Boggart Abroad

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

WMD in Mayfair

Alexander Litvinenko - poisoned in London (Image source)

Recalling yesterday's Machiavelli Blog which commented on events surrounding the unfortunate death of the alleged former Russian agent Alexander Litvinenko, it seems the murder investigation has now found evidence of many caches (well OK, traces) of radio active toxins in various fashionable establishments in London's West End frequented by former Russian intelligence agents. Clearly Russia's oligarchs were keen to silence anyone who can dish the dirt on how they acquired their money.

Far more evidence of weapons of mass destruction has been found by fat sweaty coppers investigating the Litvinenko affair than was found in the whole of Iraq, yet the WMDs not found in Iraq were considered justification for reducing a country to rubble.

So when can we expect Obama and Cameron, successors of the Bush / Blair axis of stupidity to occupy the area of expensive shops and restaurants bounded by Oxford St., Regent St., Park Lane and Piccadilly with a view to imposing regime change? Will they launch drone strikes on fashionable restaurants or demand the removal of the tyrannical regime of London mayor Boris Johnson?

A team of comedians wanting to launch a new television comedy show, a kind of updated Monty Python's Flying Circus would have no chance of getting their work commissioned. Python is much too realistic to be considered comedy these days.

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]...[Little Nicky Machiavelli]...[Scribd]...[Wikinut] ... [ Boggart Abroad] ... [ Grenteeth Bites ] ... Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] ... [ Tumblr ] ... [ Ian at Minds ] ... [ The Origninal Boggart Blog] ... [ TSU ]

Monday, November 27, 2006

A Very Funny Blog Post

Liz Davis posted this especially for me but I had to share it, its so funny. If you're not English but know who Tony Blair is is still very funny. If you don't know who Tony Blair is, he's head of the British Government so armed with that you can still laugh at this blog. Though not perhaps as much as a British person would.

The New Union Jack

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Oo-er missis; its the tree hugging cannibals

In last night's episode of Torchwood (yes, I like Torchwood, after a dodgy first episode it has me suspending disbelief with great enthusiasm) the story was set around a remote farm in the Brecon Beacons. The locals had a very quaint tradition. Every ten years they would round up strangers in the area and eat them (shades if I'm the only cannibal in the village there I thought.)

When the Torchwood statutory pretty girl asked the chief cannibal why they did this he replied "because it makes me happy." A chilling reminder there that among all the humandroids, shapeshifters, pan dimensional fart creatures and orgasm - eating aliens that pass through Cardiff's rip in the time - space continuum, good old human evil still has a lot to answer for.

Well that was how I saw it last night.

In this morning's paper I read that the nation's most famous tree hugger, Prince Charles, has just bought a run down farm in the Brecon Beacons.

Oo-er missis, is that coincidence or are sinister forces at work here?

Check out this poem about the consequences of messing with stuff we don't understand ...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

I Just Met A Girl Named Maria

From time to time something happens that makes me feel I am once more young and attractive to the opposite sex. Such an instance was the e-mail I received this week from Maria. She wrote:
"Hello Mr. Thorp. I am dark hair Russian, age 26, attractive professional lady and working in marketing structure selling cosmetic (ooh that accent sends chills up and down my spine.).I read your details on world wide web and find you interesting, attractive man (Isn't she wonderful?) I am intelligent, mature woman who is ready for creating family with good man. (ah - erm, creating family? As in making babies? She obviously didn't read the bit about the vasectomy...) Even if this is not your searching for in the future it would be fine if we can meet and do friendship (friendship, bugger! I thought I'd scored) or maybe do more than just friendship (I have scored!)
Mail me,
yours with love and many kisses, (now hang on girl, we haven't been properly introduced)
Maria.
Needless to say I'm all of a flutter wondering does she have green eyes and those classic Russian cheekbones, is her accent really that cute and will the overdraft stretch to an hour of her time or just a quickie?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Lightning Exits Woman's Bottom

It must be the greatest newspaper headline of all time or the ultimate in anal eroticism and so long as there are such stories the traditional media has nothing to fear from us miserable rabble of bloggers.
But can this story from The Australian possibly be true?
Well yes, it is actual actuality actually.

Mrs Natasha Tomarovic told The Australian's reporter, "I was brushing my teeth and had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse when the bolt must have struck the building. I don't remember much else.
After treating Mrs. Tomarovic for burns to the mouth and anus a doctor said, "its a bizarre occurrence but not impossible: she was wearing rubber bath shoes at the time so instead of earthing through her feet the electricity shot out of her backside."

Its not quite the same as the sun shining out of someone's arse but is probably as near as anyone will get in this realm of reality.

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Sewer Thing

Belgium, where the sretts are paved with ......... cast iron (image source)

The Belgian city of Charleroi has been hit by a spate of drain-cover thefts because of rising metal prices. About 70 sewer lids made from cast iron have vanished since Thursday of last week, an official at the town hall said. A 40kg sewer lid can be sold on the black market for roughly e6 (£4), the official said. "We have put pressure on resellers of metals and warned them they will be prosecuted if they are found with lid covers," he said.

