and strange places. Her legs and bottom were interesting and those lumpy bits that had appeared under her sweater, they were magic. Not in the wizarding sense of course, but magic all the same.

Don Beesley said they were just two bags of sweets that Briony did not want to share. Don could be childishly idiotic at times.

Garry wondered what the things on Briony's chest were and tried to think of a way he could cop a look.
IN TOMORROW'S THRILLING INSTALMENT GARRY PUT HIS PLAN INTO ACTION AND HUMBLEBORE IS AFRAID THE BOY WIZARD IS BEING DESTROYED BY MUGGLE INFLUENCES.

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Monday, July 18, 2005

Garry Trotter And The Portal of Pleasure

Headbutt Blog's greatest scoop to date. Exclusive to Headbutt Blog, every day this week we will bring you an abridged serialisation of the seventh book in the saga of Garry Trotter - Boy Wizard. This one is called Garry Trotter And The Portal of Pleasure. Despite seven years having elapsed since Garry was first enrolled at Swinemoles City Academy for Supernatural Studies, because Wizards usually are subject to arrested development due to the fact they live for a thousand years, the hero is just experiencing puberty and embarking upon the wild adventures that brings. Now read on.

It was almost dawn of a summer day, a pale light crept through the boy's dormitory window and over the sleeping forms of the pupils. One pupil was not sleeping however. Garry Trotter opened his eyelids just enough to let in a tiny sliver of light, enough to let him look down towards his feet. Garry could not see his feet because some mysterious force was holding up his bed cover as if it were a tent.
In the pale light Garry could just make out the hands of the clock. It was four fifteen a.m. Most people would sleep for another two hours at least. Looking towards the next bed Garry was reassured to see the carroty hair of his best friend Don Beesley, the only part visible above the quilt. The whole dorm was silent and still. Garry was just about to lift up his quilt to get a better look at what was going on when a sudden noise made him duck down and pretend to be asleep.

The noise became louder and Garry lay very still, wondering if the thing under his quilt was some strange creature from another dimension or simply a magical force - field caused by his arch enemy Batto Bellfry.
The noise was very loud now and sounded like the distress call of a terminally wounded bull Buffalo.

"Heeeewwwww hna hnuzane
Hghugh guh eeeeeooooowwwwwmmm
Hhhhhyyyynnn mzgmiyappy" the noise sang

Garry heave a sigh of relief. It was only Legless Len, the Swinemoles drunken ghost trying to find his way back to his dungeon before sunrise.

"Goodnight Len," Garry called as the ghost passed his bed.

"Hnnnuggite Meestair Grrrryyyy," Len answered incoherently.

"You should keep off the spirits Len," Garry said, as he had on many other nights.

"Hohoho, kp 'ffa spiriz, hahaha, vry gd. Hahahahahohoho, spiriz." Len laughed as if it was the first time he had heard the joke, which in a manner of speaking it was as ghosts have no past or future but only now.

When Len had gone on his way Garry looked at the quilt again. It still looked like a tent. The thing had not gone. Perhaps it was a snake with rigor mortis, he thought, or somebody had left him a new wand. Most likely it was a spell gone wrong. Garry half remembered a dream about Briony, the girl who had come from a muggle family and befriended him and Don on their first day at the school. It had been a rude dream, Briony had had no clothes on. Of course, Briony was doing a project on extra sensory perception so she must have caught him dreaming about her and this was a trick to get him back.

Cautiously Garry lifted the quilt to see what Briony had done. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he let out a gasp of horror. The thing was not a creature of wizardry at all. It was him. Well, part of him even if it did look quite like a new wand. Whoever had done this to him was a very powerful wizard and obviously was on the dark side. Had Volauvent found a way back from the twelfth dimension and come looking for revenge? Garry reached down and touched the thing that had grown where his willie had been. He expected it to be rough and scaly or cold and slimy but it was warn and soft. It did not feel magical in any way, in fact it seemed to enjoy being touched. With a faraway look in his eye Garry started to stroke the thing.

Soon he was fast asleep again.

IN TOMORROW'S INSTALMENT PROF. HUMBLEBORE LEARNS OF GARRY'S AFFLICTION.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and other books
Harry Potter films
Harry Potter at Amazon