As they say in my part of the world "where there's muck there's money."

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Shot Through The Foot Again

by Little Nicky Machiavelli:

American Civil War (image source)

We should never underestimate the ability of Americans to shoot themselves in the foot. The hymn chosen for yesterday's wrath laying ceremony at Ground Zero was the unsurpassably inappropriate " The Son Of God Goes Forth To War."

The lyric starts off like this:

The Son of God goes forth to war,
A kingly crown to gain,
His blood red banner streams afar,
Who follows in his train.

It then goes on in the same vein for several mote verses. Now call Little Nick an namby - pamby appeaser if you like but I would have thought that is just asking for trouble. Its a bit like slapping your enemy's face with your golve and then unzipping your pants and pissing on his boots.

So are we surprised to hear on this morning's news that the USA stands accused of faking its eforts to oppose ISIS in Syria because the real agenda all the time was to overthrow Assad, and that now ISIS fighters are firing on US non - combatant troops with weapons supplied to them by the USA?

All together now, The son of God goes off to war ....

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Our Debt to Islam

A Zoroastrian symbol for wisdom. (source)

The extremism and religious fundamentalism we associate with Islam is quite a modern phenomenon, the religion, like Judaeism and Christianity grew out of middle eastern belief systems such as Zoroastrianism and Brahminism, although the so - called Abrahamic religions also incorporate quite a lot of Hellenic and Egyptian paganism. Untangling the development of human societies from the earliest civilisations is a complex task however. and the extremist fundamentalism of modern Muslims does not make it any easier for the western mindset to understand the Islamic point of view.

As right wing politicians and commentators ramp up the rhetoric about fundamentalist Islamic ideology and the left grow ever more desperate in their efforts to defend Muslims against accusations of brutality and medievalism, I decided that the western world forgets too easily what we have to thank for our modern civilisation. During the "dark ages" it was Christianity, not the Muslims, pagans of northern Europe or Hindus that tried to eradicate learning and knowledge and the sciences we now depend on so much were only preserved by those pagans and in the Jewish and Islamic world.

A good example is during the Crusades, the barber - surgeons who travelled with Christian armies were known as 'sawbones' because what yhey mostly did was amputate limbs that had become infected when the physician priests had treated open wounds with a poultice of dung and urine, "to draw out evil humours from the flesh" and presecribed prayer. Some of the soldiers however chose to be treated by Jewish or Muslim physicians, who would bathe an oen wound with warm wine, close it by stitching with sterilized (boiled) sinew and bind it with cloths soaked in antiseptic herbs such as lavender. The Jews and Arabs got much better results than the Christian priest physicians with their poop and piety therapy and so the barber surgeons learned the techniques, brought them to Europe and were burned or beheaded for heresy if caught using them.

Northern Europe also had healers who used similar techniques and obtained amazingly good results, from the complex surgery carried out with primitive tools and techniques by Druids, to some herbal cures used by the village 'wise women' some of which are to the present day equalling the results of Big Pharma's expensive products.

It was not just medicine and health in which the east was ahead of Christians. Mathematics, building, engineering, horticulture, astronomy and map making (geography) were fields in which they excelled.

Not that I would ever suggest the world of Islam was responsible for the development of the arts and sciences. Their contribution was that, unlike the fanatical, obsessive early Christians, they did not kill people for valuing and teaching the things we had inherited from the learned scholars of Zoroastrianism (The Magi of the New Testament), the Brahmins of India, and the aristocratic castes of Hellenic and Egyptian pagan cultures.

The scholars of the Islamic world were instrumental in preserving that knowledge and taking it forward. They were a bridge between the Magi and modern science.

Read my article Our Debt To Islam at Greenteethmm.com or at Authorsden.com

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Ed Butt Is Back

After taking a long break from verbally nutting celebrity, political and corportate two faced bastards bastards and helping consolidate the position of my friend Little Nicky Machiavelli I, Ed Butt am back.

Chck out these stories and the accompanying comments to get a taster of what you are in for

The troubles of and teachers with boobs

Is Big Business The Baddie

You can also see more of the most irreverent, funniest writing on the web at
Machiavelli hard hitting political and social comment
Boggart Blog from the surreal to the ridiculous, you will not find a finnier blog.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Pals (In Memoriam)

Today is the 90th anniversary of the battle of the Somme in which over a million men died. My hometown, Accrington was badly affected. Young conscripts had all been assigned to the same battalion of the East Lancashire regiment and went "over the top" together. In a few minutes an entire generation of the town's men had been wiped out.

As America looks with incresing belligerence towards Iran and the slughter continues in Afghanistan and Iraq, remember with me The Accrington Pals and join the movement to stop this insanity repeating again and again.

More anti - war and anti oppression poems by Ian Thorpe
Songs of Glory
western monkeys
Afghan Woman